Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I’m a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch emblem on a cattle’s hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well
Obviously fake. Texans don’t read or write.
I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town.
It took me until this part to recognize it.
“I own several kimonos, which I wear around town”
Well done. 10/10.
There was a stand up act about a guy who was learning German, and decided to listen to German speeches as he slept to help him absorb the language quicker. You can probably guess how that can backfire.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=f7TboWvVERU
"Wenn Sie … vom Hauptbahnhof in München … mit zehn Minuten, ohne, dass Sie am Flughafen noch einchecken müssen, dann starten Sie im Grunde genommen am Flughafen … am … am Hauptbahnhof in München starten Sie Ihren Flug. Zehn Minuten. Schauen Sie sich mal die großen Flughäfen an, wenn Sie in Heathrow in London oder sonst wo, meine se … Charles de Gaulle äh in Frankreich oder in …äh… in … in…äh…in Rom.
Wenn Sie sich mal die Entfernungen ansehen, wenn Sie Frankfurt sich ansehen, dann werden Sie feststellen, dass zehn Minuten… Sie jederzeit locker in Frankfurt brauchen, um ihr Gate zu finden. Wenn Sie vom Flug … vom … vom Hauptbahnhof starten - Sie steigen in den Hauptbahnhof ein, Sie fahren mit dem Transrapid in zehn Minuten an den Flughafen in … an den Flughafen Franz Josef Strauß.
Dann starten Sie praktisch hier am Hauptbahnhof in München. Das bedeutet natürlich, dass der Hauptbahnhof im Grunde genommen näher an Bayern … an die bayerischen Städte heranwächst, weil das ja klar ist, weil auf dem Hauptbahnhof viele Linien aus Bayern zusammenlaufen."
(assisted) English Translation
"If you … from the main station in Munich … with ten minutes, without having to check in at the airport, then you basically start at the airport … at … at the main station in Munich, you start your flight. Ten minutes. Take a look at the big airports, if you’re at Heathrow in London or somewhere else, my se … Charles de Gaulle uh in France or in …uh… in … in…uh…in Rome.
If you look at the distances, if you look at Frankfurt, you’ll see that ten minutes… you’ll always take this much time in Frankfurt to find your gate. If you start from the flight … from … from the main station - you board the main station, you take the Transrapid to the airport in … to Franz Josef Strauß Airport.
Then you practically start here at Munich Central Station. Of course, this means that the main station is basically closer to Bavaria … to the Bavarian cities, because that’s obvious, because many lines from Bavaria converge at the main station."
Translator’s note: [sic]
I’m a native German and I don’t get it. What is the speaker talking about? Is this in favor of trains or planes???
I’m an american who lives in colombia. I learned spanish here. The locals like it because I’m the only gringo they know that doesn’t speak like a mexican or a spaniard. The bad thing is all my friends are street kids basically and I learned how to talk from them and watching gangster novellas. Needless to say my slang is a bit like the OP in the meme. I’ve gotten a few colombians to laugh instead of be frustrated or mad at me for my language because I dropped a phrase that they don’t usually hear from gringos.
My father learned Norwegian from my mother. Trouble is that she speaks a super rural dialect. When he had business partners from Norway over he tried talking to them but they couldn’t understand a word he was saying.
Luckily my mother isn’t Danish.
Something similar, years back when I was taking Norwegian classes, my teacher was telling us about a relative of hers. According to our teacher, it was pretty common for families with the means to do so to send their kids off to an English-language immersion camp over the summer around the time they were 14 or so. She said most of the people would go to camps in the UK and come back with something of a posh British accent, but her one relative’s parents dropped the ball on signing up and missed the chance to send her there, as all the spaces were booked by the time they checked. They looked around and found another immersion camp that was still accepting applications, and sent this girl off to perfect her English, in Arkansas. She came back with quite the accent, leaving people she spoke to in English baffled at how she wound up picking it up.
You mean like how Butcher from “the boys” sounds like a kiwi mimicking all the accents from a Guy Ritchie movie at the same time.