Does therapy actually help you if you know what your problem is? Also knowing that they’re talking to you because it’s their job feels like the whole thing is a lie and a waste of time.
That’s just self sabotage talking. Knowing about a problem is step one and it’s what gets you in the door.
Just because you know you’ve got a broken pipe doesn’t mean you don’t need a plumber, just because you know your car is broken doesn’t mean you don’t need a mechanic, etc. There’s nothing wrong with someone helping you being a job. That doesn’t mean they won’t do that job.
The main point of therapy is to get you to look at your circumstances in different ways and provide you with coping skills you may not necessarily have developed. You may even be unaware of whatever current maladaptive coping mechanisms you’ve built up over years of just trying to survive. This is where outside professional perspective comes in handy.
However! That’s not to say therapy is a bulletproof process or that all therapists are good or that every therapist is a good fit for every person. I would liken it to finding your preferred barber or massage therapist or something. Sometimes you just got to try options till something works.
Yes it actually helps to talk about it and get some outside views onto the topic. Even if you know your issues and possible solutions just talking about it makes one ‘more aware’ of it.
Think of it similar when studying for a math exam. Looking at a solution and saying to yourself “ahh yes, I know that and that’s how I would also do it” is different from just trying it yourself.
And yes it’s the other person’s job but they also want to help, that’s why they chose this career. In Germany there are also a few sessions in the beginning just to check if the patient and therapist are ‘compatible’, because if the patient doesn’t feel safe then it doesn’t help as much.
Depending on the problem or rather on your model of the psyche. If you are following a depth analytical approach then you need therapy to reenact your problematic relationships or traumatic events in a healing relationship with another person to integrate them into your conscious self even if you already are fully aware of them.
Does therapy actually help you if you know what your problem is?
Yes, then you’re already steps ahead. For some people, figuring out what the problem is, already takes therapy, but it doesn’t end there. If you know, what the problem is and know how to fix it, you probably don’t need therapy. But if you know what’s wrong but can’t fix it alone, that’s what therapy is for.
Also knowing that they’re talking to you because it’s their job feels like the whole thing is a lie and a waste of time.
Only if you somehow follow the idea, that the therapist has to like you. That is not the case. It is their job and that’s okay. You’re also just talking to them because it’s their job. Why would you open up to a stranger otherwise?
I mean you should get along together somehow, but you don’t have to be friends with your therapist.
Also one might be aware of the problem but not actually understand the underlying causes.
One can be a bloody genious and still be unable to self-rationalize one’s way out of certain negative behaviours because they’re driven by things at an emotional level (fear, pleasure, habit, need for approval, low self-esteem and so on), because they became entrenched as behavioural patterns when one was too young to understand any of it (as a child or teenager - it’s not by chance that a lot of Psychology “blames” one’s parents) and because without the distancing that comes from looking at it from the outside with no interest in seeing certain things rather than others (it’s generally emotionally unpleasent to notice and admit that certain elements of one’s personality are negative) it’s extremelly hard to spot certain things which for an observant trained independent outsider are very obvious.
Also I totally agree that one shouldn’t be going into it wanting the therapist to like you: people who worry about the impression they make on the therapist are likely not being fully open and honest about themselves to him or her, which kinda defeats the point of going to theraphy (if one was 100% perfect and all qualities, why go to theraphy).
In fact, the more successfully smart you are and perceived as intelligent, the more likely it is you need therapy deeply
Yes. I knew (or at least thought I knew) what my problems were but needed help with figuring out what to do about them. Finally started seeing someone to help me with that and they did.
About it feeling fake: It’s their job to help, but I did feel the same at first and told them so. That helped them understand me better.
Most of my clients know why they are coming, it’s childhood (or other) trauma. That doesn’t mean they don’t get to have new insights on the topic. Also, while we talk, that’s not my main modality. We do EMDR and similar therapies that actually help people process the trauma. I’ve seen it change lives.
Emotional problems often require solutions that work on the emotion level. In my experience, trying to self it yourself sets you up to try to solve it with rationality. But that often does not work, because the problem is not rational in nature.
This is where a therapist helps. It helps you to solve the problem at the emotional level. That is something a person cannot do by themselves. Asking for help is way easier than trying to do it all yourself.
I personally benefit a lot from https://healthygamer.gg/ as a stopgap measure. I still needed actual therapy, but this helped me through the rough times.
I’ve been told by my therapist I have the worst case she has ever seen. Yes I’m winning it ;)
I made my therapist lose her shits, because I sat in her chair once.
The arrangement was a small table and two identical chairs on either side, with no indication who has to sit where, other than how we’d usually do it and no clear instructions.
She couldn’t handle it and couldn’t let it go weeks after that session.
Am I winning?
Username chacks out. You gave her an aunerism.
Edit: on a serious note that’s crazy. Like she should have fixed her issues
So if you lose therapy … you’re going to need therapy for that
Oh man a couple months ago I had to back off a topic because my therapist was obviously about to cry and just barely holding it together… I’m trans and was talking about my worries with how the US is going. They have trans kids and I think my concerns were hitting close to home for them. It was a difficult session for everyone x.x
In some countries it’s actually required for therapists to periodically see a therapist. To avoid getting retraumatized by their patients trauma and such
Unironically a good idea. I saw a lot of therapists as a kid, and many of them were more fucked up than I was.
I had one trying to help me “recover” memories of CSA by vividly describing her own experiences of CSA. 80% of the therapy I do now is to recover from therapy then.
I’m stuck at the tutorial boss (“how does that make you feel?”)
To this day I don’t understand this. My therapist used to ask this so many times and every time I was like:?? In my brain??? Where thoughts and feelings live???
Can someone explain?
Edit: the fact that you nice people here were able to make me understand this question and my therapist did not reinforces why I stopped going!
It’s the physical manifestation thing. It also helps you try to be more mindful of your feelings. For instance, if you normally feel anxiety in your jaw, and you find your jaw tightening again in whatever situation you find yourself in, you might see if you can slow down and think of your next steps. Why am I feeling anxious? Should I take a break?
This only really made sense to me for the emotions that I strongly felt physically, like anxiety so bad I would get tunnel vision. For smaller physical reactions, not so much.
There’s definitely some physical manifestations of your strongest emotions. Strong feelings of fear or anger trigger musclular reactions in your belly, strong feelings of anxiety or tension in your neck, love and contentment in your chest, etc.
Perhaps they were trying to find those physical connections to gauge the emotion or intensity?
I was always annoyed by this question for the same reasoning. However, as another person already said, you can sometimes feel it in some part of the body. When feeling bad, it feels like pressure in my stomach, there a a few other.such connections. Now I find it somewhat useful as part of mindfullness.
I do still get annoyed when asked this question, partly because whenever he asks the question i do not feel it anywhere, also it seems irrelevant. But the main reason is probably defiance that this seemingly stupid question of him was sensible all along. So much I had to write this response.
I think we sometimes tend to forget that our physical brain lives in a physical body, and the “abstract” thoughts and feelings we experience are very much physiological processes as well. The question aims at reminding us of this fact, drawing attention to any potential psychosomatic responses your body might exhibit to strong emotions. It is easy to repress awareness for these, so to me it makes sense for the therapist to try and dig a little deeper. They’re not doing it to annoy you, they’re trying to help you become aware of (or be more mindful of) your feelings and how they affect the physical body that is experiencing them.
unironically sat 2 hours in pure silence because there were no other inputs from both sides. so i rather just sit the silence out in isolation
I did this too! Started out as a “test” or temper tantrum, but afterwards it felt so safe he didn’t start talking, that it really was a space where I was in control.
Stupid clever therapist.
