206 points

Don’t forget the inevitable “3 months ago we were made aware of a breach of the BONTO! servers. What information was taken? Bet you’d like to know wouldn’t you. What have we done about this situation? Fuck you, that’s what.”

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77 points

BUT . . .But. To make it up to you we’ve also sold your info to a “Privacy Lock” company who will sell you something imaginary for as long as you pay them. That’ll totally fix it.

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41 points

3 months later; privacy lock company is breached

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19 points

Oh it was an Eastern European shell this whole time and they have my social security number for some reason

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29 points

23 and Me customer here, and I couldn’t relate more. When I reached out to support to ask what data was stolen and how much they were planning on compensating me for having my genome leaked to the web, their answer was basically “We have no idea what you’re talking about. lol fuck you”

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16 points

You can’t use this service unless you give us your social security number. Whoops! Your SSN was stolen three months ago and we just found out.

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142 points

Don’t forget the 4500 emails suggesting you upgrade to slorp pro-premium-plus-max

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39 points

You make fun of this but I really had bonto pro-premium-plus-max and it comes with many benefits like not getting these mails anymore

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33 points

Then when you finally upgrade to premium plus max lifetime, the acquisition happens and lifetime licenses get cancelled.

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19 points

“You have 17 messages in your Slorp-box! Click here to log in”

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15 points
*

“Loser McDouchebag from high school recently Slorped! Click here to read it!”

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5 points
*

And, after the rebranding: “Someone looked at your BONTO! profile! Want to know who? Get BONTO! Premium and send them a BONTO!-Gram! Remember, this could be the beginning of something wonderful! Get it now for only $9,99 (first 6 months, conditions apply)!”

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7 points
*

And if you already did, then you’re really missing out on the pro lifetime plan that includes a lifetime license!*

^(* lifetime license only valid until we release the next version in 2 months)

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112 points

*Your 2FA login code for SLORP

*Your password reset link for SLORP

*Your password reset link for SLORP

*You have (2) new messages from other SLORP users

*There has been a login attempt from a new device on SLORP

*Your SLORP password may have been compromised

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9 points

I always get 4 fucking emails when I login into firefox on a new device

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106 points

Click here to unsubscribe from Slorp marketing emails. First log in. Forgot password? Click here to reset. Hmm, doesn’t appear to be a user account with that email address. Create an account? Check your email for the activation link. Confirm your contact information. Consent to tracking cookies? Manage notifications. Unsubscribe from all? We’re sad to see you go!

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50 points

You could just do the “report spam” if the unsubscribe link doesn’t immediately work.

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27 points

Yeah, the CAN-SPAM act, as far as I understand it, doesn’t allow them to force you to make an account just to unsubscribe.

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12 points

Thats assuming they obey it, and that its US based and under US law jurisdiction.

and as I learned with the national do not call registry, it is utterly meaningless and does nothing to prevent the issue at the best of times.

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5 points

It’s surprising how often they don’t comply. I think for while adobe was asking me for a login to unsubscribe, which I couldn’t remember or be bothered to reset the password for. They seem to have changed it recently. Maybe a lawyer realized they were exposed to class action

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1 point
Deleted by creator
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30 points

I always report spam without unsubscribing. It fks up their score with google.

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14 points

That, and there’s a high likelyhood the only thing the unsubscribe button would do is giving the spammers the valuable information that this email address is actually in use.

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3 points

like answering a spam call. all it does is register a good number and amplify the spam.

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1 point

Same here. Is there any way to disable the prompt entirely and always just report?

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2 points
*

Every platform with enough technical resources should support one click unsubscribe.

I never understood the concept of making it difficult to unsubscribe. Marketers have a hard enough time getting users to open email at all. Let users help you clean up your subscriber list with an easy opt out to reduce your send cost and improve deliverability.

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1 point

I just assume these are the same marketing types that will spend billions in ads offering anyone under the sun 1/2-off everything for a year. Customers that have been paying faithfully every month for years? Fuck off!

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23 points

/> reset password

“hmm, there doesn’t appear to be a user account with that email address”

/> Makes new account

“User account with that email exists. Reset password?”

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24 points

Try password

Incorrect credentials

Reset password

Fill in the password you want

Password can’t be the same as previous password

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

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7 points

Fill in the new password

Password must contain at least one special character

Fill in the new password

Password cannot contain @

Fill in the new password

Password must contain at least one number

Fill in the new password

You have attempted too many attempts at resetting your password and are now locked out of your account. To unlock your account please call 1-800-FUCK-YOU between 8:32 and 9:46 AM Eastern time.

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3 points

Slorp? That’s a weird way to spell Twitch.

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90 points

Remember when email was useful? I remember when it was magical!

Time for a story from the ancient times. I had this idea and asked my professor for advice. He said he knew a person on the other side of the world who would know all about it. “This is his ‘email’ address.”

I had never heard about ‘email’ so I needed to learn what it was and how to send one. I wrote my message and off it went. The very next morning I had a reply. One of the best experts on a topic I was keen about had shared their thoughts from the other side of the world, just like that.

In that time, a long time ago as you’ll appreciate, that interaction was magical.

