I don’t want to be some white collar stiff. I don’t want to work in a place with ties. I don’t want to be a tie guy. I don’t wear them to weddings, because that’s not me.
Nothing against tie people. It’s just not me.
Pressed shirts, suit jackets and ties are for white collar criminals.
Like, the uniform of a burglar is black pants, a black and white striped shirt, a 5 o’clock shadow, domino mask, wool cap and a big brown sack with a $ painted on it slung over his back. The man who says “just let the power plant leak” or “we’ll keep using lead pipes” or “it’ll cost more to recall the cars than the wrongful death lawsuits” or “All employees will be subject to regular drug screenings provided exclusively by My Brother In Law’s Drug Test Company” wears a suit and tie.
Story time!
Years ago I had a client who owned a big car dealership. Really good guy and a straight shooter. His son, who is roughly my age, was the GM.
Anyway, I was wearing a suit and tie because I was on my way to a funeral but I had to stop by the dealership on the way. Stopped by the GM’s office to say “hi” really quick. He looks at me and get this concerned expression on his face before saying, “You didn’t let dad see you like that did you?”
I told him I hadn’t seen his dad and asked why?
He says, “You need to ditch the tie ASAP. He’s not going to like that at all. One time, a couple reps from [auto manufacturer] came by all suited up. They sat down in Dad’s office and without saying a word, he grabbed some scissors and lopped both of their neck ties off. He hates ties. Says it makes you look like you think you’re better than your customers.”
Knowing his dad, I honestly believed the story. But, if I had any doubts they were eliminated some time later. I was leaving the dealership one day when two reps from [auto manufacturer] pulled into the parking lot, got out of the car, took off their jackets and ties and left them in the car before going in.
I have to look up how to tie any fancy knots like an Edritch Knot, or a Trinity. I could probably tie a full Windsor or Half Windsor in my sleep, despite the fact that I have only had a few dozen reasons to wear a tie in 44 years.
I don’t use Windsor knots around my neck anymore, since I found out that the Edritch and Trinity knots exist.
I got a bow tie a few years back and my neckties are now hanging unused. They are just as tricky to tie, but they don’t get into everything when you lean over.
I went to Catholic school.
