Empathy is a hell of a drug.
Lol, probably is.
I asked my wife if she thought I was autistic. She was surprised at the question because she specifically sought an autistic spouse and had been operating under the assumption for no less than five years.
Sheās a very unique person and thought it would help her prospective spouse understand her needs. She has neurodivergent tendencies.
Glad that worked out for her. Has she ever been interesting in seeing if its just tendencies? That sounds like she might be autistic herself to me
We met on an adult literature/fanfiction website, so sorry but I canāt help you there! I suck at dating, she hates dating, and we both have little patience especially with people. Weāre basically hermits.
I only just realized in this very second that the acronym of āfake and gayā isā¦ well itās also gay
I can relate.
At work, Iāve worked with a LOT of autistic people. We had about twenty on staff over the years, all over the spectrum.
People always say how working with autistic people can be difficult and that there might be challenges. Thereās even training on āhow to work with autistic peopleā. But I found quite the opposite - autistic people are a joy to work with for me. We can talk for ages about interesting things, but we can also enjoy a bit of quiet time.
Maybe itās because Iām an introvert, but I find dealing with the ānormalā people at work much more exhausting. Working with the autistic people is a breeze. Most of the things you read about as āchallengesā make perfect sense to me. As a result, we run a VERY productive department.
So either Iām autistic, or autistic-adjacent enough to where I donāt see challenges, but just people.
Iām in my early 40ās so a diagnosis wouldnāt really change things for me anyway. But my sister who works as a psychologist basically told me that Iāve got enough traits of it that she wouldnāt be surprised if I was autistic myself.
Same here, similar age.
When i got diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago, ny psychologist mentioned that Iām probably on the spectrum as well, but that getting an official diagnosis wouldnāt really help anything and she wasnāt sure I would even get one.
But having the realisation really opened my eyes though, I now understand better why certain situations always made me irritable and made me have much more peace with my own limitations.
I always knew I was a bit āoffā, and knowing Iām on the spectrum kind of felt like the last pieces of the puzzle fell in place.
Some people definitely can benefit from a diagnosis, even later in life. Especially if itās the missing āpiece of the puzzleā like you mentioned.
For me, the things that might feed into a specific diagnosis also are justā¦ the way I am. Itās not like Iām suddenly going to work on them because now thereās a label attached. Theyāre the quirks that make me, me.
I grew up in an era where autism basically didnāt exist. You just were a bit - or a lot - weird. And you had to conform or deal with it on your own. Nobody was āon the spectrumā when I attended school. So I wouldnāt be surprised if there were a lot of adults out there who have missing puzzle pieces.
I think those training videos are more for workplaces like mine where they fired my old boss for accommodating me too much
Thatās gotta suck. At least in my job, our company owner has a daughter with severe autism so heās very understanding of the specific needs of people who work there and are on the spectrum. We do probably accommodate a bit too much in some things, but if it keeps people happy and productive, I donāt see that as a bad thing.
Iām the exact same way. I had several roommates in college, and my favorite announced on the first day that they had aspergers, and asked us to help out in processing social interactions. That was by far my favorite roommate at college, probably because Iām quite introverted and we shared interests.
Likewise, one of my best friends in high school was visibly autistic, with very focused hobbies in collectible card games, WWII history, and political science (theory, not candidates). They went through a period of depression likely triggered by separation anxiety when moving away from home, and now theyāre a therapist working with similar people.
Each of those were very good at getting things done (far more reliable than me), and they were super interesting to talk to in their areas of interest. I wish we had more people on the spectrum at work, because my management style is very compatible with that (very low-touch, unless youāre actively lying to me).
The roommate and friend sound awesome. Iāve been the āemotional support normieā for a few people on the spectrum over the years. Some do appreciate a bit of handholding in certain situations and Iām happy to oblige. And all love having someone to talk to about specific interests, who wonāt slow them down or cut them off.
I also LOVE what I like to call ārandom autistic encountersā.
I like movies for example. I see about three per week at my local theatre, always the early, nearly empty showtimes. Movies are a solo activity for me; something I get to enjoy without it sapping my energy.
Turns out, the almost empty showings also tend to attract autistic people as theyāre not as taxing. So the past year, Iāve sat next to a few regulars whoāve struck up post-movie conversations with me after theyād seen me a few times. Iām apparently a very welcoming person to talk to.
They know we share at least movies as an interest, so theyāll walk up and start a conversation about that. But after about 10 minutes, weāre talking about stuff ranging from video games to anime, ancient Roman history, board games, obscure 1990ās German railway trivia or whatever else they or I might be into. And after half an hour of chatting with this complete stranger, theyāll casually mention āIām autisticā¦ā
Usually my reply is āwell duh, thatās obviousā. Iāll explain that I work with autistic people and that I can pretty much spot one on sight by now :D
Itās always fascinating how people think autistic people are quiet or donāt like talking. Theyāll happily talk your ear off for an hour straight if you actually engage with them. Iāve met some wildly interesting folks that way.
As to work: we have a very structured workplace with a very set routine, fixed deadlines, that sort of thing. The people weāve had really thrive in our line of work. As long as the work gets done on time, they get a LOT of freedom in how they do it. Weāre very much hands-off management.
We actually actively hire people on the spectrum for our department through a job placement program. Weāre such a good fit for them, they really flourish at our company and leave with more confidence. Weāre willing to work with their specific challenges, as theyāre overall awesome employees.
Itās extremely likely youāre on the spectrum. Neurotypicals who do well with neurodivergents usually have to make an effort to do so.
Thatās definitely something that Iāve noticed in other colleagues outside of our department - they tend to see us as ādifferentā, based on some of the talk Iāve picked up over the years.
Weāre generally a more introverted, quiet writing department. Which is a stark contrast to the extroverted, loud sales department. To us, they are quite different as wellā¦
Weāre generally on friendly terms between departments, but outside of purely necessary work interactions, neither group would choose to voluntarily hang out with the other outside of work. I usually try to bridge that gap a bit, but that too takes a bit of effort on my part.
Still, it doesnāt really matter if Iām on the spectrum or not. Itās not going to really change my outlook on work or life in general.