Is that possible or am I just SOL for never being raised
Start studying, it is never too late to UNLEARN or LEARN. Step one is realizing YOU are now in control to improve things.
You’re not broken, your different. So you don’t have many of the same experiences we take for granted. If you look at it in the right light it might be a blessing. You have the opportunity to have brand new experiences in a time when you can understand them better without the cloud of childhood. I think there are hundreds of things I would almost kill for, to experience for the first time again.
Before you might not have had a choice. Now you do! Choose to do the things you love. If you don’t know what that is, keep looking till you find it. Find the things that awaken your passion and follow that road where it leads. Branches in the road and the choices you’ll make will open more of the world to with each passing day.
We are all fucked! We all have baggage we needlessly carry. We all try to hide that from each other. Your baggage is just different than mine.
What ever you do in this world remember to be kind to yourself, the world can be rough and you at least need yourself on your team.
Big hug young one!
Now playing Broken - Gorillaz
It helps knowing you’re not the only one, IMO. Look up people who have left high-control communities (would have been called cults in decades past). People can come out of some pretty horrific backgrounds and with hard work, intention, and support, live good lives.
For most people, through professional help. You aren’t SOL, and you could get there yourself, but it will be far easier with assistance from medical and psychological professionals that are trained to help guide you in ways that aren’t just you struggling on your own or beating yourself up internally.
I’ve skimmed your other posts and you need more than well meaning strangers on the internet will be able to give you. You may also want to look into potential legal action against the institution you say you were stuck in, as none of what you described sounds like standard practice of care for the autism misdiagnosis you said put you in there.
Life is just waiting around doing what you want to fill the time till you die. Fill yours with reintegration projects. Join some clubs, join a support group. Never stop searching for what you’re seeking.
It’s funny you wish to be a part of this clown show. It takes all kinds to make the world go round.
I wish I could disconnect from everything and fly away from the planet. Fuck this dirty dirty planet.
