Obviously fake and gay as fuck.
However, thereâs a lot of men that have never felt safe enough to do that with anyone. As we need it, badly, sometimes.
Yeah, youâre missing the meme of it all.
While it may seem counterintuitive, the 4chan meme of any post being gay helps. If everything is gay, thereâs nothing wrong with gay at all. Besides, have you got any close friends under about 30? The entire usage of gay as an insult has essentially disappeared because itâs been reclaimed by young gay folks. Theyâve successfully taken it and made it a positive thing.
Back maybe ten, fifteen years ago, what were then gay kids started using it in an ironic way. Theyâd be gaming or whatever, and someone would do something cool, and another would say, thatâs great, but youâre totally gay. Back and forth like that.
Having grown up in an era where it was commonly an insult to be called gay, then seeing gay people gain access to their rights as fellow citizens, and then take old slurs and strip them of much or all of their power, itâs beautiful. There was a time I would have made the same assumption you did. Iâd have jumped all over someone saying the same thing.
But now? Itâs a celebration of gayness. Itâs saying that everything is gay, and thatâs fabulous as fuck. Gay isnât just okay, itâs a thing we accept as commonplace.
When I use it in the context of greentext, itâs recognizing that the assholes of 4chan lost. They didnât get to keep the word and use it as a bad thing. It got taken from the bigots after lifetimes of use as a word of oppression, and thatâs such a victory that it deserves celebrating by using it in this way.
Seriously, if you get a chance to hang around some younger LGBTQ people, take it. Theyâre the generations raised where being âgayâ isnât some horrible secret, it isnât a doom of shame that you have to hide at all times. You sit around, or go shooting with, or whatever, and these folks are just casual about it. Hell, Iâve run into groups that are using fĂg the same way here and there. Not as common for sure, but it happens.
Obviously, if the context is such that itâs being used as a slur, or even just derogatorily, the person doing so is an asshole. But thatâs the key, they arenât the ones with the power over the word now! The assholes and bigots are the ones that are treated with contempt and derision when they use the word. It really is fucking glorious, beautiful to see.
Man, I used to bounce at a drag club. I had to literally fight to keep the patrons safe from direct physical attack. Seeing the word gay become a term of endearment? I canât describe how happy that makes me. I hear my kidâs gay friends laughing and throwing it around at school, openly and nobody bats an eye because the power of it too be used as a weapon is finally gone. It fills me with joy to have lived long enough to see it happen. Iâm typing this and crying thinking about it.
Theyâre gay, Iâm gay, youâre gay, everyone is gay, and itâs fucking amazing :)
It would be very nice if we could not copy literal 4chan behavior here though, not even ironically.
Can confirm, lived my life as a guy 20yrs online, 30irl. Almost cried the first time someone held me. Wasnât even romantic, just platonic. I swear half of the worldâs problems would be solved if people were more accepting of men sharing physical affection.
Ainât that the damn truth.
Iâve always been lucky to have partners and friends that were awesome about physical comfort and affection. But thereâs been times they werenât available, and itâs the worst damn feeling to need that damn hug when youâre falling apart, and not having it.
Itâs why Iâll never, ever turn my back on someone needing it, even if I donât like them. Some things are just too damn important to hold back.
I cried the first time a gf was nice to me regularly.
I had some fucked up relationships. Iâm doing good now though.
Feeling lonely sucks, but man, whenever Iâm listening to some people talk about past relationships theyâve been in, I end up feeling happy it hasnât happened yet.
I blame my parents. They have such an amazing mutually respectful, supportive and loving marriage that it has set an impossible standard for me to realize.
I wish media depicted more healthy relationships.
Half of people donât seem to even have an idea of what mundane everyday loving behaviour actually looks like. And the other half does know, but fetishise unhealthy bullshit. (TBH I do too, but I want to engage in it playfully, not full on I will now proceed to straight up destroy you emotionally that Iâve run into with some people. )
I wish media depicted more healthy relationships.
And when they do they often portray them as effortless âfound my soulmateâ kind of relationships which is not how the real world works. Even if you have an amazing partner you need to put in effort to be an amazing partner to them yourself.
My parents are the complete opposite of yours and I always felt like I had no role model to imitate. The thing is, you have to find your own way. And the one thing all parents need to teach their kids is independent thinking. Unfortunately, that also makes them harder to control, so many parents work actively against that.
No one and probably wonât any time soon for a plethora of reasons. When I hooked up with a guy for the first time he really made me feel attractive and wanted and I almost broke down too. Terrible self-esteem and being starved for affection is a rough time.
As a level 1 autistic man, Iâm a magnet for toxic women. Itâs like they hunt for guys like me. It takes me a really long time around a woman before I drop my guard.
