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233 points

If marriage isn’t annoying your spouse with your nonsense on a daily basis then I dont know what marriage is.

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84 points

My wife is nearly annoy proof. If I texted that, she would get all warm and fuzzy.

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75 points

Sounds like your wife is keeping the Live, Laugh, Love pillow manufacturers in business.

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18 points

“Why fit in when you’re born to stand out?”

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32 points

Have you tried removing the toilet seat 1 hour after your wife goes to bed, so that when she gets up to pee at 2am and doesn’t turn on the light, she falls in?

Then you burst in, snap a pic, and upload it to your instagram with the caption “I keep the bitches pussy wet!”

Maybe THAT will annoy her?

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7 points

Thats not annoying, its just mean and disrespectful.

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3 points
*

Well we cant have that, of course. You need to try some new tactics.

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16 points

I literally promised an eye-roll per day in my vows. Can’t stop, won’t stop.

(Holiday inn)

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16 points

Texting my spouse in another country with random nonsense, even though with our data plan, it’s $0.10 a text.

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10 points

Can’t you use something like Telegram/Signal/WhatsApp and avoid the charges?

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Signal. Whatsapp maybe. But Telegram isn’t even encrypted e2e. Never Telegram.

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11 points

I should have married you instead of my wife. She’s just not that into it…

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3 points

hey Donna…

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