Temptation

Bottomless but not topless? Eden was a wild place!

Just like Winnie the Pooh in the Hundred Acre Wood

And my house after 2am.

And those girls at the party in Harold & Kumar 2.

Maybe she has a leaf at the front like they are often depicted

The “apple” was a persimmon?

Actually, the Bible just says it’s the fruit of a tree.

It could have been an orange, pomegranate, or banana.

A nut, bit right through the shell

I bet it was a banana, bitches love warm bananas.

Let’s go with Durian.

Or jackfruit. Or jaboticaba.

Weed, they got baked and leaned the knowledge of good and evil.

“apple” used to just mean “fruit”

This is not biblically accurate. She should be naked, since she doesn’t yet have knowledge of good and evil, and god considers nudity evil, because he is a prude. But also he didn’t clothe Adam and Eve, cause he’s a perv.

My quip with the artistic choice is that they made Eve have very very long hair which could have served as breast cover. But they chose to add the inaccurate leaves…

To be fair they also didn’t have genitals since they can’t Fuck, so maybe they literally have nothing to be ashamed of.

Unrelated but they also shouldn’t have belly buttons because they weren’t born.

I don’t think that interpretation, i. e. the absent genitals, is canon.

Tell St. Augustine that.

so NOW we’re drawing the line?

today’s kids have the wildest headcanons smh

I still ship mary and god tho

…then how do they have children? where did Cain and Abel come from?

…and where did all the people that came after Cain and Abel come from? Who was their mother?

No genitals? Where did Eve’s children came from? She shat them?

I don’t know where did Eve come from?

It’s actually just for support, they’re pretty heavy

Also bellybutton shouldn’t exist on Adam and Eve.

or should it…

no, no, a birthing God entity is a gross thought, stop…

How do you think god counted them? Poke a finger in the belly.

And the bible never says the fruit was an apple

Given the era, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually a fig

It’s the garden of eden so there’s no reason to believe that it’s a fruit we have. My head canon is that it was a giant, fruit shaped flaming hot Cheeto

Probably edible bark.

And snakes don’t have human torsos.

That demon was turned to a snake after the whole fruit debacle. Jod even gave a speech on how that would be a suitable punishment.

so, something like this?

spoiler

___

According to white men can’t jump it was a quince.

The comic is obviously of a theatre reproduction of the event.

The devil was not there in Eden. The Bible simply says a serpent.

The bible says lots of stuff, like this weird erotica about two slutty concubine sisters and how much they loved cock (which was too much):

“There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”

https://biblehub.com/ezekiel/23-20.htm

Truly, Divine Inspiration was given that day to that author. Praise be to Him for sharing His weird Smut with us little people.

Isn’t that the story that ends in a brutal execution of the sisters? Because the author couldn’t think of nothing but the prostitutes that wouldn’t lay with him?

https://biblehub.com/bsb/ezekiel/23.htm

Yeah, something like that. Not really an incel-revenge, though. More like hyper-possessive misogyny. Dude “marries” a couple of prostitutes from another country. Brings them home. Very likely they aren’t super happy with the arrangement since they are inviting dudes from back home to come over. Author frames it as if they prefer their donkey sized cocks (tiny penis rage). The author has a “chat” with God and God’s prognosis of the situation is to first condemn their “infidelity” to their face and then gather a mob to do some brutal shit to the women.

The serpent is an embodiment of Satan

It’s retconned that way. There’s nothing that directly connects the serpent of Genesis, the one “roaming throughout the earth” in Job, and the character of Satan later on. Satan wasn’t developed as a character until after the Babylonian Exile. You can make it all fit, but the text alone doesn’t say that and the writers didn’t think of it that way.

Exactly, all my downvotes for stating a historical fact about a fictional book

Excellent contribution

This implies that the garden of Eden was in the US as they’re the only ones that know what pumpkin spice even is.

Her wearing a bra even before having a bite suggests that too.

was going to say, she was supposed to be naked.

Maybe 10 years ago but nowadays it’s internationally much more ubiquitous

I don’t think many places share this seasonal pumpkin obsession.

Sure they do. Marketing people will try to sell us anything they can imagine. Maybe we’ll have a Thanksgiving in Finland at some point. We already have Black Friday. Great excuse to sell more stuff.

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