20 points
*

You can talk about ideas on what to do in the bedroom or kitchen instead of the weather. My girlfriend and I talk about the nature of the universe and consciousness quite often.

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283 points

Sometimes you don’t need to fill the silence with sounds. I’d rather be in a relationship with someone that we can sit down and be quiet together

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-8 points
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28 points

They did say “sometimes”, but it seems like you took that to mean “all the times”?

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6 points

Everything is a balance and people are different anyways. I don’t know many people who like any of the extremes. But it’s a different amount for everyone. And the “partner” thing is strange anyways. As long as you’re madly in love, you probably enjoy hearing about every pea in their canteen meal. That might fade after 20 years of marriage. Or a stressful day at work. Or with kids. Or it doesn’t. Both is fine. As long as it’s consenting partners. 😆

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21 points

Or fuck.

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5 points

For most couples that takes up like 15 minutes once every 3-5 days or possibly much longer.

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3 points

Longer than 15 minutes?

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87 points

Or you can use literal sounds instead of words. My spouse and I have this thing going on where we make this kind of squeak/baloon sound with our mouth which has the same effect as “hi, nice to see you”.

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45 points

Oh thank god my partner and I aren’t the only ones. Don’t get me wrong, we know and like that we’re weird, but it’s nice to have company.

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6 points

A few steps away from becoming furries.

/satire

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36 points

Hahahaha I love hearing about other people’s microcultures

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1 point

Oh, good, I’ve been growing one myself, wanna see?

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10 points

Me and my gf usually say Ahoozles (shortened from Anyhoozles) and just a way of saying “I want to talk to you, I just don’t know what I want to talk about

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3 points

We just say “you know…” and then the other person will either say “yep/same” or “no I don’t know” depending on the mood. And if the cat makes noise we’ll also just say “I know buddy me too”

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3 points

My wife and I do things in threes: three taps, three nudges, three blinks, three noises, whatever. It means “I love you”. It’s a nice way to say it when you’re too tired to say it. I think it originated when we’d say it as we were falling asleep.

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203 points

The key to understanding is finishing the sentence.

“I hate small talk… with people I have no reason to talk to and don’t care about.

I love my partner, and even when it’s small talk I can listen all day, just to hear their voice and learn a little more about them, to feel closer to the person I married in many small ways.

But I don’t care about what Jim at the laundry mat did last weekend, or which machine he thinks makes socks dry faster.

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62 points

I kinda want to know about the sock thing.

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21 points

So you’re a small talk person

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49 points

Sock drying speed is important information, not time filler like the weather or sports.

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3 points

But I don’t care about what Jim at the laundry mat did last weekend, or which machine he thinks makes socks dry faster.

tough. :) here’s what he (might have) said: it’s the 2nd and 3rd dryers from the left. the smaller ones. you also need to use the smaller ‘double load’ front-loading washers. those have an extra extract cycle and get the most water out. the dryers used to literally only cost 25c to dry most loads (an extra quarter for all denim or something), but they (new owners of the laundry) increased the minimum needed per-load to $1.50 (on top of more than doubling the washers’ prices). greedy bastards.

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27 points

But small talk is what got you your wife. What if Jim can be your future if you just gave him the time

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6 points

Drag didn’t get drag’s dragon by doing small talk. Drag’s dragon fell in love with drag because it was impressed with drag’s magic.

Get yourself a girlfriend by impressing her with your arcane talents.

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3 points
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15 points

Someone once pointed out to me that what I consider small talk might be someone else’s important.

Sure it might seem like gossip or chat about the weather just for the sake of talking but it can equally be someone trying to say that they are lonely and need reassurance.

I think about that a lot and I’ve become a lot more tolerant. Besides, you can segue into some pretty big chat from such humble starts.

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4 points

I also had a workplace where the admin kept accusing us of “gossiping” about them. The misogynistic implications were not lost on a group of (mostly) female nurses who were actually mostly discussing how they were being horribly mistreated by their superiors. These people were really tryna act like we were bullying them; our bosses. YOU CAN’T BULLY YOUR BOSS.

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7 points

This is a great way to think about it, goes along nicely with the idea that even the smallest acts of care can have a huge impact on someone’s day. Simply engaging with someone a little can be enough to make them feel better. It might even be fair to say it’s What We Owe To Each Other (for fans of moral philosophy, and/or The Good Place 😉).

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3 points
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41 points

Extrovert cannot comprehend being quiet.

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5 points

Wonder if Twitter person who made that comment just has people who don’t want to have small talk with them

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8 points
*

Not just extroverts. I’m pretty introverted but I’m also the type of person who is very heavy on verbal communication and I tend to get a lot of my affirmation through words.

Being “still” is a learned skill for me.

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