11 points

Wouldn’t that be an occasion where tactical nukes would become really handy? I would guess the classical zombie hord would be a real nice target…

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4 points

That’s how “Return of the Living Dead” ended. Spoiler: it didn’t work out well.

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10 points

how would that help? If it’s far enough away to nuke them without nuking yourself, the zombies would probably be too far away to bother you.

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6 points

Congrats, now you have irradiated zombies. And any not truly destroyed by the explosion would effectively just get knocked down by the shockwave and get right back on up.

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11 points

Do you want to deal with glowing ones? Cause that is how you get glowing ones.

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5 points

Resident Evil and The Last of Us have nukes in the story. It didn’t help at all.

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14 points

A modern military is a movie killer in many situations.

Kaiju? Don’t make me laugh.

“Flood torpedo tubes 1 and 3.”

And zombies in America?! LOL, all my neighbors have a gun or two. Black, white, young, old, liberal, conservative, all of them. We could probably field something with a scope on every rooftop.

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8 points

Both of the recent Japanese Godzilla movies (Shin Godzilla and Godzilla Minus One) actually do an excellent job of neutralizing the military factor.

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45 points

Conventional infantry tactics don’t really work against zombies. For instance, suppressing fire; you can’t suppress zombies, because they don’t care if they get shot, and it only matters if they get shot in the head. You can’t inflict any amount of damage that’s going to force a retreat. Artillery and bombs are only going to effect them if they’re in the direct blast zone; shrapnel still has to penetrate the brain.

Your best bets are likely going to be napalm and flame throwers. I’m not sure how many napalm bombs the US military has, but I’m pretty sure that they don’t have tons of flamethrowers.

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37 points
*

Conventional infantry tactics from 1945 certainly don’t work. We haven’t fought like that in forever.

Modern infantry tactics would be “Sit inside my nice warm armoured vehicle while the gunner shreds everything with a 25mm autocannon.” And I think that would work just fine against zombies.

Also any competent military shouldn’t have the slightest difficulty getting headshots on a slow moving target that isn’t trying to evade or use cover.

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21 points

You haven’t shot with people that were in the military, have you? :P

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2 points
*

You’re wrong and you’re right.

I have a very direct knowledge of military marksmanship - much moreso than probably 90% of the people in this thread - but in all fairness my hands on knowledge is with the Canadian military, and I’d forgotten that since we’re talking about zombie movies, we are of course talking about US soldiers. So not really the same thing.

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4 points

Out of curiosity, how do they shoot in your experience? I’ve never shot but have friends and family in the armed forces who’ve I’ve spoken about this to and I don’t doubt the military could win against a horde assuming they’re regular walking dead zombies and not left 4 dead ones. You don’t have to have perfect aim when you can unload at height level into a crowd.

Also, tanks.

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14 points

Ukrainian thermite drones would like to have a word

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4 points

You’d still need to hit each zombie individually though.

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4 points

Not with thermite, it spreads flammable liquid everywhere. Look for “dragon” drone videos if you want. Zombies are unlikely to try to to jump over the burning fluid and if anything probably will spread it further and on themselves so eventually will burn. It’s probably one of thepre effective remote ways to deal with them in modern warfare. Especially since drones are bloody loud so zombies are more likely to chase the drones instead of operators who can be entirely hidden.

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17 points

Artillery and bombs can shred/destroy the body, making it hard to move, if there is enough body left to move.

A .50 to the arm isn’t going to slow a zombie down, but the knee? Kinda hard to walk with one leg. 25mm chain gun is probably going to mist a few bodies.

Artillery is an area denial weapon. If you have a hoard a couple 105 shells are going to take apart rotten flesh with ease. Mortars are similar and more mobile.

Mine fields are effective as a way to immobilise and thin the herd.

Choke points work exceptionally well, and claymores can be rigged at head height.

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2 points

Kinda hard to walk with one leg

Zombies can and do drag themselves, or even worm their way across fields. Until the brain is destroyed, they’re a threat.

25mm chain gun is probably going to mist a few bodies.

Sure, but, again, unless you hit the head, they’re still a threat. And meanwhile, you’ve blown through a thousand rounds of ammo.

Artillery is an area denial weapon.

You can only deny area when people aren’t willing to charge into it. Zombies aren’t doing massed charges though; each and every zombie is Leroy Jenkins, acting entirely independently, and with zero foresight.

IMO, the most effective method weapon would be a steam roller, as long as all the mechanical parts and the operator cockpit were completely covered so that a zombie couldn’t damage anything. Like, say, some of the mine removal vehicles. Moving around is going to attract the zombies, and then running them over would eliminate them.

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11 points

Conventional weapons can reduce hoards to manageable amount. And a zombie dragging itself across the ground is much easier to deal with.

If I saw thousands of zombies, a machine gun is what I want. Aim head at the average head height, and make the barrels smoke. It’s not suppressing fire, it’s crowd management.

Remember you can spike a zombie on the ground easier than when they are standing. Immobilise, THEN neutralise.

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4 points

Zombies can and do drag themselves, or even worm their way across fields. Until the brain is destroyed, they’re a threat.

