164 points

Find out her favorite food, eat it for three days and fart next time you’re near her.

The familiar scent will make her fall for you.

permalink
report
reply
61 points

Shit people say on lemmy

permalink
report
parent
reply
35 points

Shit people say smell on lemmy.

permalink
report
parent
reply

im in looooove!! 💘

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

This is the kind of reasonable take I come here for.

permalink
report
parent
reply
11 points

That how you fell for Satan?

permalink
report
parent
reply

>new job
>no clue what duties are
>manager out sick with severe oral chlamydia
>ask coworker
>smells like a sweat sock doused in ammonia
>nearly burst into treats upon entering their miasma
>somehow surmises I’m trying to smash
>grimace.wave
>I silently retreat
>still need money
>surveillance is the only route forward
>surreptitiously watch coworker
>they never notice
>gradually learn how to use the register
>discover job duties
>uncover weed stashes
>encounter the cum room
>my picture above a desecrated bucket
>cease hiding my reconnaissance
>they cease visiting the cum room
>still sneaks peeks at me
>bust them for weed stashes
>work suddenly feels safe
>feelsgoodman.png

permalink
report
reply
76 points

“>nearly burst into treats upon entering their miasma”

Nice try, piñata person, I bet you thought nobody would notice?

permalink
report
parent
reply
76 points

she keeps glancing at me

I stop looking at her all the time

hmmm

permalink
report
reply
65 points

OP discovered women have eyes and use them to look at people.

permalink
report
reply
7 points

Big if true

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

It’s not, don’t fall for the propaganda!

permalink
report
parent
reply
50 points
*

Probably hes staring at her and what hes seeing is her noticing him staring at her. Anon is indeed a fucktard.

>tries to help out at new job

>immediately gets hit on by neckbeard coworker

>he wont stop staring at me all day

Guys don’t be like anon.

permalink
report
reply
6 points

Seriously? From the story, anon did everything right.

Saw potential interest, acted on it in a nonthreatening way, when no positive response came, took it as a rejection and did not harass or continue pursuing.

permalink
report
parent
reply

Greentext

!greentext@sh.itjust.works

Create post

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you’re new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

  • Anon is often crazy.
  • Anon is often depressed.
  • Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

Community stats

  • 8.4K

    Monthly active users

  • 846

    Posts

  • 16K

    Comments