The devil was not there in Eden. The Bible simply says a serpent.
It’s retconned that way. There’s nothing that directly connects the serpent of Genesis, the one “roaming throughout the earth” in Job, and the character of Satan later on. Satan wasn’t developed as a character until after the Babylonian Exile. You can make it all fit, but the text alone doesn’t say that and the writers didn’t think of it that way.
The bible says lots of stuff, like this weird erotica about two slutty concubine sisters and how much they loved cock (which was too much):
“There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”
https://biblehub.com/ezekiel/23-20.htm
Truly, Divine Inspiration was given that day to that author. Praise be to Him for sharing His weird Smut with us little people.
Isn’t that the story that ends in a brutal execution of the sisters? Because the author couldn’t think of nothing but the prostitutes that wouldn’t lay with him?
https://biblehub.com/bsb/ezekiel/23.htm
Yeah, something like that. Not really an incel-revenge, though. More like hyper-possessive misogyny. Dude “marries” a couple of prostitutes from another country. Brings them home. Very likely they aren’t super happy with the arrangement since they are inviting dudes from back home to come over. Author frames it as if they prefer their donkey sized cocks (tiny penis rage). The author has a “chat” with God and God’s prognosis of the situation is to first condemn their “infidelity” to their face and then gather a mob to do some brutal shit to the women.
This is not biblically accurate. She should be naked, since she doesn’t yet have knowledge of good and evil, and god considers nudity evil, because he is a prude. But also he didn’t clothe Adam and Eve, cause he’s a perv.
To be fair they also didn’t have genitals since they can’t Fuck, so maybe they literally have nothing to be ashamed of.
Unrelated but they also shouldn’t have belly buttons because they weren’t born.
…and where did all the people that came after Cain and Abel come from? Who was their mother?
today’s kids have the wildest headcanons smh
I still ship mary and god tho
It’s the garden of eden so there’s no reason to believe that it’s a fruit we have. My head canon is that it was a giant, fruit shaped flaming hot Cheeto
That demon was turned to a snake after the whole fruit debacle. Jod even gave a speech on how that would be a suitable punishment.
c/im85andthisisdeep
The “apple” was a persimmon?
Actually, the Bible just says it’s the fruit of a tree.
It could have been an orange, pomegranate, or banana.
This implies that the garden of Eden was in the US as they’re the only ones that know what pumpkin spice even is.
Maybe 10 years ago but nowadays it’s internationally much more ubiquitous