It makes it all the more attention-grabbing when you hit just the right mix of attitude, self-care, antidepressants, and stimulants that you can just do some shit and feel good about it, then even look forward to doing some other shit and getting that done too.
It doesn’t fix everything and it doesn’t stay that way without ongoing work, but it helps to genuinely know the feeling to help you going your way back there again.
Wants to go to bed, doesn’t
Been there in the past, but I actually have been doing all of the above past couple of years.
I recently read Peter Kropotkin’s The Conquest of Bread on anarcho-communism, and am currently reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson. I’ve been drawing geometric patterns, mostly based on the Islamic tradition of geometry, and after drawing the patterns I start painting to add some color. I throw them away after a while, but I just like the flow-experience of painting/drawing, don’t really care about the end-result. I’m studying French on a daily basis, mostly on Busuu, but also by watching French movies (most recently Le Proces Goldman) and reading French books (most recently Le Petit Prince). I watch on average 2 movies per week at my local cinema, got a subscription there, sometimes go with friends but I also often go alone. I enjoy going to museums and studying art history, so when I have the time I cross the country by train and make visits. I also take psychedelics (LSD and/or psilocybin) every 2 or 3 weeks. Psychedlics are a lot of fun, but I also actually believe they helped me grow as a person, from what the OP describes, to where I am now. Psychedelics aren’t for everyone, but still I’d highly recommend most people to try them out some time (responsibly of course).
It’s that AuDHD depression anxiety CPTSD super combo that makes me perpetually stuck in a freeze response 😎
I don’t dream about fancy vacations and places far away. There is just this 6 hour bike tour starting and finishing at my very home that I thought of, connecting my favourite tour with my favourite hike in a circle. That’s my dream vacation.
Yet another summer ends without it.
