95 points

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5 points

Thank you for posting this. I was gonna try and paraphrase it because what is being said is so spot on to this sentiment.

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46 points
*

If I had a felony conviction Iā€™d be applying everywhere answering the phone like, ā€œoh right, you can be president but not manager of a dave and busters.ā€

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16 points

Sorry, but you need 33 more convictions to qualify for that position.

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5 points
*

No problem, coming right up, first one is intimidation for threatening to stick my foot up your bum.

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5 points

Sorry, I refused to file charges because I ainā€™t no snitch. It would have been reduced to a misdemeanor anyways. Youā€™re going to need to try harder.

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2 points
*

Unfortunately for you, thatā€™s called ā€œmenaceā€ and its merely a misdemeanor.
Youā€™ll need to do more than this to get a proper conviction-- aggravating the charge by involving a weapon or minors might be a good option for your goals. You need to be much more creative with your criminality if you ever want to enter the gentry class. Consider white collar crime, or creating jobs by hiring some minions. Now that trump is in office, it will be a particularly attractive time to venture into federal crimes, or crimes that cross state or national boundaries.

(/s)

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37 points

You can be incompetent and get any job, but you have to be willing to be an asshole and remove your backbone.

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7 points

Of course there is a catch

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4 points

And have very rich parents

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24 points

ā€œBrought to you by Carlā€™s Jr.ā€

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22 points

Come on, thats an unfair conparison.

President Camacho actually wanted to fix things.

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3 points
*

Yea, I mean, he apparently even traveled back in time to try to save cheese for future generations. But Iā€™m afraid that was a futile attempt, because the US citizens have nevertheless set the course that will lead us to the timeline where there is no more cheese.

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3 points

And listened to people smarter than him.

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7 points

ā€œFuck you! Iā€™m eatingā€

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4 points

ā€œI love youā€

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18 points

trump proved to me Anyone can be anything*

*with Rich parents or leech to guy with rich parents.

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