No licking!
This is the type of thinking that could be the next soaking or jump jumping at BYU.
I see this so often now, I can’t tell if people are honestly that dense or they’re intentionally pretending to be. In the spirit of Fry and Andy Dwyer, I’m not sure I want to know the answer.
They could also use the poophole loophole.
A tampon soaked in Vodka and inserted anally gets you drunk fast.
At least that’s what a friend told me.
Okay. I can’t tell if you’re serious, but if that’s true, how does that work medically?
Don’t liquids get absorbed through the intestines? Can you even stick something up your butt far enough to reach your intestines?
Alcohol gets absorbed by mucus membrane much faster than by going through your digestive tract. And your anus is lined with mucus membrane.
It was a craze a decade or so ago where I live, cause teenagers did that to get drunk without having their breath smell of alcohol, and some of them ended up in the ER.
cause teenagers did that to get drunk without having their breath smell of alcohol
Did they ever realize that’s not how that works?
It’s capillary action. It just rams straight into your bloodstream, no dilution or waiting to go through stomach. It’s fast and effective.
So, as it doesn’t go through the stomach, do you not puke if you’re experiencing alcohol poisoning?
Additionally to what others have said it’s also quite dangerous. You can drink a fatal amount of alcohol but your body will generally puke before it absorbs enough to kill you.
Using this method (boofing), you don’t have that defense, it’s absorbed too quickly and your body doesn’t generally shit itself to expel poison.
Are your dumps really smaller than a tampon? If they aren’t, why do you think your hole would need to be especially gaped?
I looked it up and I get it now. I assumed O.B. style tampon with no applicator, which would be difficult to insert. The info I found shows the soaking of the tampon inside the applicator, which makes a lot more sense.
I’ve heard it called God’s blind spot before but poophole loophole is a great phrase
The poophole loophole usually means something different. They say anal sex doesn’t count as “losing your virginity.” So they can have all the premarital sex they want, as long as it’s in the pooper.
What I find mad about this is that the Jesus they claim to follow (and totally not Joseph Smith who they really follow) drank wine and commanded His followers to do so
Growing up Mormon in the 80s (I got better!), they insisted to us kids that it was just grape juice, and for adults they simply put a social stigma on asking too many questions, or any uncomfortable questions.
If there is a theological principal in play it’s that they view their prophets as still able to receive Bible-level revelations, and if their non-trinitarian God committee tells Joseph Smith that wine is bad now, then wine is bad now. If human nature then results in believers feeling like sinners who need to make it up to their community and their church leaders, then oh so sad, but it can result in the Lord’s work being done.
In general Mormon theology is rather literal and childlike, only getting complicated when trying to work around some established Christian doctrine that no new book overrides (yet!). It’s almost like some provincial huckster was making it up as he went along…
Yeah, just like how black people were bad and the “children of Ham” or whatever. After the Civil Rights Movement, Morman God mysteriously changed his mind and said “black people are ok now”.
That didn’t happen until the Department of Education in the Carter administration started talking about whether students at BYU should be getting federal grants and loans, and I believe the NCAA was making some noise as well.
Paul even writes in his first epistle to Timothy (5:23)
No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments.
This was because people were getting sick from drinking plain water (as they didn’t have the same water purifying technology then) so it was common to add a bit of wine to cleanse it antibacterial. Grape juice in this context would make zero sense. Would also hark back to what Luke wrote in The Acts of the Apostles 10:9-16 regarding a vision Peter received:
The next day, as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the housetop about the sixth hour to pray. And he became hungry and wanted something to eat, but while they were preparing it, he fell into a trance and saw the heavens opened and something like a great sheet descending, being let down by its four corners upon the earth. In it were all kinds of animals and reptiles and birds of the air. And there came a voice to him: “Rise, Peter; kill and eat.” But Peter said, “By no means, Lord; for I have never eaten anything that is common or unclean.” And the voice came to him again a second time, “What God has made clean, do not call common.” This happened three times, and the thing was taken up at once to heaven.
Although, this doesn’t really work in regard to the Mormon thinking that some guy can override the Bible and that the book of Mormon overrides it. Reminds me of a video a mormon made reading through John’s gospel according to Joseph Smith or something where he adds in extra stuff through some claimed revelation/restoration. There were comments of people saying “okay but there are no evidence for these texts existing from the early church” and the guy just responded with “but Joseph smith said”
The Word of Wisdom, which outlines the health guidelines of not drinking alcohol and using tobacco, as well as eating less meat, eating more grains; was originally just as the name suggests, words of wisdom.
Joseph Smith drank wine, used tobacco, and drank coffee up to his death.
It wasn’t until the early 20th century when it started to be treated as a commandment. This is around the time when they started codifying a lot of doctrine, stopped practicing polygamy, and started to function more like a mainstream religion and less like a cult.
