until you grow old
Really hope they mean “as you grow old”.
Well, the odds of one partner passing first are a lot higher than both going at the same time :( but that’s a problem for future we.
Isn’t this just phrasing it differently? “Until you’re old” doesn’t imply anything different than “as you grow old” to me.
Until means up to the point. The sentence implies a change at the point of being old.
Maybe it would be correct to think of it like “I was awake until dawn”, where you aren’t necessarily asleep after dawn, if you stay up you were up until dawn, and after dawn as well. edit: I’m done fighting the idiot who is Pyre. He’s an idiot who can’t read basic English.
Maybe someday…
We decided to finally play Jumanji. She had to crawl across the living room and almost broke her knee. Now she is pouting with a cool pack while I boil water to make her tea.
Being single is cool and all. But I never want to go back. I decided this to be my life.
It’s damn nice, ngl. And I didn’t get married until 2013 at almost 40.
It’s one of those things worth waiting for, rather than jumping into at first opportunity. Not saying I wouldn’t have preferred to have had what I have now sooner, but younger me wouldn’t have been ready anyway. I’m just saying that it isn’t something to rush for the sake of being married, it’s about being good partners, matching well, and that’s not something that’s guaranteed to happen at any given age.
Know more than a few people who lived together for years before tying the knot primarily for the economic benefit (plus throwing a big party is fun). By the time you’re really vibing with someone, marriage is almost an afterthought.
This is my situation. Dated/lived together for 3 years before going to the courthouse. Reception was at a spaghetti place nothing fancy since there are a lot of kids in my family lol it was such a blast, so low key. We’ve been together for a decade now. Wouldn’t change it for the world. We’re best friends. When we got married, everything and nothing changed all at once. Best decision I’ve ever made.
At the same time, it really, really sucks thinking you found this and then slowly realizing years into it that it’s not going to work because it’s just crushing your soul and there are some fundamental incompatibilities that are just not going to change and you have to get out for the sake of your own sanity and long term happiness, despite how much you want to make it work.
Source: I’m in the terminal phases of that process right now.
Apologies for being a Debbie downer. Just having some pretty rough times right now, and the next couple of weeks are going to absolutely suck, and there’s definitely no way around it but through.
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you manage to navigate this uncomfortable (and temporary) period of your life and can get back to building happiness again.
I appreciate your sentiments. Your posts often give me spikes of amusement, for what that’s worth. <3
At the same time, it really, really sucks thinking you found this and then slowly realizing years into it that it’s not going to work
Its not going to work with that particular person, but that doesn’t mean your life is over nor that the one you’re looking for still isn’t out there looking for you. I’m really sorry to hear about the situation you’re in right now, and its not going to be easy to get through this and its certainly not going to be quick, but you can get through this. You can heal. You are so much more than just that relationship even though it may not feel like that right now.
You must navigate these choppy waters with an aim to come out the other side whole in time. You owe it to yourself. If you want to try again in the future, should you want to try again, you owe it to the other person thats still out there looking for you.
Oh, I know that. I am actually very confident I’m going to feel way better in the long term. I’m just struggling a lot with guilt and stuff right now because a big part of me feels like a complete psychopath for basically spurning someone I love a lot, and who I know loves me a lot too.
That said, I do appreciate your well-wishes. <3
I am in exactly the same place right now. It’s really shit. I know it will be better eventually, but to hear someone else say it is very helpful. Best of everything to you. Stay strong.
Yo, I’m turning in the divorce papers in a few weeks. After months of detangling finances and finding new places 🎉 Only took like 5 years of me giving it my all and my former spouse constantly telling me I wasn’t doing enough for them. The years before all that were pretty great though
As a generally lazy person, I would suggest other lazy people look for similar minded matches. Don’t look for a type A hyper organized person that’ll pick up after you. My wife and I are lazy in different ways and make that work for us. Sorry you are going through this OP, I hope you find your match!
That’s… actually part of what did us in. She helped me improve myself, and I became a lot happier for it. I tried to return the favor… she was largely unreceptive, and several years of that led to immense frustration, followed by despair. It turned my trajectory right around. And one I had tasted the positive direction, I wanted it back, and I couldn’t settle for just trying to pull her through life.
Dude I’m in the detangling finance stage now.
I made like 3x what she did before we separated so quite literally everything has my name on it. Her lawyer gave an absurd number for the budget she would need me to cover for maintenance for the next 5 years and my lawyer said “ok prove the need.” I don’t think she’ll be able to, but yikes, the thought of this having to go through court is frustrating
I’m fortunate enough that mine is very amicable. No lawyers, we’re splitting everything 50/50, there are a few big things that would make it more complicated in a court but we’re like “no you’re the only one who uses that you get it” kind of stuff. We would have turned in the divorce papers a few weeks ago actually but they’re on my insurance and I didn’t want to kick them until their new job’s insurance takes affect. Even with all this going for us the finances thing took so much work. Can’t imagine what a contested detangling would be like. You’ve got this!
Hey, I just did that a year ago this November 1st!
Man, am I glad I did. And man, was it so worth it.
