• Putin has signed a decree that Russia will welcome foreigners who want to escape Western liberal ideals.
  • Applicants may include those from countries unaligned with “Russian spiritual and moral values.”
  • The application process has been simplified, and visas will be issued as soon as next month.
207 points

Huh, is the meat grinder not getting enough?

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97 points

Probably also a massive brain drain to boot.

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120 points

Yeah, I don’t think this will help very much with that particular issue…

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42 points

I don’t know. Maybe they need more cryptocurrency experts and sovcit hedge-lawyers to help with getting around sanctions

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6 points
*

What are you on about? This migration will cause the IQ in Russia and the originating country to go up.

/s

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4 points

I have bad news for them if they think accepting people running from “Western liberal ideals” is going to help with that somehow.

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53 points

Probably. “Come to Russia! Is safe place! Is not place with liberals! What? No, we don’t need bodies for military! No conscription of foreigners here!”

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30 points

Fast and easy to get citizenship!

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32 points

Service guarantees citizenship!

Would you like to know more?

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19 points

Plus a little state sponsored travel, for a treat!

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“If it works for Isis, surely this will work for me.”

Odd thing is, he might not be far off. He could try to sell some incels on hot single Russian women whose men have all died in 60 year old tanks. Also maybe some gravy seals might be willing to sign up. Maybe when Trump loses he’ll move there followed by some of his MAGA cult, and they’ll be this English speaking enclave in Russia somewhere. Could be the premise for a sci-fi tv show.

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5 points

I mean, most of them want a strong man dictator type anyway!

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155 points

As a western liberal, I would feel so owned if conservatives started heading over to Russia en masse. Just the thought of not being able to convert their children into Satanic, transgender bisexuals and forcing abortions on them makes me want to puke. Please stay, stop, don’t go.

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51 points

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30 points

I get your point, but if anyone goes over there, they’re bringing their underage children, and those children will likely suffer. So, I’d rather them stay and be safe than be right and have them suffer. I don’t wish ill on those hateful people, for the most part, I wish them a clear view of the social, political, and economic landscapes.

Now, the people who intentionally hatemonger for profit, like Alex Jones, I would not be sad if they met an untimely fate.

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14 points

Spoon in underwear at the airport, kids, if you think your parents might be trafficking you to another country and you don’t want to go.

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4 points

Ok…I get the spoon would set off the scanner. I get you’d need a strip search…but I’m not getting how having a TSA agent finger your butthole to find a spoon would help.

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12 points
*

This is also just an attempt to shore up demographics after losing THOUSANDS of men against Ukraine, and a good chunk of Russian nationals simply fleeing the country to avoid conscription. So you don’t get a nice apartment in Moscow or St Petersburg, you get a little hovel out in Siberia and all the farmland you could want.

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2 points

you get a little hovel out in Siberia and all the farmland you could want.

Don’t threaten me with a good time.

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6 points

Conservatives grew up loving western liberalism and were later told to hate it. Kids brought over there will flip flop and rebel just like their parents did.

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6 points

Yes, but that kind of rebellion is even more dangerous there.

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10 points

I’m reminded of Obama winning the 2012 election and a bunch of troll conservatives bombarding the “We The People” petition website with requests to secede from the country

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1 point

I would cry rivers of proverbial progressive tears if every single repugnicunt took pooty poot up on his offer.

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111 points
*

Go Republicans. Go to the land of *true freedom!

^^^true ^^^freedom ^^^not ^^^guaranteed ^^^nether ^^^is ^^^food, ^^^goods, ^^^and ^^^conscription ^^^highly ^^^likely. ^^^Visas ^^^surrendered ^^^apon ^^^entry ^^^and ^^^use ^^^as ^^^a ^^^bargaining ^^^chip ^^^for ^^^Russian ^^^spies ^^^guaranteed.

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25 points

Dang, that reads like a commercial for pharmaceuticals.

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2 points

Ask your propagandist if Copium is for you…

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94 points

On arrival, you will be provided with a military uniform with minimal bloodstains, a rifle from WW2 that may or may not work, and free transportation to the beautiful Russian countryside of Kursk.

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7 points

And if you don’t like Kursk there are free accommodations at the Gulags.

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89 points

About to be a bunch of confused conservatives showing up in Kursk with a few bullets and no training?

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47 points

Who quickly realise that hunting deer isn’t a proper way to prepare for modern combat.

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17 points
*

My deer shoot back, don’t yours?

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2 points

And who have just relocated their best hostages to within Putin’s power. Yes, bring your nine children and wife along to Russia–now stay in rank on the front line, or maybe your oldest gets to come serve in your place (earlier than they would have anyway)!

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2 points

One extra vote per child!

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14 points

One gets the rifle, the other gets the spare mag.

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6 points

The man with the gun shoots the gun.

The man without a gun finds a gun.

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