71 points

So I’m the only one having weird posthumanist body horror type feelings at the concept of being given an instruction manual for your artificial body parts, including the equivalent of a void warranty sticker?

Just me? Cool, cool. Quietly unlocking new phobias over here.

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46 points
*

Not sure if this is always an issue or just during some recovery period but I can see how it would be important not to stress the fragile ligaments and other issues post op until the proper time.

Looked it up. Seems to be post op instructions about recovery restrictions

https://www.aoaortho.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Hip-Replacement-Protocol.pdf

https://www.physio-pedia.com/Hip_Precautions

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11 points

Yeah, the content itself makes perfect sense, I think what got me was the airplane security leaflet pictures. Makes it seem like you pulled your hip from a vaguely disappointing Amazon cardboard box along with a cheap gadget.

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17 points

Once I understood the weakness of my flesh…

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6 points

… I craved the strength and certainty of steel …

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4 points

… I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine …

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4 points

including the equivalent of a void warranty sticker?

. . .

I hate this dystopia.

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8 points

Hello, we are calling about your hip’s extended warranty. Press 1 to be connected to a hipologist and remedy this issue. Press 2 to die. Ending this call will assume option 2. Option 1 is also option 2 but with a slightly longer buffer time. Too late, you are now dead. click

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5 points

You’re not cool enough, so you need a visit to the hipologist.

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3 points

Fuck that, imma install Linux on my hip

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1 point

By the time you get to the point when this might become a certainty in your life, you will be so miserable those phobias will be a distant memory.

Source: seeing my dad suffer before his surgery

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33 points

Yeah I had hip surgery in March and these restrictions sucked. They were important but soooo hard to comply with, especially with sleeping. But even harder was not being able to lean forward while sitting - I could have no less than 90° between my legs and my trunk.

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17 points

Oh god, I could never. My sitting positions are all over the place. It would just happen by accident, while I’m focused on work or smth.

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1 point

Haha are you me? My sitting and sleeping styles are chaotic!

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3 points

That sucks, hope everything is fine now. How long did you have to pay attention to these things? And how is it later, can you play sports, run?

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8 points

I had to really watch these positional restrictions for the first four weeks. After that I could ease back into a more full range of motion, but only to my comfort level (in other words, I couldn’t push anything and had to take it slooooowly). No running or jumping for the first 12 weeks. But now I can pretty much do anything I want. I do still have pain sometimes if I sleep in a weird position or if I go too hard in the gym, but more or less I’m back to normal. Certainly I’m better than before surgery!

My problem was called a femoroacetabular impingement, which is a congenital overgrowth of bone at the neck of the femur. It limited my range of motion (e.g., squatting was difficult) and led to a torn labrum (hip cartilage). The surgery was to sew the labrum back together and pin it down, and shave down the bone overgrowth. They did it all arthroscopically. I’m really glad I had it done, even though recovery was frustrating!

I talked a little more about recovery here if you’re interested.

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2 points

Oh my god… My mum would be pleased for me at least.

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20 points

They really just revoke your gay card for 3 months when they put you under for hip surgery

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16 points

Are these temporary restrictions, or permanent? What happens if I cross my legs?

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6 points

Oh you don’t want to know! It is horrible!

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11 points

Your insides will boil out of your eye sockets like a science fair volcano.

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4 points
*

So far nothing with mine after the 2nd year. Some say it takes 5 years get back 90% but i think thats a little pessimistic

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4 points

Was yours a total hip replacement?

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-3 points

Thats what thr means.

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14 points

My mother’s housemate is getting a hip replacement soon. I’m sending this to her. She’ll get a kick out of it (no pun intended).

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5 points

Please don’t let her kick.

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3 points

She won’t be able to for quite some time because she just got a knee replacement! When I drove over to the town where my mother lives (for other reasons) I came by to pick up something for my daughter and my mom met me outside and told me her housemate was in so much pain that she hadn’t slept all night and had finally fallen asleep. This was around 3 pm. I feel bad for the lady and I’m now wondering if she’s going to go through with the hip replacement if the knee replacement has been this hard on her. She’s in her 70s and her mother is still alive in her 90s, so hopefully she’s got a lot of years to go. I hope it all helps.

Crazy part: She lives upstairs and my mom lives downstairs. They agreed to not change bedrooms. The housemate is planning on getting up and down the stairs sitting down.

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