24 points

Wtf? Is this someone’s experience?

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68 points

I can’t speak to the ones about holding babies because I try to generally avoid that, but I’m a black woman, and I feel these to the depths of my soul.

I remember some girl in college literally asking me “Oh, are you from a broken home?” It took me a minute to even understand the question.

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-7 points

USA privilege, probably

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3 points

The healthcare ones are real. I hear it from my own patients. I have to apologize for my job sector too frequently to women of color.

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275 points

I’m white, and married to a black woman. Gotta say, this is pretty accurate. Add shitty service from wait staff when the white person a table over gets regular checkups, and doctors not taking anything she says seriously, even when her symptoms are obvious. And people being rude to her when she asks a question, but nice to me when I ask them the same question a moment later.

It’s one thing to know, in abstract, that racism exists. But experiencing it through what my wife goes through on a daily basis has really opened my eyes. It feels like we exist in 2 separate worlds when we’re not out together.

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147 points

doctors not taking anything she says seriously, even when her symptoms are obvious

I’m married to a white woman, and she also experiences this, so this might be a gender discrimination problem, rather than (or in addition to) a racial discrimination problem, sadly.

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71 points

I think it’s both. It probably starts with gender discrimination (as the medical field highly favors men. Look at the differences in how we are taught about heart attacks for men and women for example) but then on top of that, it adds the racial discrimination.

Black women (and especially queer black women) are among the most discriminated groups sadly

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21 points

That’s why the term “misogynoir” exists. It’s both, and they pile on and increase each other.

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27 points

Same here. Even women doctors have been shitty to my white wife over things that should be obvious or at least taken seriously.

I can only imagine black women have it worse and that makes me pretty furious considering what I’ve already seen.

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It does depend on gender, but also on race. Even many of the medical procedures are inherently racist, since they were developed mostly with white men in mind. Especially anything that calls for visual checks can be very biased.

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24 points

Yea, that part is a gender discrimination issue, some doctors will refuse to even tie a woman’s tubes if they’re “too young” saying shit like “What will your future husband think” and if they are married already even saying shit like “You’ll need your husband’s permission/need to be present”

It’s disgusting.

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15 points

We’re both Eastern Europeans in Western Europe, so not visible minorities until we open our mouths.

We were recently house hunting, and my wife is the sole earner.

I can’t count how many times we had to explain that, or how many times we were disadvantaged against people with the opposite situation. When we applied for a joint bank account with both of us working, guess whose name they put on the account. Or try getting hired without getting asked about your family situation. For her, it always comes up in “small talk” in interviews, very obliquely of course. For me, maybe six months to one year into the job.

On the other hand, she opens the street door every time there’s a heavy delivery, as they don’t try to have her carry heavy cargo to our apartment like they do to me, despite it being paid for.

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26 points

Older doctors were literally taught that black women have a higher pain tolerance. This in part originated from an early gynecologist doing experiments on black women slaves without bothering to give them any anesthetics. His justification for it was basically that they could handle the pain, and there are doctors practicing medicine today that still belive it.

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5 points

Yeah, lots of doctors that graduated university in 1870 running around

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35 points

Well known gender thing, worse for women of color.

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15 points

The prejudices stack together, unfortunately

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17 points

Yep.

Being a woman trying to get your medical concerns taken seriously is hell.

Can’t imagine how awful it would be to stack “not white” on top of that, too.

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33 points

To add: some of the comics, as well as your, examples are good examples of intersectional discrimination. To take a particular one: the doctors-not-taking-you-as-seriously thing happens to all women. But it’s much worse for black women in particular. And it’s also not as bad for black men as it is for black women.* So, that’s an issue she’s facing in this severity because she’s black AND a woman. There are many such intersectional issues, and it’s important to acknowledge and work against them. Anything related to children is similar.

  • I remember that from a statistic, I’ll try to look it up if anyone would like me to
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15 points

It bothers me endlessly that people who advocate for keeping the tipping system are directly asking to perpetuate racism. Many of them don’t even know thats what they’re doing, but I’m slowly learning that most people (including minorities) actually like systemic racism.

