106 points

Wait areBooleanEqual returns false when they are equal?

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78 points

yesn’t

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3 points

This actually made me laugh, thank you.

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10 points

That’s not even the worst part. What the fuck does a function named Compare_anything do? Does it return anything? It sounds like nothing but a side effect.

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11 points

Usually comparison functions are supposed to return an integer and are usually useful for sorting. However this one returns a bool so it’s both useless and terribly named.

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7 points

The unnecessary and confusing functions are horrible, yes, but I’d still say that the fact that they’re wrong is the “worst” part.

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3 points

That’s enough chit-chat, nerds. Back to work.

  • Management
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83 points

Don’t forget the invocation

if (CompareBooleans(a, b) == true)
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59 points

if (CompareBooleans(CompareBooleans(a, b), true))

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10 points

I don’t like this thread anymore :(

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3 points

No, no, this is actually the only correct code in the thread.

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4 points

that… actually works…

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18 points

elseif(CompareBooleans(b,a) != false)

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56 points

Management: Gee whiz, we really have no idea how to gauge productivity to decide who gets promoted. We could manage. Or, better, we could just have someone write a script that pulls info from git on how many lines of code each person has written.

Programmers:

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22 points

I promote based on lines of code removed.

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26 points

I quit based on idiotic metrics

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5 points

Ah, the idiotic idiotic metric metric.

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5 points

Which is all the easier to do when you start off with a higher number…

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2 points
*

Add heavily verbose/redundant math equations that take up multiple lines with each operation saving to a new variable, then either decrease the number of variable declarations or condense/simplify the math occasionally. Repeat with each new function. Killing two metrics at once LOC and the removal of LOC for older functions. Guaranteed promotions. lol

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4 points

I love deleting code, including my own, more than writing code. That’s a killer metric imo.

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53 points

There’s no way, that’s so insane it has layers.

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18 points

At first, I thought the shitty methods were the joke 😱😱😱

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50 points

This is code after working 16 hours

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11 points

I’d give my right hand this is a code review problem. Someone extracted a method returning true false. Then an intern came along and was told to refactor. They saw a lot of comparisons and “extracted” them.

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My coworker made an array of book to express a status. This is no doing of an intern but a much eviler force at play.

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3 points

I’ve heard of shared libraries, but this is ridiculous

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