2 points

What did he draw??

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2 points

The best way to win into casino is this.

Go to a casino.

Get given free drinks, drink the free drinks.

Leave. Having had some nice free drinks.

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19 points

I mean, I have a foolproof way to always come out on top at a casino, it’s a simple trick that gamblers will hate you for.

  1. Dress smart, it makes you look like an easy mark.
  2. Make sure to wear black shoes, polished to a shine, this will be important later.
  3. Own the casino.
  4. Ignore 1 and 2.
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7 points

I have heard of someone who did just this but still went bankrupt multiple times.

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74 points

A friend of mine went to Vegas once and we only got 2 texts from him in the group chat the entire time.

Day 1: I’m up!

Day 5: I’m down.

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27 points

The flight from Denver to Las Vegas is just over an hour. I was meeting some friends in Vegas for a bachelor party and texted them saying I was taking off. The conversation went like this:

Me: Flight is taking off now, will text you when I get in.

Friend: Just sat down at the blackjack table at Treasure Island. See you in a bit.

Time skip ahead to me landing.

Me: Just landed. You still at Treasure Island?

Friend: I’m down 4 grand. Went back to the hotel.

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4 points
*

Here’s the list of things I like about Vegas:

  1. Getting on the plane to leave
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68 points

I’ve been to a casino exactly one time in my life, and it was earlier this year. Went for the cheap hotel.

I did not spend any money at the casino, but I did get $15 free for being a certain demographic of new customer. I played that, won $158, cashed out and won’t ever do it again (unless I get more free money, anyway).

I’m sure what they wanted by giving me a win on the last $2 (it’s all controlled by cards, they know what my demographic is, and that people in it are likely to be depressed and on the poor side, and thus potential gambling addicts) was for me to keep playing to try to score more, but what it really did was point out dark patterns and make me wildly uncomfortable with the whole situation…

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8 points

They usually make it so you can’t cash out anything that’s less than the voucher. Or rather that the wins get counted first.

Let’s say you get $50 free, win $25. You then play for $25 and lose, the remaining $25 shown on your balance won’t be able to be cashed out.

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9 points

What’s your demographic? Middle-aged white guy?

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30 points

lol no, silly, they don’t give you free money for that. That’s just the demographic they compare everything to as a baseline :)

It obviously depends on the establishment in question, but you get free shit for being a veteran, teacher, healthcare worker, firefighter or other emergency worker, stuff like that. Or a senior probably, they get tons of free shit, too.

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7 points

What did you play to win $158?

Asking for a friend

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3 points

No. Bad!

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