We bought this run-down house, my boyfriend and I. While he started working on converting the kitchen into the main bedroom, I insisted on removing the old wallpaper. The previous owner papered every wall and ceiling in the house! It’s a lot of work to remove, but it feels so good to get rid of it. The best feeling is getting a long peel, like when your skin peels after a bad sunburn. I turned it into a game, on the hunt to rip the longest piece possible.
I noticed there was a person’s name and date under a corner section of paper in every room. I couldn’t help but investigate and Googled those names. What I discovered left me speechless. The names all belonged to missing people, and the dates matched the day of their disappearance! We notified the police, who sent the crime scene team. I overheard one of them say, “Yeah, it’s human.” Wait, what’s human? “Ma’am, where is all the material you removed? This isn’t wallpaper.”
debunk: would be too expensive, plant fiber is orders of magnitude cheaper.
If you already have some spare skin you can at least use it for somethimg. You wouldn’t eat that anyway, and mom will be happy for you remodeled the kitchen!
Another debunk: human skin wallpaper would be irregularly shaped, so it wouldn’t have “corners” to write names and dates under. Also, it would be a lot more than one victim per wall. Also also, I’m pretty sure it would look profoundly weird and not like normal wallpaper at all.
Nice foreshadowing with the bit about peeling a sunburn, though.
If you have not read it, I recommend you this short comic: https://emcarroll.com/comics/faceallred/01.html
Same dread feeling…
Thanks for this recommendation! You know some places where I find more of this?
This one is also very good.
Get the short stories from Stephen King, I like “Everything is eventual” particularly “The Man in the Black Suit” , I have kids now so I think about this one pretty often. Also the “1408” short story is there.
E.M. Carroll has some other comics but I haven’t read them yet.
And switching things a little bit, play “Fear amd Hunger” or watch Worm Girl narrating it. Really dread-y
That’s all I remember for now.
Two courses of action.
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You detain and tie up the Ramirez already inside, just in case. Then you let the Ramirez outside in and do the same. You proceed trying to figure out what’s going on. Who is the real one? Problem with this scenario is now you 100% have the fake one inside with you.
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You detain and tie up the Ramirez already inside, just in case. You leave the one outside to die. Unethical, but now there’s only a 50/50 chance the one inside with you is the fake one.
Alternate option if you’re feeling really unethical is you just instantly kill the one already inside and also leave the one outside to die. Technically the safest option.
Everyone knows the correct answer is the alternate option, but the first one makes the initial drama and sets up the opportunity for a movie to happen in the first place.
I hate how fucking plausible this joke is, if this actually happens I’m holding you personally accountable
Narrator: From the brilliant minds that mildly regret they brought you “The Emoji Movie.”
“Guys wait, it’s not me!” (Gets spaced and the rest of the cast grimaces and goes “OOOooo…😬”)
(Awkward pause)
“…I’m okay!”
Narrator: “Comes an adventure…”
“Guys I think Randy’s kinda sus.”
“Why’s that?”
(Randy farts)
Randy: “Wasn’t me…? Hehe?”
Narrator: “…about knowing who you can trust…”
“One of us is an imposter , if we don’t find out who it is we’re all doomed!”
“What are we supposed to do we don’t even have hands!”
Narrator: “…and who’s kinda sus…”
(Body found)
Narrator: “Starring…Chris Pratt…”
“Ewww…who knew we had like…one bone?”
Narrator: “…Wanda Sykes…”
“Gary! Are you for real right now?!”
“I STRESS EAT FOR SELF-CARE WHEN I’M HUNGRY OKAY?!”
Narrator: “…Dwayne The Rock Johnson…”
“Guys…heh…come on…(smile twinkle).”
Narrator: “Danny DeVito…”
“It could be any one of us, but DEFINITELY not me I was doing the beep boop thingy with the doodad right over here…IT WAS DEFINITELY MEGAN.”
Narrator: “…And John Cena…”
“You didn’t see me do anything…you didn’t see nothin!”
“…Does that work better with hands?”
“…yeah…”
NARRATOR: " …As “Probably not the Imposter”…this summer…"
AMOOGOOS
Alternate option if you’re feeling really unethical is you just instantly kill the one already inside and also leave the one outside to die. Technically the safest option.
Kick out the inside Ramirez and let them fight to the death. The winner is the fake one.
If the non-ramirez entity has any sort of offensive powers, trying to kill or restrain it might yield a worse outcome. Like, you try to tie up the one inside and it decides the cat is out of the bag, so it bursts out of its skin suit and strangles you.
Maybe it just wants a snuggle buddy, and is only violent when threatened. Ramirez isn’t bad looking…
Oh I’ve seen this one.
You tie them both up. Set them down on a couch next to each other. Get each of their blood into a dish. Then you take a flame thrower, heat up some metal and apply it to each dish of blood. Easy.
No you put both of them outside and then try to resolve it. Then no matter what happens the station is still ok. They both have comms, nothing is gained by letting either in.
Put Ramirez out in space with his mysterious doppelganger? Quite a dick move!
There’s a lot more room in space than in the station. You could easily put them a quarter mile apart out there, while in the station you could be killed in seconds.
Ramirez sus
Wasn’t this a Netflix movie
Isn’t it something happening in Solaris?
