40 points

fun fact! Orcs in TES are elves.

at some point in history a group of aldmer and their leader trinamac did something boethiah (a deadric prince) was not a fan of. So trinemac got eaten, turned into a deadric prince malacath, and all his followers were turned into orsimer (proper names of all elven races all end with -mer, altmer, bosmer, dunmer), that is orcs

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32 points

Fun fact! Orcs in 40K are fungi.

That’s all

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5 points

I guess they really know how to party

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9 points
*

Just to add in some fun tidbits to this:

If you go by one of the myths, Malacath is what was left of Trinemac after digestion. He’s the Daedric version of a Golgothan, not made of shit but born from it.

His plane of Oblivion, where his followers hope to go after death, is basically Valhalla after being reduced to ash. It’s straight up called “The Ashpit” with it’s notable features being the Great Forge and The Backbone of the Ashpit, which might be Malacath’s actual spine since Oblivion planes don’t make sense when you think about it for too long.

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8 points

So, basically TES elves are half-uruk-hai then?

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7 points
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not really, but they all have the ability to piss off the wrong deadra and get cursed.

Dunmer are also changed elves, they used to be Chimer and have a similar ish skin colour to altmer. But then because their leaders (the tribunal) pissed off Azura she turned their eyes to volcanic red and skin to ash

Bosmer (probably) used to be unwilling shapeshifters until the green pact, though different in-lore historic accounts might disagree

and that leaves Altmer (from the playable races) who are technically the most direct descendants of Aldmer (the first elves). This is also in part why Thalmor exists, some Altmer see themselves as better than every other elf, and obviously better than the men or beast races. Also they want to destroy the world because they think the Aedra (the primordial spirits that used their powers to create the world and then stayed on Nirn [mortal plane] turning into mortal aldmer and men) made a mistake by staying (or were tricked into staying by Lorkhan), they think Altmer have a claim to godhood and will do anything to take it.

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7 points

No mention of the Dwemer or Falmer, eh?I know they aren’t playable races, but they are pretty important lore-wise.

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2 points

The cowards called half elves manmer instead of merman

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35 points

Warhammer 40k Orks also possess psychic abilities in large numbers. This is why they’re so awesome to me, if enough 40k Orks believe something, they will it into being. Yellow rockets make bigger explosions simply because they think it should.

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11 points

Red means fast

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29 points
*

Warhammer 40k, and especially the orcs, always seem awesome whenever someone talks about it. But it’s way too expensive of a hobby for me, and I’m someone who used to have a rather substantial pull list at the local comics shop. Also I’ve definitely heard of a few people who are a bit too unironically into the Imperium politically.

But red make thing go faster!

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12 points

I love the lore of it, but I have the same problem with the hobby. I ain’t spending 30$ on little guys I gotta paint myself, and then make a whole army of the expensive little bastards!

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7 points
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$30 per squad was 2019 prices, but that’s the mindset difference right there, the difference between having to paint them and getting to paint them.

There are armies that focus on bigger single units like Imperial/Chaos Knights but you’re still spending like $20 per 100 points in an army that should be aiming for 1000-2000 points so…

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11 points

Some people look at the imperium as the good guys because they’re human. The truth is, there are no good guys in 40k. Especially not humans.

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0 points
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…well, depending upon how you take retcons, there’s the t’au: i think they work best as a force for good doomed to fail in an uncaring universe, personifying tragic loss of innocence…

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3 points

a force of good wouldn’t castrate you

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2 points

Yeah… Or they’re slaves to the ethereal class

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4 points

If the emperor had a text to speech device was my gateway drug, it’s such a good series on YouTube. Shame it got ended by lawyers.

If you want a much more affordable approach to the tabletop game, try battlesector 40k, it’s pretty good and accessible

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20 points
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So… The lotr orcs are only “pretty orcy”?.. What exactly is this orcyness scale based on? Lotr orcs are the definitive depiction that all modern orcs are inspired by.

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40 points
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LOTR orcs are like wine. They are the original. Elegant, refined, complex.

40k orks are like hard liquor. They are distilled down to their essence.

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12 points

I did not expect such a poetic response to something I wrote while drunk at 3 am

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5 points

This also applies to Warhammer dwarfs. Truly the dwarfiest of dwarfs.

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3 points

The wording is important here. It says “pretty orky” not “pretty orcy” as in 40k Orks, not Orcs.

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9 points

Lord of the Ring Orcs don’t use war elephants, they use wargs.

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