I hereby decree that religion must always keep 100 meters (328.084 feet) away from science.
I know a large portion of them genuinely don’t believe in the science or what have you, but a majority of them simply don’t give a fuck, because they’ve been promised a golden mansion and all of their loved ones healthy and happy. And all they have to do is stay meek and easily forgive all transgressions until they die. Then they’re free!
They forgive the real aggressors and unload all that anger at targets chosen by the very same aggressors.
Yeah this. Shortly before he left the church, a friend of mine’s pastor told him not to recycle because it delays the end times. These people want Armageddon and think they’re doing god’s work by hurrying it along.
According to mainstream Christianity, that’s trying to force God to do something. And the Bible is clear that nobody, not even the faithful, will know when the end times will come.
Not that I care, being an atheist. But these people make shit up without even bothering to see if it’s consistent with the shit that’s already been made up.
Christians in 1st century: the world is ending very soon!
Muslims in 7th century: the world is ending very soon!
Mormons in 19th century: the world is ending very soon!
Given enough apocalyptic religions one of them would be right, but I think that religion doesn’t exist yet.
The mayan one in 2012 was the best one so far. There was some real hype about it, movies, media, news, everyone was on it.
In the end it turned out that it was the day Gangnam Style became the first youtube video reaching 1 billion views. Some would say it really was the apocalypse.
Christians in the 1st century? So people that followed Paul after he wrote the earliest texts around 50-60AD?
Matthew 16:28 - “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”
Jesus himself said that his own followers would be alive to see the end of the world. Hence the medieval legend of The Wandering Jew.
Peter himself.
And then before the turn of the 5th century, the 10th century, the 15th century… Christians do love those round numbers.
Not all early Christians followed Paul. The church in Jerusalem under James was at odds with Paul on a number of subjects. There were also more radical groups outside Jerusalem that combined Christianity with Greek philosophy, having women preaching and leading congregations, and incorporating various mystical beliefs that didn’t originate in Judaism or the teachings of Jesus.
As always, Wikipedia is a good resource here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events
Incomplete, obviously.
The Muslims have never had a big, convoluted End Times mythos like the Christians, at least not in the Qur’an. At some point in the indefinite future, there will be Judgement Day, and everybody living or dead will get hauled in front of Allah and the recording angel will play back your scorecard. Then it’s Jinnah (heaven) or Jehenna (hell).
There are quite a number of hadiths (extra-scriptural reports of things Muhammad said or did) that talk about the end times. Hadiths are assessed by Islamic scholars based on their provenance and general credibility. Those originating from people close to the Prophet are ranked higher; those that contradict the Qur’an are downgraded. Most of the non-Qur’anic end times narratives sound very similar to Christian eschatology, except that the Mahdi, the successor prophet to Muhammad, appears. Jesus (Issa) returns (and maybe he’s the same guy as the Mahdi?), there’s the Antichrist (the Dajjal) stirring up mischief, there are signs and portents, the giants Gog and Magog running amok, the stars fall from the sky as meteors, etc, etc.
It’s not as entertaining as Ragnarök, but it’s more coherent than the Christian fundies’ fanfic.
American Evangelicals: THE RAPTURE IS COMING AND THE TRIBULATION IS NIGH!
Jehovah’s witnesses: THEY ARE COMING FOR US, THEY’RE COMING FOR US BECAUSE WE’RE WITNESSES!
Mormons: WE’RE GONNA NEED THE FOOD STORES WE WERE TOLD TO MAKE, JUST YOU WAIT!
Scientists: Climate Change will lead to everything going to shit if we don’t do shit now.
All of them together: BULLSHIT!
Scientists: Climate Change will lead to everything going to shit if we don’t change our gluttonous ways and become good stewards of Creation.
Supply Side Jesus: HERESY!
You send me looking and at least the JW believe in climate change and argue that it was foretold in the Bible.
Yeah, JWs (I’m ex) believe climate change is foretold in Rev 11:18, which says (dunno which version, just googled, but not the JW version as it uses ruining the Earth);
The nations raged, but your wrath came, and the time for the dead to be judged, and for rewarding your servants, the prophets and saints, and those who fear your name, both small and great, and for destroying the destroyers of the earth.
Italics mine. JW version is bring >“to ruin those ruining the Earth.” Either way, they believe that means God will stop and destroy those bringing about climate change. Since it relies on God, it’s another one that really doesn’t help even if they believe in in, because they believe God will stop it before it’s too late.
Dear Milena,
I wish the world were ending tomorrow. Then I could take the next train, arrive at your doorstep in Vienna, and say: “Come with me, Milena. We are going to love each other without scruples or fear or restraint. Because the world is ending tomorrow.” Perhaps we don’t love unreasonably because we think we have time, or have to reckon with time. But what if we don’t have time? Or what if time, as we know it, is irrelevant? Ah, if only the world were ending tomorrow. We could help each other very much.
Franz Kafka
