49 points

3 issues

  1. Not standing
  2. There are 5 of them
  3. Which Jesus?
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30 points

#3 is clear. When Jesus enters the room, you get the fuck up.

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21 points

That was a very unexpected and wild ride through Wikipedia.

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5 points

When Jesus enters the room, you get the fuck up.

The same holds true for Martin Sheen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKhTFDBj-rw

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3 points

When the president stands, nobody sits

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2 points

Later that morning, Puke noticed that Allin still lay motionless in the same place where he had left him and posed for Polaroids with the corpse before calling for an ambulance.

Jesus Christ!

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4 points

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

dir: Andrew Adamson

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6 points

Maybe the fifth one is Jesus?

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5 points

This reminds me of a joke:

Why didn’t Jesus play basketball? Because soccer is a much more popular sport in Mexico.

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9 points

Not only does Jesus play basketball, he’s a super dick about it:

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5 points

Plot twist: the guy in the middle is jesus.

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23 points

Standing optional.

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6 points

I think that’s somewhere in Luke.

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4 points

Plot twist: That’s not all that’s in Luke.

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5 points

I don’t know about Luke, but this is in Matthew (15:11)-

What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.

So swallow, don’t spit.

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20 points

The guy in the middle can’t tie his tie correctly. You don’t leave it hanging on the side like that. I don’t trust guys like that.

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16 points

They say that they will stand for Jesus, not that they’re currently standing for Jesus.

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4 points

It’s always what they will do tomorrow and never what can be done today, amiright?

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1 point

I got all the way down on my one knee and nothing short of the second coming is gonna move me from this spot

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1 point

Don’t think you can swallow the first coming in time?

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10 points

Ok I think I’ve got it.

Jesus is like Voltron, the 3 dudes in the middle combine to form him.
And the 2 on the ends are the spiritual equivalent of two men each, which is why all the parts of Jesus are hanging out with them.

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1 point

Of shit what if it’s like Captain planet, and if they all stand up at the same time it’ll summon Jesus?
They’re not allowed standing because they don’t want to trigger the rapture!

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