Believe us, kid!

We had sex before marriage, and it ruined our lives!

Monopoly!

Da gibt es immer jemand der sich freut wie Schmitz Katze wenn die Person erzählen darf, dass es als Kapitalismuskritik gedacht war

England is in the football (soccer) semifinals of the eu cup, with good chances to make it to the finals (and lose there)

Edit spelling

Positive Nachrichten werden weniger verbreitet und es gibt genügend Gruppen die ein Interesse daran haben die Angst vor Geflüchteten zu schüren

The second one gets blown really out of proportion

He was told a list of people and was asked if any of them would convince him to step down

If he said yes to any of them it would mean he trusts their judgement more than his own which would be a terrible look for a president so he basically said there is nobody who shapes my decision besides myself and God (because you need christian voters)

Ich habe ne Sekunde gebraucht aber dann tat der weh…

Plot twist: they checked that nobody is called Frank Johnson and made the announcement so that the guests would feel better about themselves

I might not be happy or successful, but at least I saw a funny picture on the internet today

Counterpoint:

I can derive/make fries from potatoes and pringles from fries

Müssen wir wirklich die falsche Verwendung von Punkt der Sicht von Tick Tack übernehmen?

Wenn es deine Sichtweise ist, dann kannst du dich nicht selber sehen