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-1 points

Which country is that? Switzerland?

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Deleted by creator
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7 points

Could it be that you’re a straight white male who doesn’t mix with people outside that particular bubble much? I’m one of those, and I’m willing to believe others when they say it happens, and how often. Even in those places where the majority vote for the more progressive candidate.

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3 points
*

The liberals do it almost more than the conservatives. It’s more open racism and avoidance in red areas but somehow it’s a kindness to talk down to people of color in the eyes of the liberal.

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2 points

I’m a man and I’ve never been catcalled, but I can believe women who overwhelmingly say it’s a common experience.

A non-black person saying they’ve never been followed around a convenience store, or dealt with adultification (the phenomenon where racial bias leads people to treat black children more as adults, including things like the first row in this comic assuming a young black woman is holding her own daughter).

We all live our own experiences, so trying to deny that something happens based on not having experienced it yourself is just being obtuse.

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6 points
Deleted by creator
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-75 points

Last question is pretty legit though. Isn’t there data of how many black kids grow up without a father?

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26 points
*

And you’d likely still find that out using the same question from the left.

Also just some warning that there is immense racial bias in a lot of data. Take what you’ve heard with a grain of salt.

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29 points

Plenty of white guys that ditched, divorced, etc their partners after getting them pregnant as well.

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-24 points

Nice whataboutism. Not saying anything about the reason, but you automatically go for the “the others do it too.” I just question the honesty of the postulation in the meme. Since the father is more often than not in the picture, as is evidenced by data collected and more often than not an argument for why black men fall into crime more often than others, it is a valid question. Dont know why a doctor would ask such a question though. Seems fake.

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9 points

Black men fall into crime more? I’d love to see a study on that. They get incarcerated at a higher percentage, it’s not the same as actual crime rate.

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6 points

If you have no data about the “fact” (I wish I could highlight even more how much that is NOT a fact) and are asking users to provide evidence that supports that to you, maybe the question is not legit then, is it?

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-16 points

Its a rhetorical question for you to see the flaw in the picture painted by the “meme” https://centerforhealthjournalism.org/our-work/reporting/impact-absent-fathers-mental-health-black-boys

Look at the graphs for single motherhood https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/00027162221120759

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10 points
*

Its a rhetorical question

No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t rhetorical. You were being racist and biased in your question and now trying to hide behind rhetorics. You think you’re the first person with bias I’ve seen who’s trying to “I was joking!” his way out of their bigotry? Lol

for you to see the flaw in the picture painted by the “meme”

There is no “flaw” in the comic. It’s showing the VERY REAL difference in treatment among white and black people

Look at the graphs for single motherhood

Maybe you should actually read the article before asking me to look only at a specific portion of the whole story. Especially since, at the very beginning, the author herself wrote

But a growing literature is demonstrating how the impact of single parenthood and family structure on children varies by racial group, including evidence that Black children experience smaller single motherhood “penalties” for some outcomes, like education.

So, once again, your comment was poorly thought out. The article you yourself shared, was exploring HOW they differ and it even talked about possible socioeconomic reasons for why there are differences. What it didn’t do, is carrying out a census to show if indeed black men are more likely to leave their families.

And now, please stop trying to wiggle your way out of your bigoted comment. I don’t care about such sad attempts. Bye

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1 point
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26 points

Lol that’s a stereotype. One parent not being in the picture is a poverty thing. Not a black thing. Since poverty disproportionately effects black Americans out seems like it’s a black problem but it’s a system of oppression problem.

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-15 points
*

Look at the graphs and compare the relative Poverty between latinos as blacks. Then looks at the graphs showing single mothers. There is some correlation between poverty and single motherhood, clearly. But there is definitely a great disparity between the various poor that you just can’t wave off as “racism”. It might be systematic, but not only a system perpetrated by the white majority, cause then the graphs would be equal for latonis and blacks. So perhaps there is a systemic issue within the black community causing men to not take responsibility for their own children? https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/00027162221120759

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14 points

Not everyone believes this, but my understanding is that declassified (CIA I think? been a while) documents support the assertion that parts of our government employed a strategy designed to disrupt black communities. This strategy involved flooding predominantly black neighborhoods with crack cocaine, and then letting addiction, crime, and incarceration take their course.

