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View all comments 56 points
Management: Gee whiz, we really have no idea how to gauge productivity to decide who gets promoted. We could manage. Or, better, we could just have someone write a script that pulls info from git on how many lines of code each person has written.
Programmers:
22 points
26 points
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Add heavily verbose/redundant math equations that take up multiple lines with each operation saving to a new variable, then either decrease the number of variable declarations or condense/simplify the math occasionally. Repeat with each new function. Killing two metrics at once LOC and the removal of LOC for older functions. Guaranteed promotions. lol
4 points