165 points

Find out her favorite food, eat it for three days and fart next time you’re near her.

The familiar scent will make her fall for you.

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62 points

Shit people say on lemmy

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36 points

Shit people say smell on lemmy.

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im in looooove!! 💘

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16 points

This is the kind of reasonable take I come here for.

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11 points

That how you fell for Satan?

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>new job
>no clue what duties are
>manager out sick with severe oral chlamydia
>ask coworker
>smells like a sweat sock doused in ammonia
>nearly burst into treats upon entering their miasma
>somehow surmises I’m trying to smash
>grimace.wave
>I silently retreat
>still need money
>surveillance is the only route forward
>surreptitiously watch coworker
>they never notice
>gradually learn how to use the register
>discover job duties
>uncover weed stashes
>encounter the cum room
>my picture above a desecrated bucket
>cease hiding my reconnaissance
>they cease visiting the cum room
>still sneaks peeks at me
>bust them for weed stashes
>work suddenly feels safe
>feelsgoodman.png

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77 points

“>nearly burst into treats upon entering their miasma”

Nice try, piñata person, I bet you thought nobody would notice?

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76 points

she keeps glancing at me

I stop looking at her all the time

hmmm

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65 points

OP discovered women have eyes and use them to look at people.

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7 points

Big if true

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1 point

It’s not, don’t fall for the propaganda!

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50 points
*

Probably hes staring at her and what hes seeing is her noticing him staring at her. Anon is indeed a fucktard.

>tries to help out at new job

>immediately gets hit on by neckbeard coworker

>he wont stop staring at me all day

Guys don’t be like anon.

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6 points

Seriously? From the story, anon did everything right.

Saw potential interest, acted on it in a nonthreatening way, when no positive response came, took it as a rejection and did not harass or continue pursuing.

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Greentext

!greentext@sh.itjust.works

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you’re new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

  • Anon is often crazy.
  • Anon is often depressed.
  • Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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