I don’t get it. You liked me to get to the point where we could talk, and then you don’t respond when I say what’s up. It’s not even just girls; guys do this shit too.
Social decorum was developed alongside our growing minds. In the absence of the triggers of sight, sound, smell, and touch, people are generally apathetic to the needs and wants of others. Anonymity was not something that our innately social brains were bred for and the monkey at the center of the human psyche is exposed through it.
I’m not on any of these sites but often I’ll sit down to play a game and stare at my game library. Fully knowing if I try any I’ll like them. But instead I sit and flick through the library and end up playing nothing, maybe even buy a new game and turn it off before the load screen. Then I go to bed. I wonder if it’s the same feeling
I have such an easy time on dating sites. If they message me first I know it’s a bot. 100% of the time the next message is either a link or asking if I have some random off site messaging thing they’ll send me a link on.
I guess they see my profile and know think “he’s gotta be desperate, just look at that pathetic fuck.”
“Lol” …
Well from the screenshot this looks like bumble, which forces the girl to message first
I actually forgot that was a thing! I liked the sites that let you actually have a decent bio like plenty of fish and okcupid since I really want to know about the person and not just how attractive they can look in a picture :/
Then okcupid became tinder 2.0 swipe only and pof is apparently trying to become a streaming service…
I’m pretty sure that would be spammed to everyone. Chin up mate you don’t even come off that way.
Anyway check out the nudes Ive posted and DM me some time.
PSA: If you’re a guy on a dating site and you reply with just “hey” or something similar to a lady then you’ve fucked up.
You get one shot at a semi-witty reply that may get her to smile before your reply is buried under 100 other guys also vying for her attention.
Just quickly read her profile and make some kind of riff off of it with an open ended question.
“Hey blahblah I saw you liked The Office, I’m more of a fan of working from home myself.
Also, why’s everyone seem to be looking for Jim? Who’s that guy?”
I guess, but wasn’t the point of bumble to turn that on it’s head? Like, traditionally, the guy on a dating site is supposed to come up with a semi-witty first text in order to not be buried. Bumble set itself apart by having the lady message first to avoid that, right? What happened?
Doomed business model. Women won’t initiate when it’s easier to not.
Would you initiate a conversation when you’ve got dozens of women, many of them very attractive, vying for your attention? You’d just pick the prettiest or wittiest and let them take the lead
We need an app that keeps the gender ratios even.
We need an app that keeps the gender ratios even.
Isn’t that what Tinder is indirectly trying to achieve with its “Get Super Gold+++ insta premium” business model? To get a somewhat even gender ratio you need to get a bunch of men to drop out, and asking for absurd amounts of money is certainly one way to go about it. Though I hear even premium tinder users vastly outnumber the women.
A raffle could work in theory, but upwards of 80 % of men will have to be thrown out and as a woman I wouldn’t see why I would settle for that instead of an app where attractive men will be falling over themselves to talk to me.
AFAIK the only proven methods for not-super-attractive men to get matches is to either go offline, or be bi/gay. Do with that advice what you will.
I think I remember a site like that existing in the 2010s, where you had to apply to join and it only let in equal numbers of genders.
It was the 2010s so the waiting list for dudes joining was way longer than the one for women. It was like trying to get in a dance club.
Best you can hope for on bumble is a ‘hey’ from the woman.
That’s all they ever need to say, because again, it’s stacked heavily in favour of women so when they send 100 ‘hey 👋🏼’ messages they get 95 replies that have to carry the entire conversation. It sucks but that’s the reality.
Maybe I should just put my salary on my profile
Hi there, I’m Terry Risco
As you can tell by my profile, I own a Ferrari and earn 150k a year from scamming desperate youtubers with the air of pure unapologetic narcissism.
My interests are: Money.
My favourite musicians are: I pay desperate youtubers to sing my praises.
In my free time I like to: I take adderall to stay awake and sleeping pills to go to bed
As a guy who used to be on bumble (met my partner there) I will say that any conversation that started with ‘hey how’s it going’ just went nowhere 100% of the time. It’s so easy to ask literally anything else. We don’t know each other, what’s the point in asking how it’s going if all you’ll ever get as a reply is either “good, and you?” which doesn’t break any ice and introduces a lull on the conversation 4 messages into the chat or if it’s an honest “pretty shit, actually” the tone of the conversation becomes immediately weird because you don’t know each other enough to pry into that.
Things you could ask:
- cuddled any cats lately?
- what made you smile today/this week?
- what song have you played on repeat lately?
- play any games lately? (depending on if they list games as their interest, most matches I got listed board games)
This way you’ll immediately either find common ground or find differences between your everyday experiences that you can talk about.
I have made countless attempts to make a personal statement about their pictures or interests and like zero responses. When I just do something stupid or not even think of it, an actual conversation.
I met my GF through bumble too but only because we knew each other and didn’t realize we both were divorced now. So I just texted her.
As someone who’s not used these things, what’s wrong with a basic handshake to establish the comms channel?
“Hey, are you listening?”
“Yes, go ahead.”
…
Isn’t that all this really is?
Seems a weird thing for people to be uptight about.
a handshake is a formality, it’s something you do to formalize an interaction, we’re formalizing an interaction on a platform that is so personally disconnected it might as well be irrelevant to begin with.
This isn’t two people in a room, you don’t need to get someones attention by saying “hey” you don’t need to open up to them by offering your hand for a handshake, you’re both there mutually for the purposes of talking, why wouldn’t you get straight to talking?