It worked really well.

And then add in policies over the years that have perversely incentivized splitting up households (much-needed aid not available depending on who lives in the home), too, which may have been well-intentioned but proved very damaging to communities.

And we should also not forget - when comparing poverty outcomes between black and Latino Americans - these groups did not start from equivalent points. The practice of slavery did lasting, massive damage to the black community in the US - it’s basically impossible to extract present outcomes from that history. Far too much trauma.

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7 points

Lol this doesn’t give any context and has cherry picked data with poor controls over variables. (Like why is a parent missing? Is it due to over incarceration and policing of black communities? Is it due to poor financial state of schools in black communities? What classifies a single mother? Does that mean the father is not in the child’s life at all or just not currently in a relationship with the mother? What about single father’s? Is that accounted for?)

There’s nothing in the black community or genetics. It’s all outside societal pressures. There are hundreds of studies on this by way more reputable sources with vastly different conclusions. The black community is no different when it comes to wanting to have a family and wanting to be involved with that family. But Black Americans ( especially black women) deal with outside factors that essentially guarantees most black Americans are second class citizens.

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23 points

It is more common for black fathers to be absent according to certain demographic measures.
However: race is not the only factor to the statistic, and the statistic in not defined well through time.
At one point “divorced or never married mother” was the basis for the statistic. Shifting it to “father lives in a separate home” is better but still misses that you can live in a separate home and still be there for your kid. That’s before you get to adoptive fathers and all the other non-biological support roles.

For all those measures, economics is a better predictor than race. Race serving as an indirect measure of economics is its own can of worms and bias.

Finally, a question can be statistically valid and still be biased, inappropriate, or just rude.
“You’re black, so I don’t want to assume your child’s father is around” is all of those.

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24 points

The fact that you “know it’s a talking point” but don’t know the statistics makes me feel that you should re-think who created the statistics in the first place and why.

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-8 points

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/00027162221120759

Data for this study comes from the LIS, which is an archive of cross-nationally and historically harmonized individual-level nationally representative datasets. U.S. data in the LIS come from the Annual Social and Economic March Supplement of the CPS. The main advantage of using the LIS over the underly- ing CPS is the higher-quality and improved income measures that comprehen- sively incorporate taxes and transfers and therefore yield improved poverty measures. I analyze twenty-five waves of LIS data for the United States from 1995 to 2018. I select this time period because it includes all the U.S. datasets for which all variables in the study are available.1

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9 points

Lmfao, from your article:

it seems more research exploring the role of structural forces (e.g., the labor market, policies, racism, etc.) would be a fruitful avenue for advancing our understanding of the enduring racial inequality in child poverty and the penalties attached to child poverty risks.

Even your article calls out that racism is a major factor that should be studied. Glad you agree.

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79 points

I’ll give you a bonus one: “But where are you originally from?”

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39 points
*

Or white person: “You speak [West European language I was raised in] very well”

Me: “Uh thanks you too”

White person:

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9 points

Wait that’s illegal

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29 points

“where are you from?”

Here.

“But where did you grow up?”

Here.

“Where were you born?”

Here.

“But where were your parents from?”

The town over.

“Okay but where were your grandparents from”

[Other country]

“Ah okay now I can finally put this label on you and refer to you as [country]an whenever I talk about you and hang all these assumptions on you”

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2 points

I got in trouble for this once lmao

A group of teenagers showed up to the charity event my club worked on every year. They all knew each other and I was curious what organization they might be a part of, so I asked one “so where are y’all from?” Only then did it occur to me that they were all Hispanic and the poor kid, looking unbelieveably annoyed, firmly told me “here.” I was able to stumble into my real curiosity but God that was embarrasing.

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