Anon loves proprietary tech

prepares a morning shower

HAL begs anon “please take a shower”

“I am afraid I can’t do that, Dave, not until you have taken a shower”

this was written by someone pretending they know how showers work

Written by AI, you bet?

Notice he never actually enters the shower in this story.

Wall mounted mechanical dildo obviously

Max had already turned on the shower for me, setting the water temperature right where I liked it. As I jumped into the steam-filled stall. Max switched the music over to my shower tunes playlist. I recognized the opening riffs of “Change,” by John Waite. From the Vision Quest soundtrack. Geffen Records, 1985.

Ready Player One had an AI that prepared his shower for him

setting the water temperature right where I liked it.

I have that too, it is called “having separate knobs for temperature and turning the water on and off” though I wouldn’t exactly consider it AI.

FAKE! Obviously no self-respecting Apple iPhone user would own a Windows PC. Gotta keep it all in that walled garden, baby!

Google a recent medical symptom - your smart watch already knows the gritty details

It’s always cancer.
Sore throat - cancer.
Back ache - cancer.
Tiredness, cough, loss of taste and/or smell - maybe COVID. But also, cancer.

In its defense, the symptom I googled most recently like a year and a half ago, did, in fact, turn out to be cancer.

Yes, I’m fine now. But sometimes it’s right.

Doesn’t take away the fact you should’ve asked a doctor instead of a search engine, though.

“It’s probably nothing to worry about. Or cancer.”

…But my smart watch is local sync only through FOSS alternative app. Maybe it’s a normally intelligent watch instead of a smart watch.

On that matter, why is Norton antivirus so popular? I don’t remember being prompted to install one when installing Windows, yet I’ve seen a lot of people with it.

Back in the day, Norton actually made some useful tools. They’ve been coasting on that 90s reputation for decades, though. It’s all unnecessary bloatware now.

You gave me flashbacks of the Peter Norton and John McAfee days!

Dos was so much easier to use with Norton Commander.

There’s still contracts that force anti-virus on servers and desktops so that may be their other source of revenue

Back in the day, you were pushed hard to either put McAfee or Norton on your computer when you bought one from Dell, Compaq, etc. A lot of older people still think you need to do that so it’s still pretty popular.

I always used kaspersky which I stupidly downloaded from a torrent lol. Guess it worked? I’ll never know tho.

It protected our computer perfectly :)

It just comes on cheap prebuilts or laptops. It sucks.

It comes preinstalled in a bunch of laptops.

strange, most IT professionals will tell you the only thing you need is Windows Defender and an ability to think before clicking strange download buttons

Not strange, most executives will sign a deal where another company gives them money for every laptop they sell with that company’s product preinstalled.

For real, though, I’m building a Hal9000 system for my home built on top of Home Assistant and Esphome.

What kind of hardware are you using for voice controls/voice output? Been looking to build an Ai waifu to control the lights.

I’ll have to dig through my receipts to see. The Hal project has taken a back seat to the microchip controlled pet feeding stall project.

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you’re new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

Anon loves proprietary tech(lemmy.ml)

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