83 points

I’m a school bus driver, and last year right before Christmas we had a notice put up banning Christmas decorations on the buses. We eventually learned that this was because a couple of parents had complained about the pro-Christianity bias of Christmas decorations, which was strange because nobody had put anything on their buses other than the standard secular red-and-green shit; like, nobody put up Jesus or manger scenes or anything like that. We then learned that the actual complaints had been about drivers encouraging the children to sing religious Christmas songs.

It turned out that the culprit was me, because I had asked the kids if they could sing “The Little Drummer Boy”. None of the (60+) kids on the bus had ever heard it so I guess some of them asked their parents about it. Ironically, I’m a fucking atheist - I just like the tune. Fortunately the ban caused a giant shit storm as all the other parents in the district complained about it and it was rescinded. For bonus points, it eventually led to the firing of the district superintendent (who was a shitbag for lots of other reasons).

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23 points

Christmas’s problem is that it has been too successful. It’s no longer a religious holiday. It’s a cultural holiday that has permeated every aspect of American culture.

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19 points

The true meaning of Christmas is: it was a Coca-Cola advertisement.

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6 points

I’m tried of this cynical pseudo-history.

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6 points
*

Like everything else it touches, capitalism co-opted and ruined it.

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13 points

All is well that ends well

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12 points

Imagine getting your ass handed to you because of the little drummer boy incident lmao

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1 point

Yeah, it’s not how I want to go out.

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6 points

It’s quite amazing how much drama people can conjure out of nothing.

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-10 points

Drag supports removing Christmas from schools. And drag will buy the story that Christmas is secular when the word “Christ” is removed from the name.

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8 points

How about Horus-Day, since Christianity simply adopted an extant God’s birthday as a strategy to greater assimilation?

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12 points

Well, it’s just Jul, so we could all just go back to calling it Yule. Literally nothing changes and the Christians can still do whatever they want.

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1 point

christ is the xerox of the olden times

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67 points

In fairness to the one dude, gold would have been super useful.

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41 points

The incredibly expensive luxury perfume ingredients aren’t exactly bad gifts either - should be able to convert them into ready cash at any market in the middle east.

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36 points

They’re all very fungible assets, maybe even more than cash in those times. Except the drummer boy, but a song is probably all that poor kid had to give.

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20 points

Maybe he transferred the copyright as well and Mary made bank on the streaming royalties.

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7 points

Likewise for frankincense and myrrh. Couldn’t have smelled great in that stable.

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29 points

On the other hand… She just got a ‘miraculous’ birth and three dudes with expensive gifts show up for it… If I were Joseph I would be extremely suspicious

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8 points

She just likes to keep an amicable friendship with all her ex boyfriends, no big deal!

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12 points

Am I just crazy, or is the mary illustrated here kind of a bitch? The baby isn’t going to care if you get it a fucking onesie or a lasagna, because it definitely won’t understand anything going on for another year, minimum. If I bring a gift ‘for the baby’ that the parents will use, isn’t that just as good? Maybe gold, incense, and myrrh aren’t the best things to put in the crib, but I’m pretty sure it was some 14-year old hands that opened the gift wrap, and those 14 year old hands can sell the expensive gifts if they want to.

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16 points

Here are some practical gift ideas for the newborn saviour of humanity:

Baby clothes
Crib
Diapers
Teddy bear
Rattle
Babysitting vouchers
Baby bjorn
Tea (for mum)
Mobile
Chocolate (for mum)
The Hobbit hardcover

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7 points

I’m not sure how this immaculate conception works, but maybe also baby formula in case Mary wasn’t lactating since this was a… mysterious pregnancy.

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10 points

Weird nitpick, and I only know this because it was a bar trivia question that I got wrong once: the Immaculate Conception actually refers to Mary’s conception, not Jesus’.

… I know right? Like what?

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4 points

If she was able to have the labor portion, I’d assume everything else went according to normal pregnancy standards. So, yes, I guess 14-year old Mary was lactating?

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2 points

If you just got done giving birth in a stable because some diety decided to knock you up without your consent then you’ve earned the right to be a bit of a bitch.

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1 point

I mean, yes, fine, agreed. I’d love it if ‘god’ decided to pull a repeat but did it in a state that actually has healthcare. Hello, abortion-jesus!

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10 points

He played his best for him.

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2 points

…And it just wasn’t good enough.

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