Hello ladies (current and former) of Lemmy (current) - I’m curious how your experience of the male gaze has changed as you moved in and out of young-woman-hood.
How has your opinion of being seen changed through this process?
Are you asking as a male or someone who’s transitioning out of young womanhood?
I’m a boring guy like from an insurance commercial, just curious what it’s like on the other side and especially in the way that experience changes! The categories in the title were the first I thought of for people who may have passed through or into a peak of sexual desirability. It’s probably fraught question, and I’m sure I’m phrasing it indelicately.
He does sound like a tool.
I’m not sure what I meant either, I’ll just remove it. I’m sure I had a brilliant thought behind it at the time!
I’m oblivious and always have been. I assume every smile is a friendly smile and I’m ok chatting with almost anyone. I only really notice if someone says something creepy or touches me too much. My husband accuses me of flirting with everyone.
I have always been “non-traditional” looking. When I was young and skinny I don’t think I was ugly but certainly not conventionally beautiful. Now that I’m older I am certifiably “meh”.
The expectation to look pretty (for men) is still there even if I don’t meet the criteria for their attention. I still feel the societal pressure, I still feel bad about my appearance when I’m not serving male gaze ideals. It doesn’t just go away even when you’re disqualified from personhood for being ugly.
I’m hoping becoming an old biddy will release me from requirements and I can feel free.
I believe you are talking about “The Wall”, there are people who say women hit “The Wall” at 30yo I am not sure, maybe some women around 35yo.
If you are a woman I suggest you to get married at 29yo or less or probably you will be forever-alone or at least you can have what you want and not the least worse.
I don’t like to disclose personal identificable information on the internet, but I am +25yo.
I’m not saying it’s scientifically proven… but I’ve personally noticed that women lose most of their physical attractiveness at age 30, which means attention from perhaps 90% of men who generally focus only on their physique.
I mean, I agree with you observation, but your suggestion seems asinine. I don’t think 90% of men go for looks only. A majority, probably, but I’d guess more like 60-70%. Also, men in their 30s generally also start to understand that looks aren’t everything. So just because a woman is single at 30 does not mean she has to settle for “the least worse”
From the economic POV I believe it is a good point, but, from the human biological POV I believe people generally need a partner to found real life meaning.
I think there are exceptions to the rule obviously.
That’s not even close to true. Don’t believe what Hollywood and Disney are trying to sell. Having a partner doesn’t grant meaning or satisfaction with life, nor does not having one bar you from either.
The kind of people who are happy with someone tend to also be the kind of people who are happy single.
Huh. I don’t live in that world I guess. A wall? For women but not men? Ha ha ha! Here, women are mostly holding up much better as far as I can tell.
Fertility - wise, what you say makes more sense, if you want a family better to start before 30 if you can, it’s easier on your body, and probably the origin of that wall nonsense. Having my last one at nearly 40 was not hard, but a first one that old is riskier.
I believe there is a wall for men also but it’s not related to the age and more about personality stuff, in the case of women and in the society historically women physical aspect have been more important not the same for men. Idk the numbers but just compare how much men vs women are on onlyfans and I can bet the few men are more attractive by their personality than by the physical aspect.
Men definetly care about women personality but I believe it’s of second importance, but for women if men didn’t have a good personality they aren’t attractive at all.
I mean women’s personality it’s very important also but usually men care less about it than physical attraction.
Historically women attractive it’s based on the beauty and men attractive it’s based in personality and other characteristics like social status, money and power(leadership).
My point could be, there are men who born in the wall, women also but it’s not the same how both roles generate attractiveness.
