141 points

it happens in movies because it happens in real life too. when in crisis, often there is sense of loss of control or autonomy. for most, something that can provide an outlet for such a frustration is oneā€™s appearance. and, while men do too, women broadly tend to have the more intimate relationship with their hair. so: haircut (or hair dye, or both).

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68 points

Can confirm the guy side of this. Have shaved my head in moments of crisis. Not something I consciously considered before doing it. Just feltā€¦ Idk, claustrophobic and needed to do something.

Also, when my mom was in the hospital last year, had I been able to get in with one, I wouldā€™ve had a tattoo by the time she got out.

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31 points

Iā€™ve done it before too, lowest point in my life, just grabbed some scissors and cut down my long hair :(

A little upsetting to see people calling it a trope, when it is a real reaction to trauma :/

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33 points

Tropes can absolutely be based in reality. A trope is simply a commonly used stylistic device or convention in media. Sometimes itā€™s commonly used because reality just works that way. There nothing inherently cheap about it.

Cutting the hair short as a trope tells us that the character is in an extremely stressful or even traumatic situation and is trying to regain a sense of control. Thatā€™s a complex situation but can be told in seconds by relating to actual reality.

Itā€™s not a trope in reality but it is one when used to convey a characters emotional state in a story.

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15 points
*

Also guy here, did this as well.

But uh, mainly because I literally cannot get to a haircut place. Been functionally hobbled for 6 months, car got stolen, donā€™t know anybody nearby with a car, no public transit, lyft or uber + a hair cut each month is actually pretty pricey when you are living on disability, waiting for public housing.

Been ordering delivery groceries for a while now, added a buzz trimmer to it this month.

At the rate my hair grows, itā€™ll be back to roughly the length I usually keep it at by the time my PT regimen gets me back into ā€˜normalā€™ shape (probably another 6 months).

So sure, I am in what most people would probably consider a crisis, but it makes practical sense too.

Either way, cutting your hair hair is literally a more healthy way to directly exert what little amount of control you have over yourselfā€¦ but it is, at least in my experience, far more socially ostracizing than cutting yourself.

Not counting me cutting my own hair, I have know several people in my life who have done both or either of these.

When people cut themselves and this is noticable, people who care at all will be concerned and try to talk to them, suggest therapy. They receive more care and attention.

When someone takes all their hair off? Theyā€™ll be treated as if they are completely insane, should be avoided and are suspect, and/or are dangerous and should be institutionalized.

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6 points

Hitting the nail on the head in that last paragraph.

Also, Iā€™m sorry. Thatā€™s a shitty situation. Itā€™s wildly unl unlikely, but if you happen to be in east TN, I have a car and donā€™t mind taxi-ing a Lemming in need

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14 points

I have full sleeve tattoos that started as piecemeal trauma tattoos. I get it.

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4 points

Iā€™m still highly considering a tattoo, but now in a much more stable place, so my needle phobia is helping keep my canvas blank lol

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22 points

Also hair is uncontrollable and gets everywhere if you let it. If you are already stressed, then you can literally get annoyed by your hair existing on your head doing its thing.

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13 points

yes! i wanted to mention this, that hair can be a sensory overload problem too so cutting hair can just be a way to optimize sensory performance in a state of stress as well. but i forgot so thanks for the reminder!

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-17 points

Women fuck their hair?

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4 points

ā€œIntimateā€ as in close, and personal/important, notā€¦ That.

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0 points

I think you are lying.

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51 points

As a guy with audhd and long hair, when life gets extra tough, cutting all my hair off is simple way to remove extra self-care steps from my life. This allows me to focus on other more pressing tasks. And itā€™s completely reversible

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-5 points

Growing back takes time

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23 points

So does personal growth

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44 points
*

Speaking as a man with no hair now ā€“ itā€™s very freeing. It is physically cool, it is less bullshit to deal with. No waking up & being like, ooo, gotta work with my fucking hair. Others are saying itā€™s autonomy & control, probably not wrong, but itā€™s also just plain smart. Practical.

Also a defensive strategy. If the hair is kept short, people canā€™t grab you by the hair & force your head around. Yank your head back & slit your throat.

Name the phenomenonā€¦ No hair donā€™t care. ĀÆ\_(惄)_/ĀÆ

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12 points
*

Iā€™m a dude who grew his hair out because itā€™s less work to deal with. Just pull it back and Iā€™m good to go. When itā€™s short my hair is totally unruly.

Though when it starts thinning too much Iā€™m going full Kratos.

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4 points

Okay there you go, if it looks good by all means keep it going. Even if it looks bad, itā€™s your life, not mineā€¦

Word to the wise, my male friends with ponytails have reported (same as women) donā€™t make that damn ponytail too tight!! Headaches. And it will strain your hair, cause excess thinning, damage. Again, so they say, no personal experience. Oh & if/when you embrace bald: handheld skull shavers are simply amazing. Itā€™s great to have one around!

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3 points

Yep, I switched from standard hair ties to scrunchies a few years ago since they put a lot less stress on the hair. Plus theyā€™re colorful and fun.

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11 points

laissez hair

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41 points

Trauma cut, a distancing from the identity that experienced trauma

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4 points

Good enough for Max Payne, good enough for me.

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Iā€™m not a doctor or psychologist. Iā€™m also aware that Iā€™m replying to a greentext, but hear me out.

I think itā€™s simply ā€œexercising agency and bodily autonomy.ā€ Being able to modify oneā€™s own body is a way to establish that you have the most basic form of control over yourself and your environment. It can help arrest the sensation of being out of control or under complete control of outside forces; an answer to feeling totally vulnerable. Cutting your hair off is an easy and quasi-socially-acceptable way to do this.

Were you not able to do this somehow, of your own volition, youā€™re probably in a very bad way and have much bigger problems to solve.

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11 points

Could also be that in a life or death scenario having your hair in the way of your sight isnā€™t beneficial

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