This has been solved they are both calzones. https://cuberule.com/
I find that system inconvenient, as it does not inform me of how I should eat any given item. Classification for the purpose of classification is insufficient. However, an alternative that allows me to prepare my ustensils based on the classification is useful, and therefore I propose…
Soup, salad, and sandwich are the three states of food, and they can go through phase transitions. They are closely accompanied by spoon, fork, and knife, respectively.
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A soup is any food that requires a spoon, and thus includes soups, drinks, cereal with milk, etc. Tipping a container is merely the use of the container as a large and unwieldy spoon, a straw is similarly a spoon when its topology is combined with suction.
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A salad then is anything bite sized that can be forked, and one’s hands are little more than fleshy forks, the fingers prehensile tines. Popcorn, salads, cut up steak bites, a handful of cheerios, etc.
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A sandwich is anything that requires it to be cut in order to be consumed, and one’s incisors are merely built-in knives. A sandwich is thus the vast majority of the cube rule’s content, and only because the cube rule focuses on the physical location of the starch. This is, of course, entirely irrelevant when it comes to the consumption of food.
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To observe a phase transition, one can cut up a sandwich without consuming it, thereby turning it into a salad; can drown a salad to turn it into a soup; can freeze a soup to turn it into a sandwich, etc.
Shredded cheese is a salad.
While I think your system allows for some really odd edge cases, I like the way you think.
I mostly agree with these broad level classifications, except for sandwich. A sandwich refers to the construction (something sandwiched between something else) and also the intended method of consumption (no utensils and rarely a napkin). By your classification a 32oz steak is a sandwich, yet it must be consumed quite differently than an ice cream sandwich.
I’d change the sandwich category to be the chunk category, and have sandwiches as a subcategory of chunks and salads where the food comes surrounded by edible material that’s easy to handle without utensils.
There’s also the group of very thin soups that might deserve it’s own group, but that might just be a qualitive difference.
I don’t understand how pumpkin pie is toast, but cheesecake is a quiche. Shouldn’t they be the same whichever they are?
It’s hard to tell whether the difference is that the pumpkin pie crust is “slanted” while the cheesecake crust is vertical, or that the pumpkin pie is a single slice while a “quiche”-topology cheesecake is intended to be eaten whole.
So if I understand right, the cube rule is giving permission to eat a whole cheesecake, but not a whole pumpkin pie?
I love that under this system the popular examples of type 4 ‘sushi’ includes no sushi, unlike type 1. That and in the process of eating something can cause it to change type.
the process of eating something can cause it to change type.
Process of eating and perspective.
Beef Wellington:
To the chef: Calzone
To the diner: Sushi
I don’t think I would go that far. From a topographical point of view type 1, type 3 and type 5 are identical.
According to Salad Theory all food is salad.
I like this statement because it’s successful on two levels. You can also argue over whether “pop-tart” counts as one word or two.
It’s neither a calzone nor a ravioli. Pop tarts have pastry crusts. Calzones use a leavened crust, and ravioli have pasta crusts.
It’s the internet. People will argue with you even when you’re demonstrably right.
Salsa is fruit salad.
Nah, this is just objectively wrong. Even if you think of tomato as a fruit, what else is a fruit in typical salsa? Nothing.
Not a staple where I’m from, but aren’t there japalenos in there? Bell peppers ?
Awww shit. I dun fucked up. Apparently all peppers are fruits, botanically speaking.
Not salad, salad is something you can “toss” in a jumble, like popcorn or some kinds of hash browns.
Salsa is generally more thoroughly mixed than that, so smoothie or maybe soup.
Your kids are poorly behaved
Ramen is just anime spaghetti.
I’d argue the way that ramen noodles are made is different enough. Spaghetti is just flour, water, and salt whereas ramen noodles can have an alkaline process (kansui) among other things. Spaghetti is also one type of noodle whereas ramen is a category with a fair bit of variety.