102 points
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Max is already in the library.

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58 points

Max now owns the library, and would like to make some changes.

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12 points
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Change number one: All late fees must be paid in cat treats.

Change two: All dog owners are banned from entering the library.

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23 points

Max has always been in the library.
Max will always be in the library.

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7 points

This whole thing has a very “Welcome to Nightvale” vibe to it.

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4 points
*
Deleted by creator
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19 points

Knowing my inattentive ass I would have read that sign after happily letting max into the library.

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12 points

Max is the library

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8 points

Max has always been in the library.

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2 points

Mad is behind me in the library isn’t he?

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85 points

This could honestly be a 90s kids cartoon. Every week Max has a new plan to get into the Library, with the intent of knocking books off the shelf. And every week, the mean librarian has to try to stop his plan.

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13 points

What do you want to do today, Max?

TRY TO GET IN TO THE LIBRARY!! 😼

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5 points

Ya know, I was trying to avoid the Animaniacs tie-in, because I thought it was a little TOO on the nose…but yeah, I totally imagined him in that animation style.

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10 points

Library Larry

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6 points
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Hairy Larry and the Library.

On second thought, yours still sounds more kid-friendly.

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3 points

so a kerazy cartoon, huh boss? The main character would be a cross between a cow… and a helicopter.

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79 points
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Max should not be outdoors unleashed and unsupervised.

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47 points

Yup. I know cats can do better roaming free than most pets, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe for them, and it’s certainly not safe for the local bird population.

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-2 points

Well, at least can we let Max take out that one bird in the neighborhood that divebombs everybody waiting for the bus? It’s all black with a bit of red or orange on it’s neck. I don’t mind the pigeons, or the sparrows, or the robins, or the cardinals, or the blue jays, or the crows. They can all live…but lets make that one bird go extinct.

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9 points

Probably a nest up in the corner of the bus stop. The only time I’ve ever been dive-bombed was by some swallows when they had a nest up in the corner of the house’s porch.

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2 points

That bird is doing that cause it got eggs somewhere close by. Or they already hatched. Still want to kill it?

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-4 points

not every cat hunts birds, and in rural areas it’s pretty safe for them to be outside

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9 points

You must not live in North America, because house cats are about half thr diet of coyotes in the US and Canada.

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8 points

100%. Cats are fine, but wild birds are better.

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4 points

What about seagulls?

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6 points

Gulls are dope

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0 points

Dope, gulls are.

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-1 points

Gulls are dope

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6 points

But it’s so cute how he tears apart local bird families!

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4 points

Yep you should make sure to jump out from behind a bush or tree to make sure your cat stays on its toes the entire time it’s outside.

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55 points

I used to work in the ER years ago in a small community hospital, and this neighborhood cat had figured out how the automatic doors on the ambulance ramp worked, and would slip in behind the paramedics and go curl up in the triage chair and wait for patients to come to the window to say hi. She also made rounds of the neighbouring nursing home and hospice on a regular basis.

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31 points

Sounds like it was collecting souls

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4 points

kinda what psychopomps are for, yeah.

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1 point

More like farming them.

Tend them and care for them so they grow big and strong. You only want to pluck them when they are perfectly ripe.

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47 points

Let Max in the library!

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