112 points

You know what, we can do that too:

“They’re saying Trump is sleeping with Laura Loomer. She’s controlling him. He’s an old piece of shit that is easily manipulated and controlled by a crazy woman willing to give him some sadvag. People are saying this.”

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54 points

I’ve read this on the internet so I believe it to be true

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20 points
*

Now I’ve seen someone read that comment out on TV, so therefore it must be true!

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14 points

Also his rally crowd sizes are very small. Very.

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14 points

We have small crowds, very small crowds. The smallest of all crowds. Sad.

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19 points

You know, I’ve also heard people saying this. Many people are saying this.

Who specifically? Oh, I can’t recall.

But lots of people are saying this.

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6 points

I also heard this.

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3 points

Yeah, word is on the street Laura and Don are a couple. Hell I think I might have heard some people talking about it at the bar. Melania must be pissed 😂

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1 point

Melania always looks like she has been sucking on lemons, but she’s probably fine with it? She doesn’t have to touch him and her prenup keeps her finances safe.

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1 point

Shouldn’t you do something implausible with zero evidence to match it? Or do you think it’s just impossible that he would have since she doesn’t look like Ivanka?

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2 points

I think you’re speaking about people who live in reality. There’s yer problem.

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54 points

He sounds like me accusing people of hacking because I lost in a game.

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16 points
*

But he won, remember?

The enemy is both weak and strong.

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52 points

In Trump land, the accusation is always an admission.

This asshole was probably wearing 3 wires, but he bought them off Temu, and they shorted out after she shook his hand.

Motherfucker was a sweaty mess after that power move.

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19 points

Conservative debate has basically devolved into “But, can you tell me what a woman is?”. Trump could have a team of the best conservative debaters in his ear and he’d do just about as well.

Also doesn’t help that he doesn’t listen to jack shit so he’d likely rip out the headphone for being annoying.

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14 points

It’s actually not just wires - credible reports say he used a different kind of device

It’s well known that Donald Trump was using a bluetooth butt plug during the debate […]

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5 points

Holy hell

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1 point

Wait does this mean he is eating cats?

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37 points

The real scoop is that Trump himself wore a bluetooth communication device throughout the debate - the tell tale signs of subtle vibrations have been confirmed by independent experts - I’ve seen talk of this before on Lemmy but it seems like MSM have been suppressing this story… yet another case of conservative bias.

It’s been credibly pointed out elsewhere that Trump pulled a Hans Neimann

It’s well known that Donald Trump was using a bluetooth butt plug during the debate […]

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9 points

This would be a good rumor to spread except that everyone knows he doesn’t have the rectal control to hold in a butt plug.

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10 points

That’s why he’s got a diaper on. Helps keep it in place and catches it if it slips out.

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3 points

That’s why he had that face the whole time

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5 points

Is it Morse code or just the 1 for no, 2 for yes kind of thing?

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8 points
*

Can you imagine Donny Diapers learning Morse code? I’m surprised he can even read at a 3rd grade level.

Anyway, it’s probably more like one buzz for “calm the fuck down” and two for “no, seriously CALM THE FUCK DOWN!”

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4 points

Morse code - it’s how people talked when Trump was growing up afterall.

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2 points

I thought it was smoke signals

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2 points
*

He grew up? I thought he just got old.

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3 points

BZZZZZ. BZZZZZ.

Tell him to change the subject from people eating pets!

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

“I’m trying but he won’t stop!”

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0 points

That’s when he realised he liked the buzzing!

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25 points
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Deleted by creator
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14 points

Ass, a coach in his ass. He borrowed the tech from Hans Neimann.

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12 points

Lol at someone backstage telling him “OK now attack her race. That’s great, great now immediately stop talking about the economy and mention how Haitians are eating dogs! And cats too. Perfect!”

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2 points

JD Vance stole the mic and was running away from the people who originally had it, they were 5 percent less stupid.

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10 points

You can’t prove he didn’t have a Bluetooth powered butt plug on the whole time

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