116 points
*

I sympathize with the bottom part so much. My parents absolutely refused to cook anything ever and bought the worst, most unhealthy prepackaged foods from the grocery stores. I spent the first years of my life thinking that things like apples just weren’t sold at my local Kroger because we never had them. I felt like shit mentally and physically for pretty much the first 18 years of my life because of it.

I grew up, moved out, and holy shit I love eating “rabbit food,” as my dad used to call it and I never would have learned before is that cooking is fun

permalink
report
reply
12 points

Rabbit food? What the fuck

permalink
report
parent
reply
11 points

I’ve heard it be said from many men that I knew growing up that the more processed food is, the better, because it kills all the germs that come out of the ground. I’ve not seen that man eat anything green that wasn’t on top of a fast food cheeseburger in all my years alive.

permalink
report
parent
reply
40 points

Some dudes live their whole lives afraid their balls will fall off and roll away if they eat anything but brown meat.

permalink
report
parent
reply
13 points

Hey, c’mon, there’s all kinds of dudes that love going to town on some brown meat.

permalink
report
parent
reply
29 points

In the 90s people started suggesting eating veggies occasionally and the American populace reacted predictably, i.e. as if someone were threatening to literally emasculate them.

Kind of like the modern anti-vax/anti-mask freaks.

permalink
report
parent
reply
18 points

Fellas, is it gay to eat healthy?

permalink
report
parent
reply
160 points

Did you to wish you could fuck your friends mom‽

permalink
report
parent
reply
116 points

Yes but that was irrelevant because she never cooked for me, she was just hot. Still is, in fact.

We always joke that he has a Wine Mom. He thinks that we’re calling her a drunk. It means that she gets better with age.

permalink
report
parent
reply
18 points

Relevant username if I ever saw one

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Man I was tormented with that crap as a kid. “HOLY CRAP YOUR SISTER IS HOT!!! That’s your mommmmmm? Whoa!”

Same crap with my sister.

I see them both as living farts.

permalink
report
parent
reply
14 points

We all did. The hot moms anyway. The big milfy moms, I just wanted them to make me some food.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

What did you think milf stands for?

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

Love the interrobang.

permalink
report
parent
reply
20 points

I feel you. I weirdly did have vegetables and things growing up, but my mom self admittedly hates cooking. So most of what we ate consisted of casseroles made up of things dumped out of a can and any veggies likely also came from a can and we’re heated up on the stove. She also over cooked all the meat to make sure people wouldn’t get sick. So all the veggies were bland and mushy and all the meat was dry as fuck. I’ll never forget the first time I ate fresh pineapple at my inlaws house and it was one of the best things I ever tasted. I’m pretty good at cooking now and I’ve managed to help my mom improve in all ways as well. She now uses a meat thermometer that I got her for Christmas. I cooked her some fresh broccoli in a pan with salt, pepper, and garlic powder and she loved it and started making hers that way instead of boiling it. Baby steps, but we’re making progress.

permalink
report
parent
reply
24 points

Broccoli and cheese is awesome. Other preparations like steamed are not as delicious, but ymmv.

permalink
report
reply
29 points
*

Steamed broccoli + garlic salt, just dont overdo the brocc until it’s mushy

permalink
report
parent
reply
24 points

I think that’s where the reputation comes from. Overcooked broccoli is inedible, and I know people who refuse to leave any bite to it at all, which seems insane.

I feel like crunchy, fresh broccoli is a relatively new trend. I found out about it on my own, at my place as a kid it always looked like green boogers and tasted the way you imagine that would.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

My mom used to have a microwave cookbook and would make most veggies in the microwave oven. This cemented my love for crunchy cooked vegetables. I can’t eat green beans in a restaurant because most of the time they are almost the consistency of porridge.

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

I think it used to have to be cooked to hell because in the past it legitimately didn’t taste as good as it does now. Selective breeding has taken a lot of bitterness out of many vegetables.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

That and canned veggies. Don’t know if it’s because we were low income or if produce was just a lot more expensive back in the 80s and 90s. But, I remember eating a shit ton of canned “mixed vegetables” at my house and at friends houses.

My mom was a good cook, but I feel like we didn’t get a lot of fresh veggies unless we were living on a military base where the groceries were subsidized.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Steamed is my default method of cooking broccoli.

I cut the stalk up for soup and pasta. Then I lightly steam the florets and I like it.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

In almost all cases, I frankly detest steamed vegetables. Probably due to my grandmother steaming the absolute piss out of ANY vegetable when we visited. My mother didn’t overcook them nearly as bad, but to this day I just don’t enjoy the flavor of any vegetable steamed nearly as much as I do roasted in the oven. High heat + short time + delicious, crisp, lightly charred goodness

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points
6 points

Steamed broccoli with a little soy sauce & Sriracha is one of my absolute favorite snacks. Cauliflower, too. I’m gonna go make some.

permalink
report
parent
reply
63 points

Broccoli is so good it makes me horny too. I fucking love broccoli.

permalink
report
reply
40 points

But, do you love fucking broccoli?

permalink
report
parent
reply
37 points

What happens at the farmers market stays at the farmers market

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

Never was a statement more false than this one.

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

I’m not kink shaming but if you fuck the broccoli you better not leave it at the farmers market. You take that shit home with you afterwards.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

It was, “I, fucking, love broccoli.”

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Nice to read about a person that so appreciated the kindness of another that they were willing to extend a kindness to them

permalink
report
reply
36 points

Fun Fact, if broccoli kinda tastes like soap to you, congratulations! You have a gene variation that makes certain bitter flavors taste like soap, it’s stronger in childhood (which is potentially why “Kids hate broccoli” trope is a thing) and tends to fade into adulthood, but not always.

There are also studies being done to figure out specifically which compounds in broccoli make it taste like that to cultivate it out to encourage more broccoli consumption

permalink
report
reply
10 points

Glad to see some scientific stuff under a “I would fuck his mom for serving broccoli” content.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Are you saying that I might stop hating coriander when I retire? But I really like broccoli, so maybe it’s a different kind of soap gene…

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

I hate having this gene variant, so many things taste bad. People judge you, it’s hard to order at restaurants, etc.

permalink
report
parent
reply

Lemmy Shitpost

!lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Create post

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

Community stats

  • 14K

    Monthly active users

  • 7.1K

    Posts

  • 95K

    Comments