In an instant I understood the power of the Usenet. A while later and with a couple of additional protocols they started calling that the Internet.

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28 points

Usenet is now INTERNET!

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24 points



The INTERNET is shutting down (?)

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8 points

The Usenet actually still exists.

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20 points

I remember in like 1997 or so, my friend’s dad got VoIP working on his computer, and we would talk to random people from around the world. I still have fond memories of my first conversation. It was someone in Australia! All the way on the other side of the planet, and we were talking in real time, FOR FREE! I’ve been a computer nerd ever since.

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3 points

I had a similar but very different experience. At the beginning of COVID my buddy and I got our ham radio licenses.

One of my earliest contacts was a guy in Japan, over 6000 miles away! Nothing between us but some wire strung up in a tree, and a couple of radios. Using the ionosphere to bounce our signals around the world.

So. Stinking. Awesome.

I’ve been hooked ever since.

It’s funny because it’s almost the opposite of your story, you were using the amazing new technology and infrastructure to make the trip. These days we take that very infrastructure for granted.

It’s fun to try doing it with as little infrastructure as possible!

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4 points

What time were you talking to the guy in Japan? I live in Japan and am (very slowly as technical and legal japanese are hard) working on my HAM license and would love to chat with my dad in the US eastern time zone. Still not 100% sure about propagation and other such. Thanks!

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2 points

That’s rad! I bought a ham radio during covid too, but I still haven’t got my license. I’ve studied for the test several times, but never felt ready to take it.

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6 points

Heh, that’s nostalgia. I always wonder what the young people of today’s equivalent will be. Probably something quantum.

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13 points

There is no equivalent, because it’s not new, and even if it was, it’s monetized and manipulative. The internet back then was wide open, free as fuck, and completely new!

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3 points

I was specifically referring to the ability to communicate in writing at that speed. I guess the telegraph technically existed as well, but it was expensive and awkward.

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6 points

The pre-Google YouTube is probably the closest thing I can think of. And just a time before when everything about the Internet was about profit.

Back when Google were cool.

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3 points
*

Google was the absolute coolest for a while. It’s a damn shame what they’ve become. Fuck you Sundar Pichai!

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2 points

I’ll admit that I didn’t really get YouTube when I first heard of it. I think justin.tv was the thing that made me realize there was something there, even though I only watched it all of about twice. Then again, I thought music CDs were a scam for the longest time. I’m old.

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1 point

It’s happening right now with AI. It’s currently in the Usenet phase. A few people understand it and are using it to positively alter their daily lives by improving their ability to gather and filter information, but (ironically) thanks to the internet the vast majority of people are distracted by some niches like generative art or writing book reports. In the next year or two, we’ll start to see mainstream people have AI personal assistants that will have conversations with other AIs. Even without the robotics component, daily life will change. Remember before you could order Amazon same day delivery, or Door Dash a meal? Imagine that level (and better) of tracking and communication for every service you could need, all completely automated. Your sink broke? A perfectly fine plumber can be here in 20 mins, be advised to expect an 80% chance that you’ll see their buttcrack, a 40% chance that they aren’t wearing deodorant, and a 100% chance there will be multiple off-color remarks about the current political situation. Does this bother you? Your AI already knows and an instant deep dive of reviews and social media has found a plumber that may in fact be your soul mate. They’ll be here on Thursday. Your AI queued up a playlist of your mutual favorite songs.

In a slower but possibly as life altering revolution, AR. Apple is starting this with Apple Vision Pro, but this will need to be miniaturized down to a discrete pair of glasses (like Meta Ray-Bans) with 3 pieces of tech that aren’t there yet:

  1. Even smaller computers (remember when they were the size of shipping containers?)
  2. More efficient batteries
  3. A display technology that both adjusts focus depending on the distance your eyes are focusing at while also occluding reality.

I’m confident these will exist in our lifetime, but probably not within the next decade. Once they all come together, the way people experience life will change. Both for the better and worse. If capitalism hasn’t been legislatively reigned in a bit, the ads are going to be insane.

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2 points

I actually work with ML a lot (at the intersection of my domain with it), though I am not an ML/AI engineer.

I think short-term, ML/AI has a great chance of helping hugely with accessibility issues with users of various systems. My secondary thought is maybe related to elder care, but I’m not sure yet.

I have largely had bad experiences with AI assistants (coding, search, and other domains), except maybe helping with finding/generating code samples for libs/packages with poor or missing documentation (though I go to the docs and code first and those results aren’t always correct).

I do see virtual assistants in various forms being a possible near-term implementation with promise, but most are still heavily trained on and biased to. A handful of languages (in the case of LLMs and such) which limits global appeal.

I am both frightened (the race to market without considering the near- nor long-term costs to society as a whole neither ethics in many cases) and hopeful about the whole thing.

I think you are probably correct, though I also feel we might have something in physics or robotics that has ripple effects opening new avenues. Only time will tell, I suppose. Cheers!

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4 points

Yeah, man. Good times. Good times.

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1 point

That is what the internet used to be. You could reach out to some of the best minds in science and industry. Then they opened it up to the public. And by “public” I mean every degenerate opportunist in the world.

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Microblog Memes

!microblogmemes@lemmy.world

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, Twitter X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

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