cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/45204357
Yesterday, I created my account on Lemmy.ml because I want to become mod on !stardewvalley@lemmy.ml. And I posted this comic on !stardewvalley@lemmy.ml It’s SDV game cutscene where Shane a NPC go watch Sports game with you kiss you accidentily but It was part of that event also player kiss Shane(NPC) back. Here’s video for more context. And someone claimed it have SA(Sexual Assualt) From Hexbear Ofcourse. So, I should delete it. I said it was a part of game cutscene. And If main player doesn’t love the Shane(NPC) then they don’t need to complete this event. And Just as a sarcasm I added Yeah we shoule delete this entire community because this game is Woke like Woke Detector Steam Group said. That user think I am some anti-woke dickhead something like that IDK. And tell me to Kill My Self. What I do now? I wanted on become mod on .ml because community was already well established. I message dessaline but I am sure he will not unbanned me. :(
Did I really did something wrong? I don’t know If I really did something wrong.
Link for that comic if embed doesn’t work.
Create one lemm.ee !stardewvalley@lemm.ee
Here’s some context, in defence of the OP:
The game in question allows you to date and marry different characters, among them Shane (represented in the comic with the purple hair). In order to do so, once the character reaches an affection level of eight hearts towards you, you need to give them a bouquet, that clearly signals that the player’s avatar has romantic interest towards that person.
The comic represents Shane’s ten hearts event. As in: you can only reach that point if you already showed romantic interest towards Shane. And in the context, the kiss is not even sexual in nature, it’s just Shane excited with the game.
As in, there’s no fucking way to interpret this as sexual assault.
But of course. Slacktivists gonna witch hunt, right? They’re unable to understand context, but they’re still really eager to screech at you. And .ml moderation in special has a nasty tendency towards both slacktivism and witch hunting.
They also don’t seem to get sarcasm well.
They also don’t seem to get sarcasm well.
That’s Lemmy as a whole, not just them.
You are a treasure for the Fediverse to have. You allowed yourself to get triggered later on, but this comment right here is pure gold! 🪙
Thank you!
Although, to be frank, I wasn’t triggered. Sure, I got mildly annoyed at two users, one for behaving like a dumb fuck and another for adding zero to the discussion; but the main reason why I was ruder with the HB users is that they don’t understand things unless you speak their language - it’s how they typically speak with each other anyway, I knew that it wouldn’t offend them.
(The first one is likely still pretending that this comic represents sexual abuse, that “gullibleness” isn’t a valid word, and that I was using my typically convoluted vocabulary to “sound smart”.)
Addressing the other comment, about HB [de]federation:
I don’t know what the admins there want, but it’s somewhat clear that a lot of the userbase wants to eat the cake and have it too: they want access to the content offered by other instances, but still behave like they were in HB.
If you poke around inside HB, you will see them having these same conversations - I recall one, found by searching the keyword “(de)federation” where their admin was begging and pleading for them to behave. I might have restricted the search to whatever their announcement community is called, which I can usually find by sorting the local communities list by oldest. Anyway, their userbase obviously doesn’t care.
This points to why normalization of toxicity is so incredibly dangerous: by not stopping it inside their own instance, they train people that that kind of behavior is okay. Now, of course the users are going to act the same way outside of it!?!?!? You cannot extract blood from a stone, you cannot expect a leopard to change its spots, you cannot (necessarily) expect civility from someone trained on 4chan, and by federating with them and providing zero means to block them, that isn’t half as much their fault as ours. The likes of Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, and Steve Huffman are all going to do their thang, but it’s our choice to use the platforms that they provide.
Lemmy’s 0.19.3 was supposed to allow user-blocking - older posts calling for user-level defederation were always told “just wait, it’s coming”. However, what little protection it did offer has since degraded further - the only thing is does is block communities for someone, not the toxic-AF userbase, and while it used to also block notifications from them, as of 0.19.5 the latter protection is already gone. At this point I expect it will never happen. Bc if it did, people would block Lemmy.ml too, and they can’t have that.
Only the authority admins can choose to defederate from hexbear.net and lemmygrad.ml, and lemmy.ml too except who are we kidding that’s not happening. Some instances have at least blocked certain communities such as ChapoTrapHouse, but obviously meander.xyz has not (https://mander.xyz/c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net), seeming to prefer to leave it up to each individual user to decide which users, communities, and instances to block - except again, you cannot block the latter, not without some kind of bot or doing the work manually for each individual user and community, plus any new ones that may be created in the future. And despite all the posts that seem to indicate otherwise, quite often we are prevented from even discussing the matter. In the 10 months since I made this account, I have only had 3 posts removed - all 3 for criticizing the admin practices on Lemmy.ml. What is allowed to be said is only the tip of the iceberg.
Watching Innuendo Studios’ The Alt Right Playbook changed my thinking forever, helping solidify my thinking that while you can lead a horse to water, you cannot make it drink. I am not criticizing what you did here bc you weren’t speaking for the sake of changing the actual HB’s mind, but to breathe the light of knowledge into the dark corners of the situation, mainly for the sake of the rest of us who know nothing about that game and perhaps are too busy or otherwise not inclined to look up such details. FANTASTIC! But anyway, I now know that people who troll are not worth talking to.
