CBS News, hosting vice presidential candidates JD Vance and Tim Walz for the general election campaign’s third debate next week, says it will be up to the politicians — not the moderators — to check the facts of their opponents.

267 points

So what the fuck do we need CBS for again?

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74 points

Colbert?

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91 points

Hey, let’s get Stephen to do the live fact-checking!

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64 points

Have two mods. Late Night Steven and Colbert Report Steven.

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19 points

He did a live show after the Trump-Harris debate. Perhaps he’ll do another!

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1 point

But they aren’t doing any fact checking

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30 points

If CBS suddenly disappeared, Colbert could go anywhere he wants I bet.

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14 points

No bet. Colbert would be juuuuust fine.

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226 points

Heaven forbid journalists do… you know, their jobs?

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18 points

We Report, You Decide

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28 points

We report what we want you to decide

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104 points

Weak.

C’mon, CBS. The ghost of Cronkite might have to visit you.

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91 points
*

Vance isn’t Trump. He’s a wet noodle who can barely work his way through a sentence. Walz is an adorable teddy bear with claws.

It’ll be the cutest bloodbath we’ve ever seen, and we’ll all laugh about how the old guy from Minnesota made the dude wearing eyeliner get scared of giving trans school kids free lunches.

Edit: I can’t wait!

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62 points

He’s ok with pushing outright lies, and it’s hard to keep up with all the right wing lies that are floating around. I hope Walz just starts calling them the liars they are instead of avoiding ‘name calling’.

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47 points

Vance isn’t much of a public speaker, and, up against a debate opponent like Walz (who is a great public speaker), Vance is pretty much fucked. He won’t have much of a defense but to pivot when confronted, and Walz is both clever and persistent. He’s also extremely charming, which Vance extremely isn’t, lol.

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23 points

You’re making me look forward to it. Kinda. Let’s say I’m looking forward to the instant replays by the Daily Show.

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11 points

Vance is like a Dollar Store version of Trump. He looks like the same product, he tells the same lies, but the parts aren’t all there. He’s a grifter but he’s not in the same league as The Donald, he even looks like he’s in pain when he lies.

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13 points

The fucked up part is that, since you can’t get cheaper than Trump, the knockoff is actually more expensive. Worse, Vance is also (somehow), dumber, poorer, less-popular, and more insecure. He’s also - unbelievably- worse with interactions with the public and with public speaking.

And we’re about to find out how bad he is at debate against a real politician.

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3 points

Vance at least looks like an actual human, the Toupee’s human disguise was created by a sentient pile of excrement that only once glanced at a human from a distance.

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9 points

Vance isn’t Trump. He’s a wet noodle who can barely work his way through a sentence.

But what is Vance?

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7 points

He only isn’t things. The absence of morals and personality. Pure lack.

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2 points

Senator Vance (void)

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6 points

But what is Vance?

Cold pee

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1 point

But cold pee at least served a useful purpose at one time.

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4 points

It’ll be the cutest bloodbath we’ve ever seen

When you wrestle the pig, you both get muddy but only the pig likes it.

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20 points

They both look pretty happy to me.

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11 points
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Helps when the pig is both extremely popular already, and the pig’s opponent is… lol… well, JD Vance lmao

Seriously, the guy lost a debate against the opening staff at a donut shop. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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67 points

Extremists (hint: not Tim Walz) will be able to just spout lies the whole time, and rational, honest candidates: (hint: not JD Vance) will have to either let them get away with complete bullshit assertions, or spend part of their time doing the job of the moderators… This is why no one believes in Journalism these days…

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4 points

Let him get away with it, there’s only so many lies that you can prepare for and getting a fact check wrong is worse than just lying

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1 point

The reverse gish gallop!

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1 point

Yeah but when you know what they’re messaging on you can absolutely prepare for the worst ones like After Birth Abortion and Immigrants eating pets. Which were the two big fact checks.

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