136 points

You couldn’t make Gone With the Wind today because everyone in it has died

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30 points

Technically Correct

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11 points

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7 points

Everyone?

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1 point
Deleted by creator
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20 points
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3 points

Rip!

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12 points

This reminded me of a question I had a while ago, but maybe it is easier to search up now. What is the oldest movie with at least one actor who is still alive, and what is the newest movie where no actors are still alive.

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1 point

Use different actors?

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13 points

Since everyone in the previous one is dead, why would they take the chance?

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2 points

100% of people who live, die. Don’t live! Wait, no…

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58 points

You wouldn’t make “Back To The Future” now because it wouldn’t be the future…

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6 points

Forward to the past?

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14 points

The first movie doesn’t even go to the future, and they say ‘back to the future’ to mean returning to 1985.

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36 points

BTTF remake, traveling between 2025, 1995, and 2055, with new problems for those particular times? Marty introduces dubstep to the grunge crowd? Accidentally prevents the spread of the Internet?

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9 points

Tubes? Where we’re going, we won’t need a series of them.

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8 points

And somehow when he comes back to the present Trump was elected President. What did he do!?

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112 points

Any movie where 1 cell phone would resolve the situation. A lot of serial camper killers would get shut down pretty fast.

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76 points

Just put the camp outside of cell service. Plenty of camping in the mountains outside of cell service.

Still fully believable

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13 points

The newer phones have satellite SOS features.

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39 points

That’s not at all common yet though, it’s pretty much a gimmick in a few select phones.

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43 points

Logical solutions to problems don’t happen in many kinds of horror movies. Even the tiniest bit of common sense applied would destroy so many, cell phones or no.

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29 points

Our group of teenagers should definitely split up to search for the monster and/or serial killer!

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23 points

Rather than making a swift exit to anywhere else, we should instead hide in this building where we think the killer is

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28 points

That’s why I love Cabin in the woods. They make it a creepy movie, but also make fun of all the common horror tropes by having the haunted grounds be a very orchestrated event.

“Oh no my cell phone doesn’t work” It’s because the creepy org turned on a cell phone jammer

“Why don’t they just leave?” The creepy org blows up a shit load of tnt to make the tunnel collapse

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21 points

“Why don’t they find an alternate route out?” The creepy org put a fucking force field around the area.

That movie definitely ventured in to silly territory, but then it was quite directly a well-meaning parody of horror movies that kinda’ HAD to get a bit silly to do too much with the premise.

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10 points

It would be kinda funny for someone to make something that starts as a horror movie but then everyone acts in a sensible manner without contrived reasons for their efforts failing, resulting in the whole dangerous situation falling apart over the course of the plot until its more a sort of parody of horror movies than a proper example.

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2 points

If only Hollywood paid good writers what they’re worth.

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6 points

That’s just a normal movie

The best horror movies are the ones where all the characters act in a highly capable and intelligent way and the monster/force/whatever still keeps beating them. Like The Thing. Or Alien.

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1 point

I want a horror movie where some of the heroes are genre-savvy, Practical Guide to Evil style. I picture it starting as a horror, and shifting into a kind of heist storyline

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27 points

There are also a swath of movies that couldn’t be made because of the ubiquity of surveillance cameras.

Who did it!?! ~Checks camera~

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23 points

Jesus Christ it’s Jason Bourne

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9 points

Heh in the new Mission Impossible, it’s

Tap for spoiler

a scary computer program interfering with the audio/video feeds so you couldn’t rely on them. Pretty well done overall, not bad at least.

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7 points

Not just cellphones but every house now is equipped with a camera on the doorbell and possibly several more throughout the house. Back in the day serial killers basically just had to not be around when the police showed up and had a pretty good chance of just getting away

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2 points

scribbling notes

  • don’t be there when police arrive
  • also steal the cameras and tech
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3 points

Also disable the Internet beforehand so that the cameras don’t upload stuff to cloud storage.

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11 points

Commando. Arnold spends a good chunk of the movie stopping people from getting to a pay phone to let the bad guy know he escaped their custody

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3 points

Introduce a character that’s a teacher so sick of cellphones in their class they bought a jammer off the internet. Make that character the serial killer’s first victim.

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68 points

You couldn’t make Blazing Saddles today because Westerns aren’t nearly as popular as they once were, and so it’ll be harder for jokes to land

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4 points

What in the wide, wide world of sports is that supposed to mean?

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23 points

Also Gene Wilder hasn’t done anything for 8 years

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8 points

Dude…too soon.

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6 points

Mel Brooks did an animated movie called the Legend of Hank that was more or less a kid friendly remake of Blazing Saddled to prove he could make it today.

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3 points

…how kid friendly? Haven’t been able to introduce my kids to his stuff yet!

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2 points

It’s definitely nowhere near a PG-13

It’s basically just Blazing Saddles, only it’s about a village of cats in an Eastern Setting who are protected by a Samurai, guy wants an excuse to destroy the town, realizes that if the town kills an official Samurai he can destroy the town… So he pulls a sneaky and hires a naive dog with a desire to become a samurai to be one in a world where cats are racist against dogs.

It backfires when the dog is good at his job enough to dissuade the bigots

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2 points
*

Period Westerns aren’t much popular. However:

  • Wind River
  • Hell or High Water (<- do NOT sleep on this one!)
  • No Country for Old Men
  • Sicario

…and so on.

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2 points

Westworld

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34 points

You couldn’t make Jaws today because the ubiquity of cheap drones means the shark would be tracked continuously until it left Amity Island.

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12 points

I have to disagree. The shark spends the vast majority of its time underwater, not within viewing distance. And they didn’t tag it with any tracker.

Could they tag it with a tracker these days? Absolutely. But none of the individuals on board the Orca would likely have been funded for that, even including Hooper. He was a rich boy, but how rich could he have been if he’s hiring Quint instead of a proper crew on a research vessel?

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15 points

He was a rich boy, but how rich could he have been if he’s hiring Quint instead of a proper crew on a research vessel?

That feels very “those billionaires wouldn’t have realistically gone down on that titan submersible” to me

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2 points

Half of The Meg 2 is basically Jaws, but with Jason Statham Jason Stathaming the sharks

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