So I’ll probably move away from Lemmy, either to PieFed or Tesseract on dubvee.org or both, or lemmy.cafe seems quite welcoming and is the only fully Lemmy instance I’ve ever heard of that has defederated from all of the big 3 - and notably virtually nothing else (except threads.net), so it’s like lemm.ee but without that source of toxicity. It also is running 0.19.6-beta.9, and has fantastic welcome messages on the home page - most instances refuse to update your sidebar content to help guide new users, inclined highly ironically lemmy.ml itself that just has a link titled “What is Lemmy.ml” that points to a post that has since been removed:-D. Both dubvee.org and lemmy.cafe are only run by a single admin though iirc, so seem less stable for the future.
Btw whether you are interested in joining PieFed or not yourself, I highly recommend reading this: https://join.piefed.social/2024/06/22/piefed-features-for-growing-healthy-communities/ - many of those thoughts that you and I discussed over a year ago about voting patterns, with trust based on reputation scores and sorting based on someone’s pattern of behaviors, as we do irl, are fleshed out there. They might be great solutions to the problems, or they might be horrible ones, but either way it’s an interesting read, and a step forward to making something actually happen!
We cannot control others, only ourselves. New, mainstream people are far less likely to join Lemmy due to all the extremism and toxicity that we allow here, the (mostly false) mantra “you can just block it tho” aside, not everyone wants to treat their social media like they are installing Arch Linux btw.
This is SA and all my arguments are made in the original thread which OP conveniently never links: CW for SA and SA apology https://hexbear.net/post/3706906
It’s a lot of stuff so I’ll only mention a few points here and there. Others might want to check your link directly for context.
[CW: link contains frivolous usage of a word considerably more likely to trigger victims of sexual violence than a kiss in a comic.]
You’re inferring too much from a drawing. The kiss is unexpected for two reasons: it is not a romantic situation (it’s a sports game), and Shane not being an assertive person. Same sort of surprise as someone otherwise prudish using swear words. On being “limp”, seriously?
I need you to understand that posts like these can absolutely wreck someones day and pose a barrier to the site and lemmy as a whole. So best case: it’s ableist to put it up.
Everyone has a different trigger. You might triggering with your clothes, or your perfume, or your usage of a specific word unrelated to violence… that’s awful but it’s how things are.
It’s simply too far from any reasonable boundary that we could say “no, this is going too far, it’s too likely to trigger someone”, you know?
Because if we [people in general] stop doing and sharing every single thing that might potentially trigger someone, we’ll neither do nor share anything. Doubly so if we need to also take into account people who are oblivious to the context.
That includes your prescription not allowing women to express themselves, as it is the case of this comic. People across this thread have not mentioned the author, but here she is; so you got a woman representing the scene as positive, but apparently women can’t have their fun too, right.
[She’s also likely Latin American. It’s common knowledge that folks here are considerably more eager to touch each other. Unless I’m supposed to pretend that the only valid behaviour rules are the ones followed by Anglos.]
Secondly: the fact that your first line of defense is “it’s just a game” makes me want to shoot you. It’s just a comment.
I’m highlighting this because it’s an actually good argument. If this was indeed a piece of content encouraging sexual abuse (it is not, but let’s pretend that it is), “it’s just a game” would not be a valid defence.
Thirdly: Shane being a depressed alcoholic does not give him a pass to SA people?? And if he’s been drinking even though he’s an alcoholic all the more reason to step out of the situation. How is pointing out that this is not just a comic about SA but about an alcoholic relapsing and then SA’ing helping your argument? “oh he’s been down lately, lets let this one slide”? [REDACTED]
You were so fucking close to convince me that you actually care about victims of sexual abuse being triggered by content on the internet. So close.
Until you posted the part that I’ve redacted off, containing a word that is considerably more likely to trigger them than a kiss in a comic. Rules for thee, but not for me???
The asterisk does nothing by the way.
Famously in stardew valley you aren’t dating until after the ten heart event.
That is blatantly false. Eight hearts is when you start dating; ten hearts is when your relationship is solid enough that you can safely ask the person in marriage.
Props for actually discussing this, unlike most HB kids who hopped into this thread just to have fun. (…I kind of had my fun with them too.)
Why would anyone want to read anything from that cesspit? If you’re going to make an argument, make it here. Otherwise you’re falling on deaf ears as most people here know Hexbear’s very poor reputation and won’t bother.
It’s on Hexbear as it views the original Lemmy.ml thread, don’t be so scared, lol. You aren’t going to become a spooky scary Marxist just for clicking a link even if it was linked directly to Hexbear.
The important bit is that the link shows the entire argument chain between the commenter you are replying to and OP.
Celebrate. Move to another instance. Dbzer0, Solarpunk, Lemm.ee, .world, there are a bunch of choices. Takes some work to revive a community, but it’s very doable. .ml has trash admins and mods, and that’s unlikely to change.
