Dude tried to rape me. Might be his worst date too because he left with multiple broken fingers and a broken nose. It could have been better for me / worse for him if the cops took it seriously, but the fact that I fought back and he wasn’t actually successful in raping me was enough for the cops to wave it away as a domestic dispute that self-resolved when I left.
That’s intense! You’d expect attempted rape to be thought of as quite a serious crime!
A first date was already not going well, and I said I needed to go. He decided that wasn’t happening. Ended up having to run away from him, literally, through a park area while wearing heels to reach my car. It was daytime and many people saw what was happening, but no one did a thing to help. But I’m sure if it hadn’t been daytime, he wouldn’t have “let me” get away after catching me. There were just too many eyes on him.
I wore comfortable shoes I can run in to all first dates after that.
I wore comfortable shoes I can run in to all first dates after that.
This absolutely breaks my heart to read. Like I as a man will probably never relate to this struggle or be able to understand it on a personal level but probably all of my woman friends would read this and either think, “hey, that’s good advice” or “yup I already do that as well as XYZ to stay safe”
Like fuck. How is it that I put exactly zero effort into not being a creepy rapey predator, and I’m not chasing women to their cars, yet at the same time every woman that I know has a story at least somewhat similar? Why does it feel almost inherently true that there will always be a subset of shitty guys that view women as their prey/right/property/conquest?
What a shit world we’re living in.
I’m sorry for rambling and I’m sorry that this is something you have to live with.
It was going okay before dude started bragging about how he went out with a lady not too long before. He wasn’t all that into her and he said she clearly wasn’t into him, but he paid for dinner and guilted her into going home with him because he “might as well get something out of paying for her.” Giant red flag at this point. I went to the bathroom, when I came back the bill was on the table. He claimed that the server had brought it as one bill, rather than separate, and pointed out that she’d drawn a heart around the total in red pen. He refused to let me pay for my portion.
The thing is, it’s standard practice for servers to ask if the bill should be together or separate here, and I’d always been asked at that particular bar. Dude wasn’t a local and clearly didn’t know that. This guy told me about how he used “but I paid so now you owe me” to coerce a woman he knew wasn’t interested into having sex with him, and then immediately tried the same bullshit on me. He had deliberately asked for a single bill while I was away from the table. I’m reasonably certain he’s the one who drew the heart on the bill too.
Needless to say, it didn’t work. He still tried to drag me off to catch the train in his direction with him and got real upset when I told him to fuck himself and bolted. I’m very glad it was an early date so it was still light out. This guy did not take kindly to being told no.
As a dude, I’m constantly gobsmacked by how many dudes are just the fucking worst when it comes to dating. Like, fellas, it really isn’t that hard to avoid being a creep.
My current partner and I are planning on getting married in the next couple of years. He’s wonderful. I don’t see this relationship ending, but if it does my best friend and I plan on throwing darts at a map until we hit somewhere we both like. We’ll get a place and become old punk grandmas together because neither of us wants to deal with dating ever again.
I had one where she obviously wasn’t actually interested and just came for the free food cause she was poor. I hung out for a bit, bought her an extra meal to go and then just left.
Maybe, but I wish it wouldn’t be considered “really nice” and instead just be called basic compassion. Compassion doesn’t seem to be common enough to be a basic thing though 😕
I don’t think manipulating someone with the guise of a relationship is very compassionate. She could at least have been upfront about it.
She was an hour and a half late. I only waited for her because she was responding to my messages, apologized for her tardiness, and said a couple times she’d be there within 20-30 minutes which led to a 90-minute wait). Once she got there, she told me that she was late because she was having some anxiety that day and went to a friend’s to smoke a bowl first. She chainsmoked on the patio, and I sat away from her because I don’t want to smell that while I’m eating. She told me about a terrible book she was writing, with the sort of stupid plot you’d get from r/writingprompts. And then she said she needed to get high again and asked me if I wanted to come to her car with her while she did. I declined and said I was gonna head home. Proceeded to promply never see her again.
Possibly from stoners? Not badmouthing weed, and I have anxiety myself so I get it, and I get that some people medicate with it for the purpose of anxiety. But holy cow man, you gotta respect a person’s time.
Even tho I always like to defend weed(since I also smoke it occasionally) I’m always confused about people whos smoke it daily and then complain about cigarettes. Like bro, you aren’t really better.
