Date was fine enough, when the girl gave me a handy like she was trying to strip me with sandpaper, that’s where things went south.
Handjobs are never worth it, and at this point in my life, if I ever received a good handjob, it would set off all my red flags alerts and alarms.
Of course, I am speaking as a straight man. I’m assuming gay men don’t have this problem, but can’t speak to that with any authority.
I’m of that option with BJs. I’ll take a handjob any day over a blowjob, especially with a little lube. Hell I’ve had a few partners that I would have preferred a handy over sex.
I had one where she obviously wasn’t actually interested and just came for the free food cause she was poor. I hung out for a bit, bought her an extra meal to go and then just left.
Maybe, but I wish it wouldn’t be considered “really nice” and instead just be called basic compassion. Compassion doesn’t seem to be common enough to be a basic thing though 😕
I don’t think manipulating someone with the guise of a relationship is very compassionate. She could at least have been upfront about it.
It was a date with the popular boy from school. I was either eight or seven while he was either seven or six, we were in a venue we chose to go to on our own without our parents. It was a whim decision because we just thought that’s what boyfriends and girlfriends did, we were barely monetarily prepared nor did we think to change out of our school uniform. Little me ruined the date by guiding its course too much and dictating when each step of the date took place before putting him in a position to pay. In hindsight I feel bad.
Went out with this girl I really liked but brought a friend too just to make it less one on one and more casual. I really liked her and thought it went well. When I drove my friend home, in conversation, he told me I could do better. It was such a stupid destructive thought. All three of us were into the arts. He was into videography, she was photography, and I was painting airbrushed graphics on motorcycles. I dated her for a little while again later and more seriously, but my life was more of a mess then and it didn’t work out. That was one of my biggest mistakes in life; not realizing my lack of emotional depth and letting other’s opinions hold sway or weight. I partition my emotions now. I’m not sure how I feel in the moment. My first reaction is likely worthless, so “I’ll have to get back to you later” - is my usual response. People who whine about how everyone is about to lose their job at work, or tell me how I should feel about others are like giant red flags telling me to avoid them as toxic. Really, in a way I do not lack emotional depth as much as that part of my inner voice speaks quietly and I need to take the time to listen to it carefully. That girl and life lesson are the same thing to me; an abstracted patch, forever holding that part of my personality. When that red flag flies in my head, she is the one waving it; holding me back; telling me to think it through.
“Sorry I’m so tired, I just got back from the abortion clinic…”