I am on lemm.ee for a year now I just created account .ml to become mod dying !stardewvalley@lemmy.ml community.
Well, might try creating the Stardew Valley community on Lemm.ee then? You could do some reposting if you wanted a bit of easy activity while things wind up.
I have a rule. I will not join ANY community on .ml
Even if I would otherwise enjoy the content.
I’m even a fan of Stardew Valley, and I would like to subscribe to your…oh. It’s on .ml?
Hey, quick question. Does anyone know any decent Stardew Valley communities on Lemmy? I’d love to know if we have any Stardew Valley communities!
Why someone could even make a brand new community, and I would join! Any Stardew Valley on any instance besides .ml and besides any that defederated from .world.
!stardewvalley@lemm.ee Just created
Just FYI, you don’t need an account on another Instance to become a Mod there (you do need one to start a community).
Just FYI, you don’t need an account on another Instance to become a Mod there (you do need one to start a community).
Reports are still not federated, so having a remote account prevents you from dealing with them
I agree, but I would take .world off that list at this point. It’s getting weird. Not necessarily time to leave yet or anything, but if you have a choice for where to set up a home, I would pick one without little developing red flags.
Don’t think I’ve seen anything from the .world admins that makes me second-guess making my home here. Not to say they’re perfect, but I don’t think I’ve seen anything that would make me think “Wow, these guys are in some way, fundamentally objectionable” rather than “These are amateurs making amateur mistakes, as one might expect from a volunteer service.”
Some of the more established mod teams are less than stellar, though. Plenty of good mods, but certainly a fair share of mediocre or tetchy ones. my tetchy self included
I wasn’t trying to say they were bad, nothing like that. I agree, there are some great people, yourself included. I’m more thinking in terms of:
- No VPN access, no bot API access
- Defederated from beehaw
- MediaBiasFactCheck and whatever the fuck strange thing is going on with that
- Busy, overworked admins, trying to do too much
I wasn’t trying to imply they were bad people by any means. Just raising a question about why to make them the default when there are options that don’t do those things.
It’s a follow-on problem, I think, stemming from the combination of the volunteer nature and the scope of how much they’ve bitten off. I finished, this week, the first draft of my magnum opus essay about problems of incentives in the Lemmyverse where I talk more about this and will probably post it soon.
I have observed mod action and bans of users when no rules were violated on lemmy.world several times. The news and political subs might as well be on .ml as they heavily censor opposing views. I’m not talking about anything against the written rules. There’s lots of unwritten ones.
Mods on other instances at times follow the ideas of lemmy.world, so you might get automatically banned elsewhere.
Getting banned means all your posts and communities get deleted without a trace.
sh.itjust.works has been good so far.
Dbzer0, Solarpunk, Lemm.ee, .world
I mean, none of these defederate from .ml right?.I feel like people say a lot of bad stuff about .ml but nobody seems to actually defederate from them. Why is this?
.ml 's big problem isn’t the users, but the communities/mods/admins, unlike Grad and Hexbear. So defederating doesn’t meaningfully decrease the workload for the mods or admins of a defederating instance by much.
There are quite a few topics mostly active on ml
Basically FOSS and privacy communities
- !linux@programming.dev is a thing, but !linux@lemmy.ml is far more active
- same for !opensource@lemmy.ml and !opensource@programming.dev
I imagine they’ll all have counterparts elsewhere eventually. Did my bit with !horrormovies@lemm.ee.
Report to the local gulag for ideological reeducation. Or go to another instance.
Ml has become a sespool of bigots and propagandists like hexbear so you’re better off just leaving.
I was recently banned for calling someone who was calling for the death of all Americans an idiot.
One of the reason why our instance defederated from Hexbear. They’re not there to discuss in good faith, they’re there to incite and provoke, then they start crying if you reply back to their nonsense.
They’re not worth interacting with.
To be fair I’ve had good discussions with a few of them, so I can’t generalise.
But… yeah, some of them don’t quite realise that the childish behaviour that would be OK in HB is despised elsewhere, and that it’s the the major reason why their instance gets defederated so bloody often - it is not red scare, it’s “get the children back to the kindergarten so the adults can talk”.
Hexbear has been far more level-headed than Lemmy.world in my experience, it’s definitely red scare. Lemmy.world admins admitted as much on their end.
Every time I interacted there, I got pile-dived. They’re not level-headed at all most of the time. If one goes against the accepted positions, especially in things like “left unity” or North Korea, it’s all baiting and insults until most people are eventually banned as “liberals” at best for reacting to it.
Sure there’s a few mature people in it, but there’s way too many tankies who take being in hexbear as an excuse to be massive assholes as often as possible.
I think l.w. is also not perfect either as it’s pretty aggressively centrist, but at least it doesn’t feel like a kindergarden most of the time.
Hexbear has been far more level-headed than Lemmy.world in my experience
This whole thread proves that this is false.
And, granted, I’m partially at fault here - since I was kind of expecting them to behave like 11yo kids once the teacher is gone, and having some fun at their expense - but note how they’re in an otherwise serious discussion and doing nothing but shitposting.
