150 points

His other name is Teleporno

https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Celeborn

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71 points

“Celeborn was a Sindarin prince of Doriath, being the grandson of Elmo

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63 points

Teleporno, son of Pornhubo, brother of xHamster, brother-in-law of Thin-rod.

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9 points

They also have this weird cousin named Nhentai that nobody wants to acknowledge.

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3 points

Real time ultra fast (self-?)censorship directly on the data input bus to the brainhole.

Nothing is prefect, let us just pretend this didn’t happen just now & lets enjoy the work further.

I’m guessing.

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32 points

I wouldn’t televise mine but you do you celeborn

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13 points

“Is this one of those illegal channels? It’s so blurry you can’t even see anything. Oh wait there it is, wow, I thought that was an arm at first.”

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8 points

Look, homie just tryin to make a dollar while competing against hardcore orc porn and hobbit scat fetish. Leave him alone

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5 points

hobbit porn is just a guy ripping fat tokes on a pipe while gently stroking a rake

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9 points

As someone who’s a fan of the Silmarillion, idk how I never knew this.

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4 points

Is it pronounced differently? Like Tokyo Sexwale isn’t pronounced like you just did in your head.

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3 points

Sorry, as someone who frequently mispronounces everything, I’m not the right person to ask.

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1 point
*

I don’t think so, at least not meaningfully. Obviously it has a different meaning: tel- is seemingly a prefix that means “finish, end, be last”, and orn means tree (can also be seen in his other name, Celeborn). So the meaningful pieces would be tel and orn, which means that the p might be less pronounced than an English person would normally do it, but it doesn’t make much of a difference.

Tl;dr: he’s just named Teleporno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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93 points

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53 points

If we wanna be pedantic (and I usually do), Pippin’s Real Name is Razanur.

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9 points

🤯

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5 points

Where is that mentioned? I don’t remember it from the books.

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12 points

It’s in the appendices. It tells us the authentic Westron names of all the main Hobbits we follow.

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42 points

High quality version

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6 points

So many pixels!

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31 points

Telephone Pornography

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6 points

RNs will know what the ringtone would be.

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2 points

No really, your parents named you that?

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2 points
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First you have to crank the shaft to get some power & establish signal, then proceed to tell some 75%-of-minimum-wage operator in Mordor who you wish to contact, and only then explain in great detail a rather hot sexual encounter that borders on fantasy.

Such is the daily life of a junior teleporner.

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