46 points

Doesn’t splitting helium into hydrogen absorb energy?

Fusion bombs fuse hydrogen into helium.

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34 points

France just happened to get nuked by the English at that very moment. It was unrelated to the helium situation

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4 points

Its actually the Germans dressed as the English, retribution for France planning on nuking them if the cold war got hot. Also it wa as all of Germany not just the Eastern half.

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9 points

Are you alchemist? Is it true you can cut an atom with knife like potato

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17 points

Yes. Finding a knife-like potato is difficult, though.

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8 points

Split atom and you get energy

Not that atom - look you’re doing it wrong

Yeah, you are right. You don’t energy for fusing elements heavier than iron and you definitely don’t get energy from fission of helium-4.

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6 points

There should still be lots of energy stored holding it together. It’s just incredibly hard to split.

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5 points

There is no* energy stored holding it together, just as there is no energy released when splitting a brick from the ground or splitting two magnets.

*The energy stored in the electrical repulsion of the protons is much much less than the energy required to break the strong force bonds amongst the protons and neutrons, so energy is consumed rather than released in a split.

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4 points

But it takes more energy to split than you get out of it.

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28 points
*

is it not the same in english? noble gases? idk french either but i would guess its like this:

hello my name is helium. im a noble gas.

noble?

guillotine

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You did great and it’s the same message either way but, just for fun, your translation in French would be:

bonjour je m’appelle helium. j’suis un gaz noble.

(The literal translation would be “mon nom est helium” but people don’t usually talk like that in French- just like the literal translation of “je m’appelle” is “I call myself” but people don’t usually talk like that in English)

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5 points

I should have mentioned idk chemistry either

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27 points

I realize trolling nerds is part of the appeal, but this gag would actually work with heavier noble gases like krypton, xenon, or radon.

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17 points

They turned it into Cher-noble.

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hello it’s me helium

i am a noble gas

Noble ?

Unintelligible

funkyphoto.clear

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2 points

Is .clear a stand-in TLD for non-TOR sites, or a science joke?

I like it either way

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I translated photofunky.net as if it were French lol. “Photo funky” is how you would say “funky photo” in French. And net is a word in both languages too, so I just went with a different meaning for the joke

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2 points

Ahh nice

I think Spanish has that same word order

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1 point

It would be more like <<image pris par appareil-photo qui possède de la fonque>>

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