Why the fuck does it matter how I hold my forkor what spoon I eat soup with? Why does it matter where my ellbows are?

Really depends on what part of it. There are things like offering your bus seat to someone who needs it, or waiting for people to exit before you enter. Those indeed make sense.

And then there’s what the other commenters pointed out, arbitrary rules about what cutlery to use and in which hand and such.

Except etiquette extends beyond just “common social etiquette”. Using a knife and fork the “correct way” is etiquette. Eating soup by scooping the spoon away from oneself is etiquette. Placing your cutlery the correct way on the dish when you’re finished is etiquette and varies wildly by country. These are just examples of dining etiquette, there’s much more. Its all bullshit and I agree it should boil down to being respectful and mindful, but depending who raised you it may happen that you get reprimanded and punished for not following very arbitrary rules.

Considering every culture has completely different etiquette, I’d argue otherwise. We’re talking drinking from bowls vs talking during a meal style stuff. I’ll hold my fork with the right hand and knife in left, despite being right handed and no etiquette freak can stop me!

One of the things my parents did understand correctly as “new money” is that a significant portion of piddling etiquette rules about what color to wear at what times of the year and which fork goes on the left were largely ways for the bourgeoisie to attempt to maintain their advanced standing against the increases in (the potential for) equality that capitalism initially brought about. Unfortunately my parents are also a very “well we got ours so everyone else must be lazy” type of people who think that’s as good as equality can or should get.

I’m in the UK and have experienced all of this

Are you talking about me, or the person in the photo? If you’re talking about the former, then you would be correct.

There are….others??

I can easily see this written by someone from another country.

The fuck I do. That sounds like you’re just rationalizing your behavior.

By those terms, guess I’ll have to consider that I am not an adult, despite being an Oregon Trail millennial.

Nah, kids deserve more credit than that. I’m honest with kids (to an age-appropriate level) because it’s vital that they develop critical thinking skills. Considering the world they’re growing up into, they’re going to need all the training they can get to become able to discern fact from fiction.

I give kids legit reasons. I explore their “Why” questions. Then when I don’t know the answer, I’ll be honest but supportive, “I don’t know, but let’s find out.” We have to model what being a rational adult is like, and how we come to logical conclusions. Children aren’t going to learn this stuff from being brushed off or told some silly explanation.

That being said, it’s important to be smart about context. It’s reasonable and responsible to disengage from the conversation if someone demonstrates that they aren’t arguing in good faith, whether they’re an adult or a child. The problem is, a lot of adults jump to whatever explanation makes their own life easier, without any regard to how their response can shape the future adult they’re speaking with. If you’re truly concerned about kids’ futures, you have to acknowledge that there is a lot you know that kids don’t know yet. Offer them the benefit of the doubt and seize these opportunities to teach kids how to think for themselves.

That low oxygen training will come handy when you work on a spaceship or a submarine. Training the spacemen of tomorrow!

In fact, your being two years ahead in math makes your inability to sit still all the more disappointing. See above the lesson on Fulfilling Your Potential.

Its actually what corporate needs.

A lot of these I remember learning from teachers rather than my parents. Also reinforced by other kids, assorted relatives, etc. Even good parents can’t protect you from the rest of society.