At least you don’t have to explain roaches to the cops.
I love these! My favorite one is, “if you were forced to shove a whole pineapple up your ass, as a matter of life and death, would you insert it top or bottom first?”
Keep in mind, you’ll need to get it back out once it’s in.
Bottom first. The leaves would serve as a flared end and a handle. You’d want it to be ripe-ish I imagine. Ripe enough to have a little give, but not ripe enough that the leaves come out too easily.
Pineapples also come in different sizes, I’ve seen some homegrown ones posted on Lemmy that seem…manageable.
Just keep in mind that the hard, pointed spikes on the outside face up, so you’ll be pulling it out against them.
If you do top first you get the harder part over with, and then have plenty of blood to lubricate the way out.
It’s a horrific image but it’s the right way to go. You’ll simply never, under any circumstances, make it work the other way.
I mean it won’t work either way but if you don’t fucking die by the end of it at least you could theoretically get patched up.
I mean, if it has to go in whole, does it need to come out whole? Or can we cut that bitch up once it’s in?
Additional tools are not allowed. You’re welcome to attempt to crush it with your pelvic floor muscles.
I like the body swap sex one. would you rather have sex with your SO in your respective parent’s body, or your parent in your SO’s body.
The roaches. At least you know their true nature, not surprising to find them there and, in days of high frustration, one can go up and stomp a few for that crunchy sound of bug demise.
Look at this guy, he doesn’t comprehend the true nature of man or like human crunch.
Sounds like you’ve never had the misfortune of being somewhere with a roach infestation.
Ive dealt with a few though, its not really as bad or as hard as most people think. Its just about being thorough and sustained, you arent going to get them all in one hit. It just takes a few months of regularly repeating the basics of bombing, baits and spray.
its not really as bad or as hard as most people think.
It just takes a few months
I would consider anything that takes months to fix to be pretty bad.
People can get sick from roach feces from just a few roaches, especially if you have asthma; having 1000 would be really bad
No way, you won’t be able to get the roaches out nearly as easy as the person
And that’s easier than just grabbing a dude by the neck and throwing them out?
Depends on the ambient temperature, no? I was under the understanding that roaches don’t typically fly in northern states because it’s colder.
Personally, I’d go for the person. Roach phobia entirely not factoring in here.
My attic is over a detached garage. If someone can access that space somehow, and wants to live there, whatever. It’s roomy enough to be fairly comfortable, tho you can’t stand up straight, and it’s insulated with electric outlets, so I’m not suuuuper likely to find a frozen person in spring. Not great, but as long as they don’t leave a mess or whatever, meh, doesn’t harm me any beyond electrical use. I probably wouldn’t even find out about it for a long time, since I never go up there; the ladder is duct-taped where it cracked at some point, and I can’t be bothered to replace it.
Roaches, however, would not stay contained to the garage. That’s a deal-breaker.
Only a hard choice if you’ve never dealt with roaches. 1000 roaches is enough to convince me that the house would never be free of them ever, roaches are incredible in the way they survive and thrive. Unless you made sure you killed every single last one and their offspring, you ain’t getting rid of them.
You can kill one person. You can’t kill 1000 roaches.