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GeeDubHayduke

GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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“One dead CEO.”

“Many more to go.”

Just quoting my favorite construction equipment, please don’t ban.

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When i worked at a ski basin, I called that “working from dark to dark,” and i hate it so fucking much.

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“I love the uneducated!”

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I think it was Jack on Roster Teeth that said it best…

Everyone made their online character for GTAOnline as basically themselves, except Jack, he made a female character. They all start ripping on him and he hits them with “if I’m gonna be staring at an ass for the next 500 hours, i want it to be a girl’s ass.” I think Gavin even asked if it was too late to switch.

ETA: girls run faster in GTA, so it’s the better choice by any metric.

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Nancy “McConnell” Pelosi, still hard at work, fucking over America for personal gain.

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Hey Luxembourg, you broke it, you bought it! She’s YOUR fucking problem now! AHAHAHA!

scene

No? Still in this timeline? …fuck.

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Translation: “we didn’t think this predatory behavior would affect our bottom line, and we deeply regret that it has.”

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“Today’s show is brought to you by the number 8, because that’s the age of kids he likes, dude.”

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Full-on mask off, now. Owner class protecting owner class, nothing to see here. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Move along.

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I used to work in a pizza place, and the head cook was from Mexico working on his citizenship. He helped me with my Spanish, and I’d help him with his English. One day, we discovered that jokes was a good way to discover any loss in translations, so jokes became our preferred method of conversation.

One day he said he’s got a great joke, but he’s not sure if it’ll work in English, so he’s asks to tell me if it works. I tell him to hit me. The joke:

A guy and his girlfriend have been together long enough to move in with each other. Being a new(ish) couple, they’re still pretty frisky. Every time they’re finished and basking in the after glow, she plays with his junk, just gently kneading the balls in their sack. After a few months, he asks her why does she always play with his balls afterwards. She looks him dead in the eye with a Mona Lisa smile, gently kisses his lips and whispers in his ear “because i miss mine.”

He asked if the joke works in English. When i quit laughing, i said it does. That was 2006, and it’s still one of my favorite jokes to this day.

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