Maaaaate same. There was this one girl I dated whom Iâve told I just donât feel like doing what she felt like doing that night and she said âAlright, we can just watch some more eps of <show we were watching>â and I broke down right there and then.
I ended up forcing my own options on her which isnât healthy in itself but we could and can talk about this and itâs so weird.
Honestly, itâs the only thing I miss as middle aged single dad not dating. Someone to rub my hair while I cry in their lap. Nobodyâs taken care of me in decades. Iâve got a lot to cry about. Kinda sucks. Anyway⌠Back to manning up and working to exhaustion another few decades.
Fwiw, even if you donât have access to a good comfort companion, you deserve it.
Thanks! We just lost our only free roaming pet so when the kid is away itâs even emptier. I used to put my head on our catâs furry belly as she purred and stretched, laid her chin on my arm it hand to keep me there. She always knew⌠Saunter from across the house, hop on the bed, start kneading, settle in for a cuddle⌠like she could hear my pulse and breathing change in her sleep several rooms away. Having said that, writing this response to your comment made me realize maybe Iâve been reaching out to start dating bc without the kitty crutch, Iâm feeling I need that satisfaction from an actual human? đ¤ˇ
Fake: Anon is in a loving relationship. Gay: Anon never states that they are a woman.
This is why you should always ugly cry on the first date, to establish whether theyâre gf material.
Pick Up Parkour Artist⌠The most convoluted way to get into her/his pants.
Itâs not her pants Iâm aiming for, damn you, itâs empathy and headpats! Canât a man crave headpats from a pretty girl? đ
I lost a partner doing that. Like flipping a switch, any interest in me was gone. Was struggling with depression, we knew eachother for a very long time, even dated in the past. Oh well.
I wouldnât call it that. In the end, you arenât responsible for what you like or dislike. And once you find someones âickâ that you canât deal with, itâs hard to get over it. I have a bunch of those - racism, unwilingness to learn, regular smoking. Theirs was just âman cryingâ. Also, there is crying and then there is holding in emotions and exploding. Sadly, Iâm guilty of the latter. I donât really blame them, rather I feel disappointed more than anything.
Tons of southern women would literally lose their entire identity if their patriarchy disappeared tomorrow
Fucking same, had just lost a mother figure my grand mother who I grow up with, never dealt with loss and had other things come into my life that exacerbated the situation. Anyway my ex split with me.
Sucked as I was there throughout her losses. Silver lining she was an enabler who had me drinking more, not working out. and now I am healthier inside and out, taken on therapy which has allowed me to face my demons.
Quote from my ex: âI like you more when you drank.â
Wish me luck. My grandmother died last year. Lived with her for more years than i didnt. Spent the last 10 years watching her slip into the madness of dementia and alzhemiers not knowing what the hell im doing while her retired children enjoyed their retirement largely being absent. I had my younger brother with me thankfully, but we didnt know what the hell we were doing but we did our best.
My uncles put the house up for sale as quick as they could and forced us to move out inside a couple of months while we both had significant events at work that was causing us both to work overtime daily, and i work 6 days a week most weeks. I make 27 dollars now an hour, dont get paid overtime.
Therea tons of other things as well, but the closest thing to a father ive ever had threw me and my brother away after leaving the care of their own mother in our completely untrained hands for over a decade.
I understand blood feuds in a way i never thought possible on such a personal level
My exwife of 18 years dumped me when I went into a period of depression, fueled by the death of my father and a business failure. As soon as I ceased to be the rock, I became value less.
I had been there for her for two serious bouts of depression.
I have heard of similar things from friends. Men are not allowed to show weakness. Remember men were not supposed to cry until recently.
Sorry, that honestly really sucks of them.
Allowing oneself to be vulnerable is one of the greater signs of trust I can think of.
Whenever someone in my life opens up or shows vulnerability, Iâm mostly honored that they trusted me enough.
Especially someone youâve known a while.
I hope you find someone in life where you can be open without strict roles and expectations.
Itâs happened to me twice. Shit sucks. I guess you could say if they lose interest for crying in front of them theyâre not good for you but I donât exactly have women lining up to date me. If Iâd known ahead of time Iâd have kept my emotions to myself.
Yeah, but thatâd be living a lie and hiding your emotions. Which is less healthy than being single. Meeting someone that likes you is something that can be done conciously rather easily with the right steps - but it does require a strong will, a lot of human interaction and a bunch of time. It also requires investing in yourself - living healthy, happy and mindful.
Masking to keep a relationship is not worth it. It makes you miserable and eventually you lose sight of who you are and just become the person you think others want you to be and feel empty inside. Or worse, it leads to self hatred and you end up lashing out at people.
Source: helping my partners overcome both sides of thisâŚ
Wait, woman on 4chan? Impossible.
Gay until proven otherwise, and thereâs no reason to believe this is straight.