Source: raised Mormon, went on mission, took religion classes at BYU-Provo on church history.
I wouldn’t want to be the guy standing in front of the Throne of God and saying “But technically…”
Don’t worry there are a whole lot of jewish people that live inside a fishing line perimeter that are going to have to explain that whole racket before you get your chance to talk about soaking.
For the downvoters:
More than 200 cities around the world are partially encircled by an eruv.
Partially?
Honestly, I kinda love the whole “lawyering with God” thing that Jewish folks have going on. For any religion with restrictive beliefs, there will be adherents who will try to find loopholes. I’ve been lucky enough to have an upbringing almost completely free from religion (except for a year drinking hot chocolate at a Unitarian Universalist church, which is almost not religion), but I also grew up in a super Mormon part of Utah. I’ve spent my whole life as a bit of an outsider, seeing people pick and choose which rules to follow and try to discretely find and exploit every little loophole there is. I’ve always found the hypocrisy a bit unsettling.
I think I’d really prefer it if the Mormons took the same argumentative stance with their god. It would make the picking and choosing a bit less hypocritical (which might lead to more Mormons ditching some of their religion’s shittiest and most regressive teachings), and there’d be a lot less shitty sneaking around.
I have family in Utah and there’s a pretty common joke in this vein.
Why do you always invite two Mormons to a party?
Because if you only invite one they will drink all your beer.
Every Mormon I’ve ever met is very serious about walking the talk, alone or not. They’re probably more serious about following the rules of their religion than any other religion. Well, them and Muslims, but Mormons seem happier doing it.
They’re serious about following the rules because their entire social and community structure stresses conformity. If you break the norms of the faith there are serious repercussions and you can lose your entire family, community, and support structure. When they’re alone with others who aren’t of the faith they are definitely far more lax. I’ve drank beer and even had chocolate with Mormons before lol.
“[…] even had chocolate with Mormons […]”?
Uh. There is absolutely nothing in the Mormon Word of Wisdom that says anything about chocolate. There isn’t even anything about caffeine. The phrase used is “hot drinks”, which has been interpreted by the Mor(m)on prophets to mean specifically coffee and tea (but not herbal tea). A particularly zealous bishop or stake president might counsel against caffeine consumption, but AFAIK they aren’t going to prevent you from going to a Mormon temple if you chug a case of Red Bull and Bawls every single day.
Source: raised Mormon, was active for 25-ish years, former missionary.
In my experience, a lot of “devoutly” religious people are like this.
I grew up Independent Fundamental Baptist (westboro, but less vocally homophobic) and my dad told me a few years ago he secretly kept a stash of alcohol in the garage while he was quite aggressively teaching that the Bible expressly forbade consumption of alcohol that could get you drunk because of a long argument that basically amounts to “Paul said so.” (The proper response to that is “fuck Paul”, obv. Paul was an asshat.)
You can twist anything into anything if you try hard enough, and they’re really good at it.
Most definitely. They even go on special years long missions to talk to everyone who will listen about the walk.
While there must certainly be some devout Muslims who try their best to keep the “rules”, as I’d expect in any group, a lot of Muslims are not so different frombthe rest of us non-Muslims.
My coworker is a former Muslim who had to leave his home country due to persecution when he became a Christian. Here, he’s made Muslim friends who regularly invite him over for dinner and they serve… Pork. They say because he is not a Muslim, they respect that and don’t force him to eat halal. But why does not forcing him to eat halal equate to them eating pork?
They are genuinely his friends, but he is also their “excuse” to break halal.
LOL, that’s funny. They’re definitely making an excuse to eat pork.
The Muslims I know are pretty strict about following the commandments. Of course nobody’s perfect, but they pray 5 times per day, take their prayer rug to work, and follow their dietary restrictions. Of course I’m not around them all the time though, that’s just what I’ve seen.
The person who is the most serious about it that I know isn’t Arabic or Persian. He’s an African American living in the American South, and he’s very serious about his religion. The Muslims I know that seem the most relaxed about it are immigrants from Iran. Several of their first generation American kids are atheists.
I guess every religion old enough has such kind of loopholes. I know from Roman Catholic that there can be made up so many exceptions that the 40 days of lent before Easter books down to a few days of actually fasting. No lent if you’re travelling (commute to work counts), no lent if you have guests, and of course no lent if you are a guest somewhere else. And Sunday is exempt from lent anyways.
When I was in Dubai for work it was explained to me that while it is prohibited to drink alcohol for Muslims under normal situations, they are allowed to have alcohol as part of business meetings/dinners since they court an international audience for various business prospects which is crucial for their economic future as a county.
Supposedly, that’s why everyone has a “business”, and you always see 2 bros in white robes chillin at a restaurant having drinks for a “meeting”.
