-7 points

permalink
report
reply
5 points

or have a bidet

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

I wish people would stop recommending this all the time. No everyone can renovate their bathrooms, in most people are not in a position to renovate their bathrooms because they don’t own the properties.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

you just screw off the toilet seat and put it on

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

I have installed a bidet in every single property I’ve rented. It takes 5 minutes, and all the parts come in the box to split the water supply.

I literally cannot imagine why you think this requires renovation of a bathroom.

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Yes, that’s ideal

permalink
report
parent
reply
14 points

Looks expensive and wasteful.

permalink
report
parent
reply
-1 points

Expensive, yeah; wasteful, no. It might even save toilet paper for people like OOP since it requires less wiping.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

The claims about how they dissolve are marketing claims, i.e. false.

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

They’re really bad for the environment, they are not biodegradable because they are not paper. They also clog up the sewage system.

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

There’s been multiple reports showing that these flushable wipes are not actually flushable because they clog the drainage system down the line and do not degrade as normal toilet paper.

The proper less waste solution is a bidet ya filthy shit stained savages.

permalink
report
parent
reply
-7 points

This is entirely why I’ve become dependent on flushable wipes. Any combination of wet and dry toilet paper still takes forever to wipe properly and leaves my ass feeling sore whereas wipes always just takes one or two to completely get the job done. Idk if I have a sensitive ass or just missed the lesson on how to wipe right, but it feels like flushable wipes are the only thing that works for me 🤷‍♀️

permalink
report
reply
5 points

Second verse, same as the first. Flushable wipes aren’t flushable, but I also completely agree with you that they’re the only wiping tech that works!

Bidet at home, and I carry a small pack of flushable wipes in the vehicles. If I have an issue and must use a public restroom (avoid at all costs, because ew) I take the pack of wipes and a small bag with me into the restroom. Throw the used wipe in the bag, throw it away when done. The bags come from a roll of those bags you use to pick up dog poop. Hell, when we were in Mexico, all the restrooms, including at the hotel, had signs saying not to flush regular toilet paper, to throw it away. Not such a stretch after that! Lol

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

I’ve got to be honest I’ve just perfected the art of wiping my backside.

permalink
report
parent
reply
23 points

‘flushable’ wipes aren’t flushable bro

permalink
report
parent
reply
18 points

Fair enough. Just be sure that the wipes really are “flushable”. I mean, you can flush basically anything - but most things are bad for your plumbing and for the wider sewage system. My understanding is that if the wipe doesn’t break apart easily when it is wet, then it is not suitable for flushing.

In Australia, I noticed a heap of different ‘flushable’ wipe products vanished after new regulations were introduced. Actually, I don’t recall see any such products at all recently.

permalink
report
parent
reply
34 points
*

Unfortunately flushable wipes are not flushable. If you actually read on the packaging what they mean by flushable they just mean that they are saying it won’t clog your specific pipes.

however will not properly break down in the sewer and absolutely do still cause giant clogs that sewer workers have to manually tear apart. Which I mean makes sense just think about it a wet wipe literally has to be wet from the moment it’s created and packaged while it sits in the store and after it gets to you and still be usable. It obviously doesn’t break down in water or else it would just be debris by the time you opened it.

Save yourself some money and see where workers some stress get a bidet you can get really really nice super fancy ones that have heated seating heated water and a bunch of different stuff from Home Depot for like $300 or you can get one of the really cheap here is essentially just a spray head connected to water

permalink
report
parent
reply

Protip: You wipe after you completely finish shitting, not the entire time you’re shitting.

permalink
report
reply
4 points

Basic maintenance. Trim your asshole and put some lotion up there.

Spread your cheeks when you shit and if its bad really get up in there the first couple swipes. Also eat more fiber

permalink
report
parent
reply
25 points

Thanks for the shitty tip!

permalink
report
parent
reply
17 points

A shitty tip is when your partner didn’t wipe before anal

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

As a gay bottom (gottom™), your partner should be doing more than wiping before anal

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Speak for yourself. Some of us can poop in parallel.

permalink
report
parent
reply
54 points

I get all my wipes out at the beginning of the month, that way I don’t have to waste time later on

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

Smart

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

The first week, friends still hang out.

The last 3 weeks Pepé le Pew is their only buddy.

permalink
report
parent
reply
19 points

Use a bidet, I find whenever I have a burning, the bidet does it.

The blood is likely from a popped hemroid

permalink
report
reply
1 point
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Moving to Finland was the best thing for my my butt. So clean.

permalink
report
parent
reply
137 points

permalink
report
reply
18 points

Parks and Rec is such a great show.

permalink
report
parent
reply
86 points

I love how Aubrey breaks before Chris says anything past his first line

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

It’s that delay, he held the next line back. Such great comedic timing!

permalink
report
parent
reply
21 points

This was when Chris Pratt was at his peak.

permalink
report
parent
reply

Greentext

!greentext@sh.itjust.works

Create post

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you’re new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

  • Anon is often crazy.
  • Anon is often depressed.
  • Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

Community stats

  • 6.9K

    Monthly active users

  • 1.1K

    Posts

  • 27K

    Comments