Head shots are much easier when zombies are moving slower. I suspect a platoon with 8 guys shooting an M2 and the rest with scoped rifles could easily protect an encampment from thousands of zombies.

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7 points

IMO, the most effective method weapon would be a steam roller

The most effective weapon would be a steam roller equipped with a machine gun that fires lightsabers.

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3 points

Give Marvin Heeymeyer a Case asphalt compactor, a welder, and some steel. We’ll have this problem licked before dinner.

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34 points

For instance, suppressing fire; you can’t suppress zombies, because they don’t care if they get shot, and it only matters if they get shot in the head.

This makes my teeth itch. I realize that this is NCD but…

Without claiming outright magic damage to muscle and bone still matters. A bipedal creature absolutely requires certain muscles and bones to remain upright. If a zombie gets hit with a rifle round that blows out a 3" chunk of its spine then it can’t stand up. That kind of damage is easily done with a 30 caliber rifle round (7.76) let alone the venerable .50 caliber. Even the relatively small .223 / 5.56 that’s carried by standard infantry will remove muscle and break bones.

Your average grunt is going to figure out real quick where and how they need to shoot in order to slow or stop these things. If head shots aren’t possible and it takes too much ammo for body shots they’ll start aiming for the knees and ankles, because again that zombie can’t run / shamble at you if it has no feet or it’s ankle or knee has been blown into a hundred pieces.

So when Tommy Tactical or Isaac Infantry mag dumps 20 rounds of 5.56 into a zombie it may not be “dead” but it sure as shit has taken critical damage to its musculoskeletal system and will almost certainly not able to stand upright. Ol’ Mike the Mighty on the Ma Deuce will reduce a hundred zombies into a quivering pile in 60 seconds or less all by himself.

That zombie horde will be a lot less dangerous and easy to clean up once it’s crawling on the ground with all the speed of a toddler.

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15 points

Without claiming outright magic […]

…We’re still talking about zombies, right? Animated corpses that have an overwhelming need to consume human flesh, and can only be killed with overwhelming brain damage? I’m pretty sure that’s the definition of magic right there. If you’re talking about something like the cordyceps fungi–which, to infect humans, would still need some kind of magical power–you still have a very, very finite limit on how long a ‘human’ will survive (about four weeks without food, give or take), so you should be able to just wait them out, rather than needing to proactively kill them.

That zombie horde will be a lot less dangerous and easy to clean up once it’s crawling on the ground with all the speed of a toddler.

Less dangerous, yes. Not not dangerous, depending on which version of zombies you’re talking about specifically.

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7 points

This makes my teeth itch. I realize that this is NCD but

Be non-credible, not wrong. Good post!

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13 points

I think tanks would be their best bet - mounted machine guns and can carry lots of ammo, and if they’re surrounded and about to be overrrun then they can just drive away - through the zombies. It’s a tank, it has torque up the wazoo.

Actually, no, barbed wire would be their best bet - the blade doesn’t have to move if the zombies slice themselves apart on it.

In practice, just use both!

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5 points

A tank that chews through 5 gallons per mile? Who’s going to be sitting in the tanker truck to do refils?

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16 points

I’m not sure how many napalm bombs the US military has, but I’m pretty sure that they don’t have tons of flamethrowers.

/unjerk so googling around slows that the US military stopped using them in the 1970s. TIL.

/rejerk

Say that three times fast and a SIG sales rep appears behind you.

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3 points

I thought that they still used them for destroying some munitions? Like, those burn pits in Iraq that caused so many cases of cancer? IDK.

You can quite legally buy them in the US though. They’re pricey, but, hey, you never know, right?

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5 points

And you’re certainly free to fabricate one!*

* Except in California, because California.

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60 points

“But those are people running at us, we were totally caught off guard!” says the person trained to mow down maas groups of people.

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25 points
*

On the one hand, it would be the national guard shooting at the zombies, and not regular military.

On the other hand, I’m from Ohio, and know what the national guard can and will do…

I guess my point is they’d still shoot, they’d just miss a lot?

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3 points

Four undead in Ohio
Four undead in Ohio

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7 points

Center mass shots not working at all would take a lot of un-learning for sure

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91 points

The World War Z book did a good job talking about this. Things like zombies not being affected by overpressure from explosions making bombs less effective, and then ultimately the true downfall of the military: bad leaders with no clue what they were doing ordering soldiers to their deaths in stupid ways

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48 points

Yeah I remember that part! They brought SAM launchers, radar, jammers and camo netting to a zombie fight.

I really like how they showed the military adapting though. Flying C-130s sparingly to save fuel. Running attack dirgibles, and returning infantry to formation tactics with .22 rifles and bite resistant suits.

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48 points

LOL, I can see the Pentagon showing up at CCI:

“We need 500 million .22LR rounds.”

“Well cert… Uh… 500 million?”

“Here’s the purchase order. Good to pick up next Friday?”

Not a fan of the movie, but Brad Pitt taping magazines around his forearms for armor was brilliant. Light, 100% tooth-proof, easy to shed, easy to replace, all that.

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2 points

Would we buy from CCI now that Vista sold to the Czechs? Hornady save us!

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3 points

Don’t forget the Lobo. Brilliant multi tool.

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