I tried chatting on some of the recommended apps on Reddit and I can confirm that none of them work.
Which bring me to the following question: How do you find people who are interested in long-term relationships online?
Note: Please donât suggest looking in the real life.
Guilds in MMOs
Just when the guild splinters in two because a clique will fix all the problems with the old guild, always go with the new folk, they will appreciate your loyalty. At least until yâall invariably splinter again, but then youâll get new appreciation!
Met my partner in a MUD, kind of a text-based pre-MMO. He was tank, I was healer, it was meant to be.
In general, talking with people who are doing a thing you are interested in too. The way I see it, maybe 10% of people are âfriendâ potential, 1% âgood friendâ potential, and .1% partner potential. Youâll want to look in populations where you have something in common with the people, and thus the odds a bit higher.
Holy shit other people mentioning a MUD. Not something i expected to hear today
This isnât so easy although it does happen. Most people arenât meant to be in your life long-term IMHO and this typically isnât the expectation that others will have when talking to randoms online. I met my wife on a porn site, although I wouldnât recommend attempting to execute such a strategy for example. I recommend online activities that encourage interacting with a small group ofpeople on a consistent basis, such as a DND group, rolepaying, or perhaps writing short stories where you get the chance to know each other better while enjoying an activity that already makes you happy if you can find one.
I met my wife on a porn site
You cant leave us hanging like this, should they make it into a Hallmark movie ? Performer? was she a performer or were you, both ? Or both just fellow connisuers?
Sorry! No, weâre not performers nor especially attractive. In the interest of keeping it family-friendly we have a special interest and we connected because we were both fans of the same performer who is associated with and known for that special interest content that not many people like to enjoy. We are also avid writers so we wrote stories based on that special interest, and then we ended up getting to know each other through that writing. Writing is how we expressed those feelings that we canât share with other people who donât understand us as easily. After about a year of hanging out virtually I took a week off work and came to visit.
I gotta say, thatâs really sweet.
Even if itâs because of some 11/10 degen shit that kicked it off. Maybe especially because of it.
âIf it werenât for my horse, I wouldnât have spent that year in college.â
Memes and shit posting is how most of my online friends say together.
Every personâs view is different, and thereâs no sure-fire way to make a friendship happen. Anyone who tells you there is, is either lying or has a lot of power or money that attracts âyes menâ. Other genders are available.
So, as with anyone elseâs experience, my advice is purely anecdotal - and itâs basically âdonât be a dickâ.
Thatâs an incredibly reductive soundbite, but in short, I try and be decent to other people and encourage people to be cool with me. No ego, no perceived power dynamic, just chill - for the duration of whatever weâre doing. It could be playing online, a videoconference for work, an academic meeting, and project team - whatever. As another poster said, the vast majority of time I donât go into interactions looking to come out with a new best friend or a new romantic partner - partly because the former makes you come across as insincere, and mainly because my partner would have something to say about the latter.
Of a hundred interactions or meetings or encounters maybe one will start firing on all cylinders from the get-go, and youâll find that you share loads in common, theyâve got a similar sense of humour, or even you may be mutually attracted to them from their video feeds - whatever. For the most part, Iâm sad to see people Iâve met leave at the end of a project, an academic grouping, or a game sesh - but I didnât click with them enough to actively want to see them again.
That one-in-a-hundred may develop into a âhey, I play this other game/with another groupâ or âman you know your shit, we should stay in touchâ or âjeez I could learn a lot from you, fancy swapping details?â - and it may well be that youâve read it all wrong and they think youâre a bellend. It is what it is, itâs their call and it takes two to tango.
If the planets align though, youâll get a good friend, a romantic partner, a decent teammate or a brilliant colleague that lasts for years.
In short, if youâre pretty sound and go in with the best of intentions, giving everyone* the time of day, then youâll at the very least make the best of whatever situation youâre thrown in (voluntary or otherwise), and at best youâll find someone equally awesome and itâll run from there.
Either way, good luck. I hope you find someone to play with/enjoy their company/chat shit to soon.
*does not include obvious cockwombles of course. The definition of which is left as an exercise for the reader.
